Never Let Me Go
by Daydreamer7824
Summary: ItachixOc "We are nothing alike." He reached his hand out running his fingers through my dark hair. "...I think you forget I'm not the only one with the power to kill clans."
1. It's a different kind of danger

The dust settled as we all stared at each other. The two in black with red clouds cloaks were on the other side of the clearing their faces hidden underneath straw hats. My team stood posed to strike. Rayne, Ruka and Kai. Were we strong enough? We didn't come prepared. This wasn't our mission. We were to gather intel on a village rumored to have a Jinchuriki. Even if the Akatsuki were hunting them we were supposed to have time before they moved.

Except I knew they would be there. Tsunade-sama made a false mission so we would run into them. They wanted me. And I would be the leaf's spy. The possibility of death was obvious but I was loyal to my village and would do what was asked.

҉҉҉

"Shikyo, I have a very special mission I would like you to consider," Tsunade said sitting behind her desk with a scroll in front of her. Shizune was refusing to look at me she was hugging the pig.

"What kind of mission Hokage-sama?" I asked. My team wasn't here. Tsunade has only been Hokage for a year. I didn't know her thinking as well as I did the third.

"We have heard that the Akatsuki have been asking for information about you," the Hokage said.

There was a pregnant pause as I thought over her words. I am a jonin, yes. I was young when I became a genin but I couldn't think of _why_ they would want information on me. When I was in the anbu my identity was hidden anything that happened in that time would not be common knowledge.

"What exactly have they been asking?" I asked.

"For the most part they want to know about your Kekkei Genkai. They are curious as to how it's developed and what you are known for."

I hissed an intake of breathe. My Kekkei Genkai wasn't well known. I come from the first ninja clan. Their name isn't known anymore. We established the first villages by the elements we could control. Water, Fire, Earth, Wind and Lightening. Our eyes resemble what nation we were born in and our control over the element is strongest in their respected country. All eye based Kekkei Genkai evolved from my clan.

"We need intel on their whereabouts and what they are up to. Shikyo we are asking you to be our spy. They want you and this would be our best chance to know exactly who and what we are dealing with." Tsunade explained.

"You don't have to!" Shizune exploded. "You have a choice, Shikyo, please know that."

I could see Tsunade's glare at Shizune as she winced away.

"I would like to think about this," I said.

"Of course but please tell no one." Tsunade said.

"I… I would like Kakashi's permission before I make a decision. I mean no disrespect Hokage-sama but Kakashi has been the only one there for me since… her death and I would not want to distress him."

"Only Kakashi," The fifth Hokage said as she handed me the scroll.

I took the scroll and bowed; using the wind to take me to Kakashi. I needed his permission. I couldn't take this mission knowing he'd resent me. Especially if I died. I don't know if he'd forgive me.

҉҉҉҉

According to the scroll this was supposed to be a blonde Akatsuki with a hunched over guy. That's all we knew. This wasn't them. One was at least 5 inches taller than the other. Both stood tall staring.

"What do we do?" Ruka asked breaking the silence.

I stared at the two before us. If I made myself known maybe I could keep them out of the fight. At least keep them alive. The smaller one looked up and I saw it. The Sharingan.

"Itachi Uchiha," I hissed.

"We're fucked," Rayne said to Ruka.

"Kakashi couldn't even fight him," Ruka whispered.

I raised my hand and they both went on guard. This was not the plan. Itachi could kill us without even trying or use his tsukuyomi on us. I haven't seen Itachi since I was 11. Would he remember me? Remember my powers. Back then I could only use fire and water I was still learning wind. Lightening came later. And Earth was my worst. I was born in the Land of Water. Earth was my opposite. It would always be a struggle.

"Shikyo?" Ruka asked nervous.

"I'm thinking."

"The odds are not in our favor," Kai put in.

I was aware. Alright, I had a mission now was the time to start.

"We are shinobi of the leaf," I announced. "I am Shikyo. State your business."

The taller one stepped forward. Kisame. He really did look like a fish. The sword on his back could eat chakra. I had to remember that. He was fast, strong, and had no hesitation when it came to killing. A legendary Swordsman of the Mist.

"Now who would give their daughter a name like that? 'Death' really?" he asked taking his hat off.

I readied a kunai in my hand. I was not going to make the first move. Itachi stepped in front of Kisame and took his hat off. His Sharingan stared right at me. He remembered me. I could see it in his eyes.

"Hello Itachi-kun," an air of condensation in my voice.

"Do you think he'll spare us since they used to be friends?" Ruka asked Rayne behind me. I saw Kisame glance at Itachi.

"Something is telling me that if he can kill his clan, he can kill a girl he knew as a child." Rayne answered.

"But, ya know, maybe, he still cares deep down," Ruka said.

"Ruka," I warned. It wasn't her fault. She was a nervous talker.

Ruka was a skilled medical ninja. Her speed made it impossible to touch her. Rayne was an amazing genjutsu wielder. Kai's taijutsu and weapon skills were to be feared. With my ninjutsu skills we were a very well rounded team. We taught each other a little of everything. Ruka taught us all how to heal minor cuts and bruises while still battling. Rayne made it so even if we were trapped in the most seamless genjutsus we could identify it and escape. Thanks to Kai we all could fight and defend ourselves no matter the enemy. We were about to find out if all that training was worth it.

I reached out with my chakra and made the wind blow between us. My long black hair lifted in the breeze. I could feel Ruka's nervous aura and Kai and Rayne's anticipation for the fight but Neither Kisame nor Itachi's chakra were being used. What were they planning?

"Shikyo," Itachi said slowly. "You've grown."


	2. Caught

"Mother where are we going?" I asked as we walked into the forests on the outskirts of the city.

"You're going to meet an old friend of mine," She smiled.

"Why can't we just meet for ice cream?" I asked looking around. This forest had so much chakra surging through it, it almost made me dizzy.

Mother laughed. "Not everything is about ice cream. This meeting is for your training. I thought it would be beneficial for you to meet someone your age who is extremely talented."

Extremely? I've never heard mother say that about anyone. _Talented for my age_ that's what she always called me. Whoever this person was they must be impressive for mother to think so highly of them. Should I be nervous? Mother said nothing would ever hurt me when she was around.

When we reached the clearing there were two people on the other side. "Fugaku-san," mother greeted.

I hid behind her legs. He was the head of the Leaf's military police force. Was I actually in trouble? He looked mean. His son stood beside him wearing black shirt and pants. He had long black hair. The Uchihas. I knew about them. They were the strongest clan. They possessed the sharingan. Mother wanted me to fight one of them?

"So this is the girl you found in The Land of Water, Harumi-san?" asked Fugaku.

"Yes this is," she pulled me around her and stood me in front of them. "Shikyo. Meet Fugaku and Itachi Uchiha."

I could feel my face going red. I bowed hoping it would hide my face in my hair then slipped behind mother again. They had the chakra of fire. I could feel it radiating off them. There was no water around how would I fight him? Mother wanted to test my control? I thought that's what we did with Kakashi.

"She seems timid. How old is she?" Fugaku asked.

"We think around 6. She doesn't know."

I looked at Itachi. He was pretty for a boy. He saw me peak around mother's leg and gave me a small smile. I hid again. Maybe he was nice. His fire wasn't as angry as his father's. Fugaku and mother were still talking. Itachi was two years older than me and already a genin. Mother had this much faith in me?

"Alright," Mother pushed me in front of her again. "You two are just sparring. We're trying to get an idea of Shikyo's abilities."

I walked towards Itachi. I couldn't remember the last time I faced someone around my age. In The Land of Water I mostly watched or ran away. Surviving was what was most important back then. Itachi stood with two fingers outstretched waiting for me. Was I supposed to do the same thing? I looked curiously at mother and she nodded so I copied Itachi.

"Begin."

I stared at Itachi. I thought he would make the first move but her just stared at me. Waiting. "I don't want to hurt you." He smiled.

That shocked me. "But… you're shinobi," I pointed at his headband. "That's what ninja's have to do to keep the peace."

His smile faltered and he disappeared. He's so fast! I looked everywhere around me then looked up in time to see his foot slam into my face. And I became water.

"A water clone," I heard Fugaku said.

My mother laughed. "There was a reason why I took her from The Land of the Water."

I could do another water clone and send it at Itachi and hope it'd give me an opening but that's all I would be capable of doing. Water Clone Jutsu was the only jutsu I knew. I didn't have any skills in weapons yet. There was a fifty percent chance I'd hit him with a shuriken and if he moved might as well make that zero percent.

"Fire Style: Fire Ball Jutsu," Itachi commanded.

I moved out from behind the tree. I see. This is why mother wanted me to fight the Uchiha. I closed my eyes and held my hand out. I felt the fire infused with his chakra come towards me. I told mother I didn't really control the water and fire it was more like I asked them to do what I wanted. When she saw me catch a fish in the river she asked what jutsu it was but it wasn't a jutsu. I just told the water I was hungry with my chakra and it gave me a fish.

With my chakra I asked the fire not to hurt me and to extinguish itself. I saw in my mind it fading as it went into my hand. When I opened my eyes I could see the element do as I asked. It hit my hand and went into my body. The chakra entered and I could feel Itachi's chakra infused in it. He was sad? Or was it more confused? When it ended I couldn't move. This was a drawback that I was supposed to account for. Itachi used the opportunity grabbed my hand and threw me on my back.

"You win," I breathed.

"I thought you'd be another clone," he said offering a hand.

"Very good!" my mother said as Itachi helped me up.

"How did you do that?" Itachi asked.

"I…I don't really know. I used my chakra and convinced your fire to do what I said instead of you." I rubbed the back of my head.

I saw our parents talking to each other. Fugaku was staring at me intensely. I hope I didn't do anything wrong. Mother was working on my fighting I still wasn't very good. I can dodge and use clones but aggression didn't come naturally. I still had a lot to learn.

"I didn't put up much of a fight," I said putting my face in my hands. "Mother will be disappointed. She said I was supposed to learn something here."

I formed fire in one hand and water in the other. The Land of Fire was so different from Water; there water was easier to use but here fire came naturally. I looked at Itachi as he looked at the elements in my hands and I smiled. "This is my Kekkei Genkai."

҉

I think we moved at the same time. We met kunai to kunai. My Soshigan met his Sharingan. My eyes went black and in the center was a blue snowflake. I doubt it could stand up to the Sharingan. I was not supposed to look into his eyes. Kakashi warned me nonstop about it. I saw how long it kept him in the hospital. It wasn't something I wanted.

"Is this the same Shikyo leader wanted us to find?" Kasame asked.

We jumped back at the same time kunai still out. "Shikyo of Konoha. You've made quite a reputation for yourself." Itachi said.

"Tsk, nothing compared to you Itachi," I said, still no chakra emitting from him. I could sense Kisame's huge amount of water chakra and Itachi's fire but neither were being used. The plan was to be captured. It would not be believable for me to go willingly.

"Remember don't look into his eyes," I warned my team.

"How do we fight him?" Ruka asked.

"We don't. Shikyo is probably the only one who can. We'll have to take the fish." Rayne said always with that mouth.

"These are the same two that took on Guy and Kakashi do not underestimate them," Kai warned them.

"I don't suppose you'd like to hear our invitation," Kisame said.

"What," I asked.

"The Akatsuki would like to invite you to join us," Kisame laughed. "Well it's more like our leader wants to meet you after hearing all the rumors surrounding you."

"They want Shikyo now? I thought it was just Naruto," Ruka whispered behind me.

"No worries, Ruka. If they couldn't catch Naruto how will they ever get me?" I smiled at her.

I could see the relief in her blue eyes. She pushed her blonde hair behind her ears. "Of course Shikyo. I'd never doubt you!"

"We will use force if necessary," Kisame looked at Itachi. I see. Itachi was in charge. He wouldn't make a move unless Itachi allowed it; a leader even among criminals. "…I will take Shikyo, do not let the others interfere," Itachi said stepping forward.

Tsk. Kisame was formidable. Would my team be able to handle him? I didn't want any of them injured because of me. Fire chakra.

"Fire Style: Fire Ball Jutsu."

Why? He knew this wouldn't work on me. Or did he think after all these years he could overtake me. I held out my hand and focused on the fire. I wasn't little anymore I understood my Kekkei Genkai. The elements were mine to control. The fire hit my hand and surrounded me. Smart. I held out both hands and absorbed his fire. I could see the chakra in it changing to mine and disappearing. The fire was out.

Itachi was coming at me full speed.

"Shikyo!" Rayne yelled.

"Just stay back!" I answered doing hand signs as fast as I could. "Water Style: Water Vortex."

The water went for him. His sharingan was sure to have tracked my hand signs and know what I was doing. The water hit Itachi and he turned into crows. I knew it; a clone.

My team started to scream. I looked back to see them all grabbing their temples on their knees. Ruka had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What is going on?"

"Shikyo you were supposed to protect us," Ruka said her arm outstretched.

Rayne was pulling at her brunette hair her copper eyes bleeding "He's killing us."

Kai was on the ground rolling back and forth. Blood from his ears was getting in his red hair. "Stop him."

"Genjutsu? But when?"

In a heartbeat Itachi was behind me. "Your eyes cannot see as much as mine."

I froze. Wind. I forced a gust to push through me. Where was the genjutsu? I couldn't feel his chakra at all. I pushed it farther out there had to be a weak spot. There. Release.

I gasped as the genjutsu disappeared.

"…You've improved." Itachi said.

"Shikyo?" Kai called.

"I'm fine." I responded. That took more chakra than I expected. Fine. Let's play. "Kai."

Responding faster than expected Kai threw his large shuriken at Itachi. It went through him as anticipated. The real Itachi came out of the smoke. Running at me. Got him.

"Elemental prison jutsu" I slammed my hands on the ground right in front of Itachi.

Water surrounded us. Wind froze it. Earth created a wall. Fire made it so no one could break through. The amount of chakra this jutsu demanded was hitting me but it was no time to fall to weakness.

"What is this jutsu?" Itachi asked. He was looking around the ice that we were surrounded by.

"Elemental style." I laughed. My Soshigan was still going. I needed this to work. The bigger the jutsus I used the easier it will be for them to take me. This was still my mission.

Itachi looked at me. "I see the amount of chakra used to make this. No reason to be so modest. This drained you… snowflake."

I froze. He used to call me that when we were young. We used to try to figure out what clan I could be from but no one had ever heard of a snowflake for an eye. My fists clinch. The audacity to call me by that name after all these years. After all he's done.

I gathered what chakra I had and slammed my first towards Itachi. He jumped out of the way and I caused the ice to crack where my fist hit. If I had the strength of Tsunade I had no doubt I would have shattered this dome. I swung on him again and again causing cracks as he jumped out of the way.

"You dare, after all this time, to call me by a pet name?" I asked enraged. Itachi was supposed be a friend, a comrade, a teacher instead he turned into this… demon. A monster that lacked any human feeling. Those cold eyes were still the same all these years later. Anger called more chakra than I was planning on using cracking the ice dome where I struck.

I was panting. I had to keep a clear head. The mission was my objective. Itachi used his fireball jutsu again. I didn't even notice the change in chakra of the air. I hoped this fight looked realistic. I couldn't go willingly. I had to fight like I'd rather die than willfully go with them. Itachi had aimed at a spot a really dented by my fists and the fireball broke through. He grabbed me and jumped out just as the ice and rocks started falling.

"You okay there Itachi-san?" Kisame asked.

I pushed out of itachi's arms and did a back flip in the air landing in front of my team. They were all panting and bruised. Looks like they were fighting while we were in there.

"Kisame tried to break through your jutsu so we tried to distract him," Kai said.

"I'm really in the mood for sushi. Let's get them Shikyo," Rayne laughed.

"Snowflake." I paused as he called for me. I could feel my anger take over again. "Come with us and I'll spare them, continue to fight us and we will not hold back."

He needed me alive not them. I had to be Itachi. Itachi who I looked up to so much as a child. Itachi who helped me with weapons and ninjutsu. Itachi who was always kind to me even when I had no idea what he was trying to talk to me about. Itachi who was my first friend in Konoha. Itachi who comforted me when my mother died. Itachi who betrayed us all.

"You guys, her back. We have to move now." Rayne said.

"But…" Ruka started.

"Ruka you know what she told us. Move!" Kai ordered.

The burning in my back made what they said almost unintelligible. I felt it spreading from the middle of my back to my fingertips. It was agonizing. My shirt was burning away and I felt my back explode. The phoenix rose from skin, spread its blue wings and shot itself at Itachi and Kisame. A giant explosion made my world go dark.

I felt the blue phoenix return to my back as it burned its way into my skin. It's wings following my arms ending on the back of my hand. They were still alive. Somehow. Coming for me. Stand up. If they're going to kill me I need to read their chakra. My extremities were shaking so badly but I got on one knee. I could see Itachi coming for me. I coughed blood into my hands stopping what was left of my shirt from falling off. This was bad. I didn't mean to awaken the phoenix. If they decided I was too much trouble and just decide to kill me I will have failed. I hoped my team got out of the way. They knew what to do if this were to happen.

Itachi was coming closer and closer. Focus. Did he want to kill me? I could barely see him my tunnel vision was getting more and more narrow. I could still feel the blood in the back of throat. Even if he didn't kill me the phoenix may have.

He stopped in front of me. "Enough fighting, Snowflake." He tapped my nose and I fainted. Part one complete.


	3. Holy Water

"As long as Shikyo doesn't run into Itachi Uchiha, I believe she will be okay," Shizune murmured going over documents for the Hokage.

"That's exactly the Akatsuki member she _will_ be seeing on this mission," Tsunade said looking out her window over Konoha.

Shizune's shock was palpable, "But Tsunade-sama!"

"The description of the person asking about Shikyo was a tall man with long black hair and red eyes. Now, who does that describe?" Tsunade squared her shoulders and turned around looking at Shizune. "Shikyo's mother, Harumi Hatake, kept meticulous records regarding Shikyo's upbringing. She found her in the Land of Waves at age 5 when she saw her do a Water Clone perfectly. She had no training. She was an orphan."

Tsunade pulled out a scroll from her sleeve and handed it to Shizune. "That young?"

"She started training her but once her Kekkei Genkai dojutsu appeared she wanted her to work with other dojutsu users. She initially wanted her to train with the Hyuga clan but they were too proud to allow her so she asked the Uchihas. She even wrote in her notes they only allowed it because as children she was friends with the Uchiha's clan leader." Tsunade pulled another scroll out. " _I have noticed Shikyo and Itachi becoming closer as they train together. They laugh and go out of their way to not hurt the other. Even when seeing each other around the village they will stop what they are doing to socialize. I am wondering if I will eventually need to separate them as they become more attached to the other."_

"But Itachi Uchiha could not possibly _care_ for her anymore." Shizune argued.

Tsunade smiled, "if she's anything like her mother, no man will be able to resist her."

҉

My fever dreams were of me burning alive. It always started in my back and then took over my whole body. Sometimes I wouldn't die I would be this giant scab that couldn't move and then the sharingan would be watching me waiting for me to defend myself. I'm not sure how long I was unconscious or if I woke up occasionally or not. This had happened once before; I was unconscious for two weeks and couldn't move for another two.

In the back of my mind I knew I had something I had to do but every time I came close to remembering what that was it would float away. My body was so sore. I was lying on my back with the most excruciating pain running through my whole being. Something heavy was covering my body but I still felt so cold. I felt the blood pooled in the back of my throat and I resisted the urge to cough. I had to remember what I was doing here.

"So, is she a jinchuriki?" I heard a rough voice ask.

"No, she has the ghost of a god on her back," a smooth voice answered.

How could he possibly know? My sister! Did they meet? There was no way he could have known my clan's secret jutsu to stay alive unless she told him. Every new born was presented with a feather that had been passed down for generations and on occasions the feather would chose a host. That unsuspecting child would then be a vessel for our god. It wasn't like a jinchuriki where they had the spirit locked inside them; we would have a fraction of their power stored in us to protect the clan.

Even though this was my plan from the beginning the phoenix must have sensed my adrenaline and low chakra mixed with their large reserves of chakra and tried to defend me.

"She awakes."

I rolled over and coughed up all the blood from my mouth trying to keep my long hair from my face. It was futile to pretend to sleep. He knew. That amount of movement almost made me faint. I could feel the tight skin on my back stretch as I kept coughing.

"She going to stay awake this time," Kisame was looking as me curiously.

I had one of their cloaks covering me like a blanket. I was wearing a large shirt that wasn't mine. Right, when the phoenix attacked it burned my shirt and fishnets away. I could feel the bandages wrapped around my torso. Did I bleed so much afterwards they had to patch me up? Well, if they wanted to kill me they wouldn't have wasted first aid on me. I was definitely a prisoner.

"That was a quick jutsu you used," Kisame went on. "If it wasn't for Itachi-san we wouldn't have made it."

"It wasn't a jutsu," I told him.

If I was being held against my will I would have to try to escape they had to be expecting that. It was hard enough to stay sitting and I doubted I had any chakra. We were deep in a cave the light from the outside barely lit the area. There were the remains of a burnt out fire in front of me. I was so cold the fever was tricking my body. I was sweaty and shivering. I looked at the wood. I wanted to start a fire.

"Don't."

I stopped my hand in the air. I looked at Itachi. He wasn't wearing his cloak, so it was his I had wrapped around me.

"Konoha is out there looking for you, the smoke will signal them," He continued.

That would mean Kakashi was out there. Before I left we went over what was to happen: when my team came back telling the Hokage of my capture he was to captain a team to find me. It would only make sense with his ninja hounds. I felt for his lightening. He was far away just within my limit. I sent small shock through his hand… and coughed up more blood. That was my signal to him that I was okay, but I didn't have nearly enough chakra to make that smooth. Coagulated blood was coming up as I kept coughing. That was hopefully the last of it.

The fact they were hiding from The Leaf meant one thing; I had injured them. My phoenix had hit them, even if it was just a little. Good, if I was to be valuable to the Akatsuki I needed them to know I was strong. I hoped Kakashi felt the sting. One for I'm okay, two for I need rescue.

"You're only awake because of pure determination, I'm surprised you lived. I haven't seen anyone so drained of chakra live." Itachi told me.

I looked at him. They were both siting on the other side of the campfire ring from me. His eyes were black. Whatever he did to stop me had taken enough out of him not to use his sharingan.

"They'll find me," I replied. "Kakashi won't stop until he finds me."

It was meant to come off as a threat but I was getting so tired. I slowly lay back down. My head resting on a bag; Whose I wasn't sure. I didn't have any energy. Itachi had told me the truth; I had used every ounce of chakra in my body. I was surprised I held myself up for so long. I let out a sigh something bugging me in the back of my mind.

"Why," I asked turning towards them. "Why does your leader want me?"

"He's curious about you," Kisame chuckled.

"What does that mean?"

They didn't answer me. Was it getting dark out or was my vision fading? And then I heard them. Kakashi's ninja dogs. They both froze and I felt their tension. I had to play a part. I opened my mouth to go for a scream. In an instant Itachi was beside me his hand on my mouth an unspoken warning in his eyes. He'd kill anyone who came to rescue me.

I nodded. I really did not want him to touch me. Bad enough he had dressed me, I could not imagine Kisame doing that, he did not need to be so close to me. He took his hand slowly away from my mouth. He watched me expecting it to be a ploy no doubt but I cared more for my friends than myself. This would happen if I was an unwilling prisoner as well. I had a script to follow.

"I don't want my comrades to die, I'll behave," I stated.

"We knew they'd send Kakashi. They won't find us in here. We left no tracks and besides the rain will soon wash away our smell," Kisame said.

"What rain?" I asked.

And then the rain hit. How did he know? If anyone should have sensed the rain it should've been me. My chakra was still that low? I reached out and tried to sense the dogs running over the earth but I couldn't. Was sending the signal to Kakashi all I was capable of right now?

Itachi leaned in, "Sleep and gather strength, we have a long journey a head of us."

He was still right beside me. I wanted to tell him to get away but my exhaustion stopped me and I fell asleep my blue eyes locked with his black.


	4. Hunger

Mother and I were eating our ice cream cones watching the people walk by. The sun was shining and we were celebrating. Ice cream was the first thing I ate when mother took me from The Land of Water. It's the most amazing thing I have ever had.

"I am so proud of you, my little genin." she beamed.

"Well, it was all thanks your training, mother." I laughed.

"Eight years old, ha, you'll be chunin in no time, will you still have time for me?" she asked looking sad.

My eyes went wide and I stopped mid lick of my ice cream cone, "Of course mother! Who else will take me out for ice cream?"

She laughed wrapped her arm around me and continued eating. Times like these were the best. No stress. No wondering if I was improving enough or if mother would ever come home from her missions. As we watched the people walk by I saw someone I recognized.

"Look mother," I pointed. "It's Itachi and Fugaku. Itachi-kun!" I waved him over. Both Uchihas looked at me. I saw Itachi who took a step then looked back at his father. Fugaku nodded and they both walked towards us.

"Itachi-kun look!" I showed him my new headband. "I'm a genin!"

"A genin? I didn't know she was in the academy, Harumi-san." Fugaku said.

"She wasn't. I'm very convincing," mother winked.

"Itachi-kun do you want ice cream? Its mother's treat." I laughed grabbing his hand dragging him away.

"Um, alright, if you insist," he said as I pulled him inside to the counter.

I looked back at our parents who were chatting away, "Mother is so embarrassing," I whispered covering my mouth so only he could hear.

"What why?" Itachi asked as he ordered.

"The drama!" I said overly dramatic waving my cone in my hand. "So, since I wasn't in the academy mother bursts in when all the other tests for the actual students were done and yelled 'there is one more.' She had my water clone follow her. She then had me transform and then slashed my clone with her kunai to show them the clone. Made me come out show them my dojutsu then I answered some questions and now I'm a genin."

Itachi was eating his ice cream looking at me curiously. "That was unpractical."

I paid for the ice cream as we went out to our parents. "I know! I wanted to go to the academy like a normal kid but mother had to prove something."

Itachi laughed. "Harumi-san can be a little…"

"I know." I said as we sat down. "So do you think I should wear my headband like normal?" I put the forehead protector over my forehead. "Or maybe like Kakashi?" I put it over one eye.

"That would be inconvenient," Itachi mused eating ice cream.

"Do you know who your sensei will be?" Fugaku asked me.

"No, I'm supposed meet the members of my team tomorrow," I said unsure of myself.

"You'll do great!" Mother said hugging my side again.

* * *

We were sitting on top of the academy's roof. Rayne and Ruka were whispering together while I was trying not to eavesdrop, but it was about me so it was getting hard not to do so. Our sensei was supposed to be here soon.

"Your name is actually Shikyo?" Ruka asked suspiciously.

Ruka and Rayne were both older than me by a couple years. Ruka had blonde hair with a blue and green eye. She was wearing a light blue top that showed her navel and khaki shorts. She wore her forehead protector on her arm. Rayne had dark brown hair and copper eyes. She was wearing what looked like a black sports bra and black baggy pants. She wore her hair up and wore her forehead protector the regular way.

I looked down at my form. My black tanktop was under my fishnet shirt and my black shorts made me look plain. They were so beautiful compared to me. They didn't even look like they tried.

"Yeah, it's what I've always been called." I told her.

"That's kinda fucked up," Rayne said.

"Rayne be nice! She's only eight." Ruka scolded.

"We're ten, what's your point?" Rayne shot back.

So they were younger than the usual graduates. How talented were they?

In a puff of smoke our sensei appeared. She wore a black kimono with long slits going to her hips. She had fishnet shorts that went to her mid-thigh. She wore her forehead protector on her forehead with her white hair braided back.

 _Mother_?

"Hey!" she smiled. "My name is Harumi Hatake and I'll be your sensei."

My mouth dropped. She never told me this?! Was this allowed?

"You're her mom!" Rayne said pointing accusingly at me. "That's not fair you'll favor her."

I felt myself go red. Was she right? Mother was a great teacher she could teach all of us. She taught me everything the academy would and more. I don't think it would be a problem.

"One of the first rules in being a shinobi is to not show emotions." Mother said seriously. "While we are a team you will all be my students and treated equally."

Rayne was muttering under her breathe and Ruka was trying to calm her. She had a quick temper. Must be her electric chakra nature.

"Alright, let's get the introductions out of way, like I said I am Harumi Hatake. Now tell me about yourselves and why you all want to become a shinobi." She pointed at Ruka.

Ruka smiled big. "I am Ruka Sato. I want to become a medical ninjutsu master and either be a doctor or a veterinarian. I've been helping injured animals since I was little. My mom is a doctor and she's been teaching me the basics."

Harumi- sensei, as I was now going to think of her, pointed at Rayne. "My name is Rayne Hayashi. I want to be a shinibi because I want to track down my bastard father and beat the shit out of him."

"Rayne!" Ruka reprimanded. "Sorry Harumi-sensei she has no filter."

"I also won't apologize for saying what's on my mind." She said with a challenge in her eye.

"This is about getting to know each other. I don't care how you choose to present yourself as long as it's who you are." Harumi told us. She then pointed at me.

"I'm Shikyo. I was born in The Land of Water. I came here when I was 5. I want to be a shinobi to protect those who are important to me; my family and this land. That's what I hold the most treasured."

"So we made this squad all kunoichi for a reason. You three were the most skilled for your year. We will be going under cover and breaking up an underground society that sells girls to be wives and slaves."

"You mean we'll have to be whores?" Rayne asked.

"No, nothing like that will happen. You don't have to accept this I want you all to remember that. We will be going under cover, I, as a Madam, and you will be my girls to sell. This has been a growing problem for the past years and up until now we have not had young enough children to help us."

"Why not just transform?" Ruka asked.

"Don't you think these people haven't gone to every means necessary to make sure that won't happen? We need actual young girls." Harumi explained. I raised my hand, she nodded at me.

"When I was little in The Land of Water there was this older girl that would take care of a lot of the orphans. One day a man came and told her she would never be hungry again if she came to live with him. We were always hungry so she went with him and no one blamed her. We all would too. One day she came back, I thought she was just fat but she was pregnant. She told me how she eats every day and was never hungry. Only, she was bruised everywhere. She said she was willing to take the beatings and pain. She said once her baby was born she would give him more if it meant never returning to the streets. She was maybe 10. I heard she died giving birth and the man could have saved her but she did was he needed of her. Will we be stopping men like this Harumi-sensei?"

"Yes, Shikyo, men exactly like that." She said softly.

"Then I'm in." I said looking determined.

Rayne and Ruka nodded at each other. "Us too."

҉

We had been walking for two days. They never stopped to rest once. I think if this was their way to make it so I wouldn't be able to regenerate enough chakra they were right. I could barely keep moving. My back was stiff and if it looked anything like my arms did the skin around the phoenix was black. The phoenix stood out a bright blue then the surrounding tissue went either a deathly pale white or black. I had unwrapped a little of the bandages to look and it made me so dizzy I had to wrap them back up.

Itachi and Kisame never said a word. I had asked for a break twice. I even fell over but the look I got was either get up and walk or die. I could not believe how utterly helpless I was. If they threw a kunai at me I don't know if I would have the strength to stop it. I was almost at my breaking point. I was starving. I had no energy. If they didn't let me rest soon I would die. I almost welcomed it. I had not stopped coughing up blood. I think I had internal bleeding. I wasn't Ruka. My medical ninjutsu was mediocre at best. Sure, I could heal a scratch or two but serious wounds or infections I wouldn't even know where to start.

We had reached a clearing with a lake. I needed a bath. My fever still wasn't gone. I was drenched in sweat. My clothes were tattered. The bandages badly needed to be cleaned; pus, blood, sweat and dirt coated them.

"We'll stop here," I heard Itachi say.

I dropped to my knees panting. I looked at the water. I was so thirsty. I could feel myself just losing myself in it. Slowly getting up I walked along the dock. I was focused on the water. If anything, drowning wasn't the worst way to die. I dropped into the lake.

The cool water gave me a burst of energy I so desperately needed. I took off the baggy shirt, my pants and sandals pushing them to the surface. I unwound the bandaged from my arms and torso. The burn stung intensely in the water. I couldn't tell if it was infected or not. Would the phoenix let its host get an infection? I've been sick before so I guess it was plausible.

I scrubbed my body clean. The water was restoring my strength. Mother always said a good bath was all you needed to feel better. I shot to the surface of the water and took in air. I grabbed my shirt, pants and shoes and threw them on the dock. When I looked to the shore for Kisame or Itachi they were nowhere to be seen. Maybe they went for firewood or food. It wasn't my concern right now. I scrubbed my scalp; my waist length hair flowing around me. Hopefully this would help all the tangles I got the last few days.

I heard walking on the dock. I looked up to see Itachi sit down on the edge one foot hanging over towards the water. He wasn't using his sharingan but he was staring at me. I turned my back to him content in cleaning off the grunge I had acquired these last days.

"…You should let me treat your burn," I heard him say.

"Tsk, I'm fine," I said over my shoulder.

"Shikyo," I tensed when he said my name. "You have third degree burns all over your upper body and what little chakra you do have is going straight to healing it."

Is that what his sharingan showed him? That would explain why I felt so completely drained. I swam over to him and looked up. He was staring at me but it was almost as if he wasn't really looking at me but seeing through me.

"I can see your infection is spreading from here." He said simply.

Tsk. Men. I focused on the water. Using a little chakra I lifted my body out of the water onto the dock behind Itachi. My clothes were still damp but at least they looked clean. I focused on the water molecules in the clothes and lifted them out and back into the lake. Alright, that was enough chakra for today. I put my pants and sandals on. As I was about to put my shirt on Itachi stopped me. With light fingers I felt him trace my scorched skin. I grimaced at his touch but I stood unmoving.

I didn't have a problem with nudity. A body was something, I felt, you didn't need to be ashamed of, but, men got a sick satisfaction from the female form. I didn't see Itachi to be that kind of man but he was just a man after all. Starting at my hips he quickly started wrapping my waist. I sighed I guess I had no choice in this.

"Your infection will need medicine soon," he murmured in my ear.

I stiffened. Why was he so concerned? I could sense Kisame coming back. That swim really did help right my head. Or maybe it lowered my fever. My hair was still wet and the sun was setting. The cold must be it. I turned around towards Itachi. I raised my arms up my shirt in one hand. I'll just blame this on the fever if anyone asks.

"Just hurry and not so tight I need to breathe." I said. He had frozen right under my breasts for a second. Did he think I wouldn't notice the hesitation? Heh, he _was_ only just a man.

Kisame had made a fire and was cooking actual food when we walked over. My upper torso was all bandaged up both arms included.

"You're going to use all our bandages by the time we reach the Leader." Kisame said as Itachi and I sat down.

During my fever I had not been paying attention to the way we were going. My team and I had been heading to a small village between the Land of Fire and The Land of Water. It was a fake mission but it had taken us a day to meet up with them. Now I could see we were heading in the opposite direction. We went around Konoha and were on our way to… the Land of Rivers maybe?

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"You'll see." Kisame laughed. He handed me a bowl of some kind of soup. I ate without eating. I just wanted food. "What kind of name is Shikyo anyway?"

I finished my bowl and thought it over. This wasn't that much of a secret. I did need to try to escape soon. I'll make an attempt tomorrow. It'd be more convincing if I had more energy.

"When I was born, the phoenix chose me as a host. I'm not sure what happened maybe someone tried to kill me but the phoenix protected me and killed the threat. Along with what was left of my dying clan besides my sister who was sent off grounds. She found me in the wreckage and named me 'Death.' Some sick joke." I said still wanting more food. I looked at him through the corner of my eye. He had a blood thirsty aura especially that blade of his.

"There was a swordsman named Jiro. He was killed by someone who called themselves death," Kisame mused.

I looked at Itachi. Did he know? He must I told him my intentions. "I killed him."

He barked out a laugh. "That was almost ten years ago. Imagine one of my brothers being killed by a cute little girl." He laughed louder.

I couldn't tell if he was mocking me, "What are you? Some science experiment gone wrong?" I pointed at my skin as in reference to his blueish shade.

Kisame lowered his head in…shame? "I am a strange colour."

I laughed. This guy was wild. "Did I hurt your feelings, Shark Man?"

He looked up at me his eyes changed. No more sulking back to his original blood thirsty demeanor. This is what he always was. Always ready to fight. Blood mist chakra. That's what he had.

"Itachi-san said I couldn't kill you, but maybe I can cut out your tongue."

My adrenaline spiked. His chakra was out of this world and I had no doubt if he wanted to he'd do just as he threatened. My Soshigan instinctively activated. I wonder how much chakra I had.

He moved at me. I raised my hand and created a wall of fire between us. Creating fire would have been hard in my state but luckily we had a campfire now. If need be I could use the lake too.

"What?" he had stopped in front of me.

"She controls the elements, Kisame." Itachi said his eyes closed.

I focused on Kisame. Maybe this would take more chakra than I had but I had to make it look like I wanted to escape. I used all my might and concentrated on the water in his body. Humans are about 60% water I think he was more around 70. Focusing I took control. I made him grab for his blade and…

I felt my eyes and ears bleed as I dropped to the ground. I did not have enough chakra to control his water molecules especially if he was resisting me. I panted and saw Itachi watching me. Kisame looked confused. Going for his sword would be something he would do but I could tell his didn't think he was actually in control of that movement.

Itachi appeared in front of me. "Whatever that was do not try it again." His sharingan was staring me down. "… I will not be made a fool of."

His voice was so far off. Genjutsu! But it was too late. My head was already hitting the ground.


	5. I Think I'm Breaking

I stared at the water. I had to really concentrate this was so hard but we were all hungry. The two little kids behind me were skin and bones.

"Hurry up, Shi," a little girl demanded.

I glanced at her, she was my age maybe. It was hard to tell. She and her brother were wearing rags. The older girl had given me a blue shirt and black pants the last time she came by, but I heard she died because of the baby in her belly.

"Let me focus," I shushed. Her brother slapped a hand over her mouth and nodded at me.

I looked back at the water. I could feel the current and the fish. They were fast but I just had to grab one. I raised my hand. A ball of water with a fish floated out of the river. I sighed I caught it. I moved my arms towards the sibling and the water followed. Letting my arm drop the water splashed down and the fish landed in their arms.

"Your eyes are doing that weird thing again," the boy said concerned. "Thank you!" they ran off.

"But…" I thought we could eat the fish together. I was hungry too. They had each other but I was alone. Could I grab another out of the water? It might easier this time. I felt for another fish. _Please, river, I'm so hungry._

I looked up and a fish was floating towards me. Thank the Gods. I reached out I could see the swirls of colors in the water. It's power. My hands showed the same power. This is what my eyes showed me.

"What in the world?"

I froze. The fish dropped on ground and the water splashed me. I looked behind me to see a shinobi with white hair wearing an all blue body suit and a green vest. It wasn't my land's symbol she wore on her forehead.

What do I do? I could be punished. Everyone told me if any shinobi's saw me do this they'll hurt me. I gasped. I felt my eyes return to their normal solid blue. I took a step back. I had to escape.

"Wait," she called but I ran.

I went into the forest and made a water clone. I sent it ahead of me and hid in a bush. She wouldn't expect that right? I hoped she underestimated me.

"That water clone is impressive, a perfect duplicate, where did you learn it?" she was right beside me.

I wanted to cry. I was going to be in so much trouble. I was shaking. Was this how I died?

"I'm not going to hurt you," she smiled at me. "You look hungry." She reached into the bag on her hip and handed me what looked like some kind of meat.

I looked at her suspiciously crawling out of the bush. Was this a trick? Why was she being so nice? Was the food poisoned? I swiped it out of her hand before I could talk myself out of it. I was starving and it smelled so good.

"What's your name, child?" she asked.

"What's yours?" I shot back and I pointed at her forehead. "What village are you from?"

"I am Harumi Hatake of Konohagakure. Where are your parents…"She trailed, I still haven't told her my name.

"Shikyo. I don't have parents." I said between bites. The meat was tough but food was food.

She gave a small smile. "Come with me Shikyo-chan. It's getting dark out we can eat dinner together."

I looked at her skeptically. She seemed nice but shinobi could hide everything. They hurt people. Did she want to hurt me? I thought about the older girl who left for food. She said it was worth the pain. I guess being full wouldn't make it so bad.

I followed her to her campsite. We were far from the closest village but I thought she'd stay at an inn or something. She had something cooking in a pot above her fire. She was sitting on a stump stirring the pot. She reached into a box she had by the fire and pulled out a something white.

"Here," She smiled again. I looked at while taking it in my hands. I sniffed it but it didn't really smell like anything. "You eat it."

I took a giant bite. It didn't really taste like much either but I wasn't complaining. I ate the whole thing in two seconds. I wonder how much food she'll share. Should I keep some for later?

"So, Shikyo-chan what jutsu were you using at the river?" she asked me.

She did want my power. I looked down at my hands. "I asked the river for food." I shrugged. "I was hungry."

"And the water clone. Who taught you that?" she asked.

"Um…" was I in trouble? I thought she was nice. I could feel my eyes tearing up. I didn't do anything wrong!

"Hey, it's okay," she patted my back. She pulled out a bowl and put the stew in it and handed it to me. "You're not in trouble, here, eat."

I wasn't sure what was in the stew but it was good and warm. Which was nice since the sun was setting. I wasn't sure where I'd be sleeping tonight. I was following the river when I met up with the siblings. A lot of the kids around here knew I could occasionally catch a fish but that's the only time they were nice to me.

"Shikyo-chan," Harumi looked at me. "What will you do?"

I stopped mid-bite. What would I do? I didn't understand the question. I was probably going to find a nice place to sleep and then repeat. I had finished the bowl and Harumi filled it again.

"How would you like to come with me?" she asked me.

I froze. She wanted to take me? "Why?"

She smiled. "I have been thinking of having a child but the whole process takes time and here you are; a parentless child who needs my help and you have a power in you. I can feel it. You're so young I wouldn't want someone to hurt you for it. I can help you, and shape you into a powerful shinobi."

I never thought about being a shinobi. They were strong scary adults who kept the land safe. I guess it would be nice to have a purpose in life. It was getting harder and harder to go on.

"What if…what if I'm not capable?" I asked slowly. I was so full but I wanted to keep eating. I hadn't eaten like this in a long time.

Harumi laughed. "I like you Shikyo-chan. You have an old soul for someone so young. If it turns out shinobi life is not for you I will not be mad. It is a hard life and not everyone is made for it. I still believe you have talent and I want to help you. If you come with me you will have choices."

I have never met such a nice adult. I felt my eyes tearing up again but this time I didn't try to hide it. I never had parents. Was this what love was supposed to be like?

"Okay," I hiccupped. I felt so tired. The warm stew and full belly were setting in.

"I'm very glad Shikyo. I believe you are a splendid person and that will follow you as you grow. I hope you will allow me to be there to witness it."

҉

I sensed his chakra before I woke. The vast amount that was in my area stirred me. My senses were coming back. I guess I was finally regaining my energy. I knew it was Kisame before I opened my eyes. It was like when I first ran into them. It made my adrenaline spike.

When I opened my eyes I saw it was right before sunrise. Kisame was asleep on the other side of the burnt out fire. I sat up and saw Itachi sitting on the dock overlooking the lake. I had his cloak over me again. Itachi was wearing a dark t-shirt and dark pants. I could see his long ponytail from here. I got up and dusted myself off. Walking over I sat down next to him and handed him his cloak.

We sat in silence for a moment. I'm not sure what I was thinking but I wanted to talk to him now that I wasn't so cranky from exhaustion. I kept thinking of when we were young and then reminding myself that this was not my friend anymore. This wasn't… Itachi. And it made me so angry. I felt so betrayed. This was the first friend I made in a new land. He would come visit me randomly and we would spend a day training or just talking.

I think I loved him as a child. I was _in love_ with him but it wasn't the obsessive love I saw girls get with him. I just saw us always being in each other's lives. If that meant friends or lovers; I don't think I ever thought that hard about it. We could go months without seeing each other and there he would be. My friend who would listen to me. Who helped me learn to control wind. And when my mother died he was there, but when I came back to the village he was known as Itachi Clan Killer.

"I checked up on Sasuke, for you." I don't know what compelled me to say that. I saw his whole body tense for a millisecond but he didn't respond.

"…He is still not strong enough," he said dismissively.

He's a child that ran to Orochimaru. He is a child looking for revenge against you. He thought he had no choice but Orochimaru. Kakashi and I had talked over the situation many times. Sasuke was now a rouge ninja. Naruto and Sakura could try all they wanted but unless Sasuke wanted to return I did not believe they could convince him.

"When did you master all the elements?" he asked.

I looked at him from the corner of my eye. I had not used lightening in front of him I thought. I felt my Soshigan activate. I could see all the chakra surrounding us from the lake. Everything gave off its own chakra and I could see it all. I held my hand up and a small ball of water came up from the lake. Using my own chakra and sent a shockwave through it making the electricity visible. I blew a gust from my mouth and the ball became ice. Then using my other hand I sent heat out and melted the ice to water and let it drop into the lake. He's seen my earth control no reason to prove it.

"I had them all mastered by 13," I told him.

"…and what you did with Kasame?"

I wasn't about to tell him all my secrets. I looked at his face for the first time. His onyx eyes were staring at me and he looked so much older from when we were children. He was still handsome. I couldn't deny it but there was this aura he gave off that wouldn't let me let my guard down. I…wanted my friend back I realized. I wanted to see the boy in the man. But he was buried too deep down.

I started to stand up but Itachi stopped me. He placed a hand on my shoulder. I felt my heart race but not from fear. He continued to stare at me and I felt my anxiety rise. What did he want? I could feel myself trying to think of something _anything_ to break the tension.

"…Shikyo." His face was emotionless.

"What?" I asked but he wouldn't say anything. I pulled my legs up to my chest and looked out at the lake. The wind was blowing both our hair around. It wasn't my wind it was naturally occurring. "This spot reminds me of when we were kids."

I had to sell this. I had to find one emotion in him. I was trained when I first became a genin on how to read people; little involuntary expressions that no one could stop: Pupil dilation, increased pulse, or twitches. I could see them. I would know.

"Itachi, why?" I let my voice crack and I looked at him with wide eyes, my hair blowing around. Would he buy this? "Why does the Akatsuki want me?"

There I saw it. It was subtle, almost nonexistent, but I saw the confusion. He thought I would ask about the massacre but if I was being honest I didn't want to know. This, I was actually curious about. I caught him off guard. I could still do this.

Itachi stood up putting his cloak on, "you'll find out tonight."

Well I actually got information out of him. When Itachi had left the dock I finally let out the cough that was tickling the back of my throat. I saw blood in my hand. I still had some kind of internal bleeding and I didn't think I'd be seeing a doctor anytime soon. I pulled water up from the lake and swished water through my mouth. I spat the red liquid out.

"Shikyo," I was summoned.

I was walking up to Itachi and Kisame when I heard Itachi said 'only half.' Kisame lunged at me. I jumped back surprised. He wanted half my chakra! Kisame swung samehada at me as I landed. Activating my soshigan I swung my hand in front of me and the lake water created a barrier between us.

"What are you doing?" I yelled as I jumped back as samehada made its way through the water. I put enough room between us. "Shadow Clone Jutsu." I made 4 clones. Each I gave a different nature chakra leaving only one for me. How good are your eyes Itachi?

We scattered. Alright, escape attempt. This wasn't what I was planning but this would work. I didn't even have half my chakra right now. Half of that, I would be so fatigued I doubt I would make it to wherever they wanted, but I don't think I could stop them. Sure, I'm feeling better, but I had a long way to go before I'd be back at 100.

I was slammed into a tree by a hand around my neck. I gasped for air as I looked into the sharingan. Did he think I would not try to flee? That I would willingly let them take me? Why did he look so agitated? He had to see this coming.

"Itachi… I know it's been years…but you'd have to have known… I'd run," I said wheezing for what little air I could take in.

"You…are becoming troublesome," he said glaring at me his hand still around my throat.

"How did you know which one was me," I asked I was holding his wrist. I didn't make much of a difference. I was barely getting in any air.

He didn't answer me. I could feel my face turning red as I tried to inhale air. His grip was tightening. Did he want me to pass out? Why not use genjutsu? Did he enjoy this power play? He was leaning his body against mine. His weight added to his hold on me made it almost impossible to breathe. I could feel the blood building up in my throat.

Just as I felt my vision darken he released his grip on me. "How can you be so different yet still the same all these years later?"

I fell to my knees one hand clutching my neck. I saw red specks as I coughed trying to breathe in as much air as I could. I didn't understand the question he asked? How did I grow up? How did I change? What do I say? Death? Isolation? Puberty? That last one might get me killed. I looked up at him. I felt the blood on my lips. What a sight I must be. One by one I felt my shadow clones disappear. He didn't even chase them. How did he know this one was me? I swore using only elemental chakra would confuse the sharingan.

"Come, try to escape again and I will let Kisame take a leg," he said simply as he walked away.

I coughed more and a giant blood clot came out. I was shaking. What happened to feeling better? I saw Itachi bend down in front of me. I tried to stand but he put one hand on my shoulder stopping me and the other on my forehead; like I was a child with a fever. He reached into his cloak and pulled out a vial.

"Drink this," he was helping me to my feet.

"What is it?" I asked looking at it in my hand.

Itachi didn't answer as he walked away. Well, I was dead regardless. I opened the top and drank it all in one gulp. The bitter medicine made me wince. Why did he want me to feel better? I guess I couldn't die before I met with their leader. I had no choice but to follow him. I wonder if I would ever have all my strength back. I couldn't possibly hope to defeat Itachi even fully recovered. This was turning into a suicide mission. I think the Hokage had too much faith in me.

As we met up with Kisame he gave me nasty glare. I was not in the mood.

"What?" I snapped as we started walking.

"I still think we should take a leg from you, girl." He said.

"I should've let Rayne eat you," I spat back.

"Rayne?" he asked. "Which one was that?"

"Brown hair with a giant mouth," I said rolling my eyes. I loved Rayne but she always said what she wanted how she wanted.

"Oh her," Kisame laughed. "When you trapped Itachi-san inside that dome with you…she had some colorful things to say."

I could only imagine what Rayne would say and then Ruka would yell at her meanwhile Kai would be trying to keep his distance. Poor Kai, we three girls made his life so difficult. I blamed Rayne she had this rivalry built up in her mind about us. I always thought we were on two different paths. Her skills were different than mine. I didn't feel superior to her. I sucked at genjutsu and she was amazing. She tried teaching me but I just didn't get it.

"I think it had something to do with having a baby," Kisame mused out loud.

"It's always been babies with her since she turned 16," I muttered making him laugh harder.

* * *

We had walked all damn day. That Medicine Itachi gave me helped for a while but I could tell my fever was coming back and I had the cold sweats. Besides the occasional snide remarks between Kisame and I the walk was quiet. I was actually starting to like Kisame even though I wouldn't tell him. His cynicism was starting to grow on me.

Occasionally Kisame would scout ahead leaving Itachi and I alone. The awkwardness I felt around him was ridiculous. I almost felt like Ruka and just wanted to ramble on the entire time. All my self-control I had stopped me from making such a fool of myself.

I wouldn't even know what to talk about. I thought about Kai who was quiet but would talk to us just not small talk. Should I ask him what he's been up to for seven years? Did I want to know? What if he asked me? I wouldn't even know where to start.

The sun was setting. I was starting to shiver I wasn't sure if it was the fever or if the rain I felt in front of us that made it cold.

"The Village Hidden in the Rain?" I asked. I'd never been but heard it was almost impossible to get in.

When we got to the edge of the rain Itachi and Kisame put their hats on. Must be nice! I activated my soshigan. I hesitated. The rain was not right. There was something strange about it that I couldn't quite figure out. When Itachi and Kisame entered and nothing happened I followed. I didn't let the rain touch me. Using my chakra I created a barrier. I didn't need to catch a cold.

When we reached the edge of the city the gate was open. The two guards didn't even look at us as we entered. Was this genjutsu? I heard it was impossible to get into the village especially someone like me who, I'm sure, was a surprise. The sun was set and the last people were running back and forth barley paying attention to us.

There is something the same about all villages. The people that live their lives. Going about their business. Children running through the streets. They were all the same yet so different. The further we got into the city the more obvious the chakra infused rain was. I wasn't letting any of it touch me would whoever cast it still know I was here. Itachi and Kisame didn't seem to care.

We had reached the tallest tower in the village. I followed the two Akatsuki members in. The amount of chakra I felt as I entered was overwhelming. I was getting used to Kisame's but there were many people here with unbelievably strong chakras. At least 6 from what I could tell.

We reached the very top. It was dark but we were here I could tell. All the chakras were in this area.

"You found her," an orange hair man with a face full of piercings said.

The room was dimly lit. There were 5 males and 1 female. All the high amount of chakras and different natures were confusing my fevered mind. The room was swaying. It was making me dizzy. All this power. I was sweating. Panting. Anxiety rushed through my body. I was not prepared for this at all.

"She put up a good fight. Managed to injure both of us," Kisame said with a grin.

The orange man starred at me with his strange eyes. There was something so strange about them yet so familiar, like I should know what they are, where they're from.

"Show me her power,"

We all entered Itachi's genjutsu. I saw myself with Rayne, Ruka, and Kai. It almost shocked me to see their scared faces. I understood why. The blue flames were coming from my back. My eyes were entirely bright blue. My black hair normally in a ponytail turned to blue fire. My arms spread wide and the phoenix exploded from me in blood and fire. I never saw what it looked like. Just the tattoo on my back. It was a gorgeous creature but I could feel the fear it would strike. The explosion was blinding. Itachi didn't show how he survived it or the phoenix's return. I could see my wild hair over my face as I tried to stand up. The ashes of my shirt were barely covering me. The next scene was me sitting on dock. My soshigan activated. I was showing itachi my control of the elements. He didn't show what I had done to Kisame, why?

"She's a Jinchuriki?" a blonde man with blue eyes asked.

"No, it's a God not a demon within in her," a familiar female voice said.

My soshigan activated instinctually. I turned to see her. Her black hair was short now. Her soshigan, the sign of lightening, stared at me. How did I not sense her?

"Sister," I hissed.

"Hello, Shikyo."


	6. High As Hope

I was practicing wind or at least trying. I was getting it around 75% of the time now. It's been about a year since I last practiced for a long time. Trying sporadically throughout the years hasn't improved my skills. I was using mother's wind cyclone jutsu to make this wind go through the training area. As the wind passed through I'd try to control it using my soshigan to move it in a different direction.

Sometime it worked. Sometimes nothing happened. Unlike fire and water which seemed to come naturally wind was taking time. I had fire and water mastered by age 8. I'm 11 now and I was still struggling with wind. I could use wind jutsus just fine but controlling the actual element was another thing. Kakashi had inadvertently taught me chidori. I had no idea how to create lightening. He told me to focus on wind and then when the time came he'd help me with lightening.

I was sweating and panting but I was making progress. Slowly. It was frustrating. I wasn't used to training this hard.

"Shikyo," Kakashi appeared in front of me.

"Hey, Kakashi," I said. Things were always a little awkward between us. I never thought he liked me, he just put up with my presence. "I'm almost done with wind. I can feel it."

"Shikyo, I need to tell you something… about Harumi," he started.

"She should be back soon," I smiled. "I want to master wind by the time she gets home." There was something odd about him but I didn't want to see it. I wanted to master wind. Make mother proud.

I turned my back to him and raised my hands feeling the wind. "Shikyo," he turned me face to face. "Shikyo listen to me. Harumi… she isn't coming back."

I looked at him quizzically. That didn't make any sense of course mother would come home. We'd go out for ice cream like we always did after a mission. She'd tell me dramatic stories and I'd laugh. It was what we always did. "But I have to master wind for her."

"I'm sorry Shikyo, she died."

My world stopped. The wind stopped blowing. This couldn't be right. Mother couldn't die. I needed her. I needed her more than I could say. She was everything to me. My reason to be alive. To make her proud. "B-but she can't die."

I sank to me knees. Kakashi was trying to speak to me but I couldn't hear him. Nothing made sense. I couldn't believe it. This pain I felt was overwhelming. It was consuming me. I screamed and the world disappeared.

* * *

I awoke in the hospital. The white room and stench of cleaning supplies hit my senses. I couldn't move my body was in so much pain. Did I almost die? And then I remembered mother died. I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

"Shikyo?" it was Kakashi. He was sitting in a chair by the bed a book in his hand.

"Ka…" my voice gave out.

"Don't speak," he told me. "Before the doctors come in. we need to talk about what happened. I told them you were struck by lightning. Shikyo, something happened."

I stared at him. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I couldn't remember anything. Him telling me about mother and the pain so much pain I wanted to die. I thought about mother. I still do.

The doctors came in and tried talking to me. I didn't hear them. I couldn't see them. I was numb. What was the point of going on now? My body wouldn't move. I might as well die here.

My nights I dreamt of fire. When I would wake I'd expect to see someone and no one would be there. I was getting my legs to work faster than my arms. They were so stiff with burns I could barely move them.

Ruka and Rayne had come to visit. Ruka cried and blubbered the whole time. Rayne just told me to get out of bed. I thanked her for that.

The funeral was the day I could actually walk. People I knew and didn't know showed up. I wanted to cry. I wanted so badly to scream my pain but I stood still next to Kakashi.

When we got back to our home I immediately started packing my things.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kakashi asked from my door way.

"I don't want to be a burden to you, I'll leave. Find a new home." I answered him.

"Shikyo, do you know what Harumi told me before she left?" he asked.

I froze still stuffing a bag with clothes, "What?"

"She told me to take care of you while she's gone. She told me that before every mission."

I felt my lip quiver. A lump formed in the back of my throat. I finished packing and tried to walk past Kakashi but he put his arm up.

"I intend to keep my promise to my sister."

"N-no, I'll be okay on my own." I protested. I felt tears slipping from my eyes. "I know you never wanted me h-here. I'll find a new path."

Kakashi looked right into my eyes. "If that were true, I would have never gotten you gifts, I would have never allowed you to use one of my ninken, and I would have never let you stay here. Shikyo, you just lost your mother you're allowed to grieve."

I felt the tears streaming down my face. "What am I supposed to do Kakashi?" I fell to my knees. "How do-do I go on without h-her?" I was crying. Crying so hard my whole body shook.

Kakashi put his hand on my shoulder. "Shikyo, stay."

"I-I-I will avenge her!" I yelled wiping my tears. "It's my duty as her child."

* * *

I was standing the in training grounds where the accident happened. I couldn't sense any residual chakra in the earth. It had been a month. I guess I was hoping for something to tell me what exactly happened.

Kakashi had tried to show me but I couldn't make sense of it. It was like a burst of fire exploded out of me, but it was blue. I had tried to make the fire I create blue but I couldn't. I was amazed Kakashi got out of the way in time. Someone had come and healed the land. There was no evidence I had done anything.

I felt his fire before I saw him, "Hello Itachi-kun." I turned to see his small smile.

"How are you Shikyo?" he asked.

"I'm leaving," I told him. "I'm going to track down who killed her."

"Shikyo."

I cut him off. "I know I'm only a chunin and she was a jonin. I know I'm not as strong as her but I need to do this, for her." I could feel my throat closing up again and the tears were threatening to come. I hid my face in my hands. "I'm sorry."

Itachi wrapped his arms around me. The shock almost made me stop crying. I don't think he has ever hugged me. I have a picture of us as children our arms over each other's shoulder that was as close we've ever come to a hug.

"My mother wanted me to tell you that Harumi-san loved you more than anything. She was very proud. I could see it every time she looked at you." Itachi whispered in my ear.

I think he broke me. I could feel my legs give out as he slowly let me sink to my knees. I clung to him. And I cried all the tears I've been holding back for the past month. "Itachi, what do I do now? How do I be strong for her when all I want to do is never wake again?"

He didn't answer me he just let me cry. And I cried for a long time. I was such a mess I couldn't keep any of my emotions under control. Kakashi said I was a child grieving for a parent that I needed time but what I needed was vengeance on the man who took her from me. I could hear mother telling me she wasn't going to deal with my "hormonal mood swings" and to get it together but I didn't know how.

"All I ever wanted to do was make her proud. I just became a chunin. She'll never see me become a jonin. She won't be here anymore to give me advice. She's going to miss everything!" I sobbed into his shoulder.

I pushed away from him wiping my eyes clean. I had to control myself. "I'm sorry Itachi-kun. A shinobi mustn't show tears."

"Shikyo, you can cry. It's just you and me here. You don't have to be a shinobi right now. You can just be a girl who lost her mom." Itachi wiped a tear from my eye. How can he be so kind? Is it because he knows loss as well? Shisui was so important to Itachi. I had met him once and he was so kind. I had spoken to him once since it happened and he wouldn't speak of it. Since Itachi had joined the anbu we had barely seen each other and when we did… he was different. I guess this is what growing up is. We don't stay the same forever.

"I felt you when I was in the hospital, why didn't you visit?" I asked. The fire dreams they were him. I wasn't sure at the time but now being near him. It was the same.

"I…wasn't sure what to say," he answered looking to the side.

I had to go soon. Night was coming and I wanted to leave when no one would notice. I was grateful to Itachi for his comfort but I needed to do this. She was killed in my birthplace. I would find him. I would kill him. And maybe find some answers for myself. If Konoha still wanted me I would return. Mother said she would die for the village and I will do the same.

"Are you here as anbu or as a friend, Itachi?" I asked. If it was anbu and he wanted to stop me, he would. I was no match for him. I never had been.

He didn't answer me; he just looked at me with sad eyes. When did he become so sad? Have I missed something over the years? Even his chakra felt different. There was a power in him. When did he leave me so far behind?

"I must leave, thank you Itachi-kun, for your words and all the lessons over the years." I tapped his nose and took off. I didn't know at the time but I wouldn't see Itachi for a long time.

* * *

I was bloody, panting, and probably on the verge of death if I was being honest. I had tracked him down. The swordsman of the mist, Jiro. I could barely keep up with him. A part of me wondered if I went on this as a suicide mission. If I didn't kill him for my mother at least I would see her again.

My soshigan was swirling in my eyes and that's when I saw it. The water all humans are made of. I don't know what made it click in my head. If my soshigan actually showed me or I somehow remembered it form a lesson long ago. So I focused. And I saw it. I saw the blood moving through his body. Could sense the chakra that flowed through him. And I stopped it. He froze. Not understanding what happened. And then fell over. I had to hold it. If no oxygen got to his brain he'd die in less than 5 minutes. I had to keep the hold. My eyes burned and I could feel blood dripping down my nose.

When it was over and he would no longer move I deactivated my soshigan. I rubbed my eye trying to get the stinging to stop and I saw blood on my hand. Whatever power this was it took its toll on my body.

"Impressive, when did you learn that?" I heard a voice say. I turned and saw a girl with long black hair and green eyes. She looked familiar but I wasn't sure from where. "It's been a long time, Shikyo-chan."

The girl who was taken to be a wife. I thought she had died. This was before mother had found me. She helped take care of me. How was she here now?

"Akari? But you were dead," I was shocked.

She laughed. "Dear sister, I would never leave you."

 _Sister?_

 _҉_

Akari stared at me with her lightening soshigan while my snow soshigan stared back. She was born in a thunderstorm while I was born in a snowstorm. Our eyes showed our history. It showed we were from a dead clan. She wanted so badly to restore it. We were to be the mothers of the new clan. That's all she wanted from me. My fertility. How many children did she have now? I was such a disappointment to her.

"When did you learn to use the elements without your dojutsu?" she asked me.

I smirked. This was something I tried to hide. I didn't need my eyes for the elements. Did she not know true power of our dojutsu? "I am the master of the elements. They are mine." I moved towards her but Itachi appeared in front of me. Was this a challenge? Why stop me I could easily take my sister. Sick or not. If she thought her control was stronger than mine she was mistaken. I created a wind current in the room.

Every element has a special power. Water: I could control someone's blood. Wind? I smirked. I became wind. I disappeared. Being wind I didn't have a physical body. I didn't have any of the five senses either. I could feel the people in the room but I couldn't see them. It took a long time to control this. Kakashi had watched me with his sharingan. He said he could see my chakra but when he tried to touch me I wasn't there. Becoming solid again during the first few tries took time. I was stuck for an hour once trying to form my body.

I appeared in front of Akari and kicked her into the wall behind her. I could feel the akatsuki looking at me. I didn't care. I knew I had a mission. I didn't care. This woman infuriated me like no other could. As far as I was concerned we weren't family. Family doesn't try to kill you for something you have no control over. Family doesn't try to breed you like livestock. I had a family in the leaf now. Kakashi, Rayne, Ruka and Kai.

"Stop her."

Akari sent an electric whip at me. Stupid sister she didn't understand. "I told you before dear sister." I caught the whip around my wrist. The electrical current flowed through me. I sent it back to her. "The elements are mine."

I saw the fear in her eyes as she was electrocuted. How I had the energy for this I had no idea. My body wasn't strong right now. Akari was blurry from the fever. I would not let it stop me though. Itachi appeared in front of me again. I put my hands up. I wasn't going to fight anymore. I looked at Akari as she pulled herself from the hole in the wall. She had deactivated her soshigan and her green eyes glowed. She wore the Akatsuki robes. Since when did she join?

"What do you want from me?" I asked the leader.

"I am Pain," he informed me.

He was still speaking but I couldn't hear him the fever was getting to my brain. So I just cut him off. "Save the speech. I don't want to join the Akatsuki." I had heard enough they were hunting Jinchuriki and their leader was in the Hidden Rain Village. I had enough information for the Hokage for now.

"Your sister tells me you have the same dream as we do. You want peace." Pain said.

I looked at her. She was standing next to the woman with the flower in her hair and lip piercing. Peace? How could they want peace?

"We will shape a new world through pain," he said. "And I will be the god of that world."

"I have enough Gods in my life," I told him looking around. Too many Akatsuki members to even try to escape.

"She'll help us," Akari smiled at me. "I can convince her." I glared at her. She hasn't seen me in almost 5 years. What made her think she could convince me?

"We could just kill her," an akatsuki member said.

I tried to stay calm. They could kill me no problem. Tsunade what did you get me into? Why do you have such faith in me? I haven't been a spy in many years.

"I see I don't really have a choice." I said my hands out. Just play it cool it'll work out. Pain threw me a cloak. I was one of them now.

All the Akatsuki members left the room. Did they have their own rooms in this building? I followed Itachi. At least I knew him. Maybe he could explain this to me. He slipped into his room and I followed. His room was bare. A bed, a bedside table and a desk. He must not spend much time here. There was a knock on the door.

I opened it to see Akari. "When you and the Uchiha are done pleasuring each other I would like to speak to you."

That. Was. It. "Alright Akari. You want a show?" I took off my shirt. I was wrapped from hips to wrist in bandages but I still got looked at by a majority of the Akatsuki in the hallway. I started to undo my pants. I know it was wrong that when she was a child she was forced to have a child. While I saw it as rape, she saw it as a means to restore the clan but she was weird about sex. It made her visibly uncomfortable. If she would just leave me alone I wouldn't have to resort to this.

"At least get a child," she said walking away.

I looked at the men staring at me. "What? Want to see more?" I slammed the door. This wasn't my room sure but I had a reason to be in here. Sex was not it. During my early teenage years I experimented. It was something I've come to see as a spiritual experience with people you care about. It took me a long time to decide that, and many bad decisions. But, like nudity, I didn't see a problem with it.

Maybe it was my fever making me delirious. Itachi did say I had a spreading infection. Maybe I was getting sick. It worked though. Planning out spy work was hard work. Kai wanted every little detail planned out when we went undercover together back in the anbu while I did it better with spontaneity. It always worked out for me; this hopefully wouldn't be any different.

I turned around to see Itachi staring at me. I didn't have a shirt on but it wasn't like he hadn't seen this before. I walked up to him. "What did you just get me into?" He only stared at me. Could I get any response from him? Did I have to resort to nudity? This was getting tiresome. I reached out and moved some hair out of his face. "Itachi…" he was unresponsive. "Do you have a shower?"

He pointed to a door on the far side of the room. I let my pants fall as I walked there. I unwrapped my bandages as I opened the door. I didn't look back at him but I felt the tension in the room. He can't hide from me I felt it.

The water didn't get hot enough for me so I had to use my own. My back stung. I looked at my arms. There were some parts turning yellow. The infection was spreading. Can you stop infection on a burned wound by burning it? Where was Ruka or Tsunade? I'd even take Sakura right now I wasn't picky.

Once Kai's femoral artery got sliced in a battle. Ruka tried to heal it but he was bleeding out too fast. She was yelling at me to cauterize it. I had never done such a thing especially to someone I cared about. So when I tried he got my handprint as a burn on his leg. It's still there, faded, but a reminder.

When I got out of the shower I wrapped the towel around me. Leaving the hot room to Itachi's cold room made me dizzy. Maybe I shouldn't have heated the water up so much but I was so cold. My clothes were gone. Only my cloak slung over his desk was left. I looked at his bed. I wanted to so bad to sleep. I laid in it. My wet hair soaking the pillow. I would dry it off later. A good 12 hours of sleep is what I needed.

I awoke to stinging on my back. I hissed at Itachi. "Stop." I sat up. The candle on the table next to the bed barely lit the room. I don't know where the towel was so I wrapped myself in the blanket hiding my back from him.

"The infection has spread faster than I thought," Itachi told me. He was leaning of the edge of the bed. He handed me a white pill. "Take this. It'll help with the pain."

I grabbed the pill and swallowed it before I could second guess it. Itachi gave me a perplexed look. "I used to like pills a little too much." I shrugged I never got as bad as Rayne.

He looked at me. He was always just looking at me. What was he thinking? "What?" I asked. I had my back against the wall. The blanket wrapped around me. He could try again in like 15 minutes when that pill kicked in. I hope it was a good strong one.

"You agreed."

I sighed. "I didn't have much of a choice. I could take Akari anytime, you or any of the rest; I would be no match right now."

My hair was still wet and was making the blanket wet on one side. I must have been asleep for maybe 30 minutes. Maybe this pill would knock me out and Itachi could just work on me while I sleep. The idea didn't even worry me. Somehow I knew, for the most part, I was safe with him.

"I missed you."

I shocked myself saying that. Was the pill already hitting me? I hadn't eaten in like a day I guess it was possible. I leaned over and reached out. Itachi grabbed my hand before I could touch his face. "Maybe I should've given you half a pill."

I laughed leaning back. Yes, it was the pill taking effect. What kind was this? I felt amazing. Sky high. I felt my eyes roll around my head. It was great. I smiled. "This is hitting me hard."

"…I forgot how small you are."

"Rude! I was malnourished as a child and my body took longer to grow." I defended myself. This was an old joke. Like snowflake or our nose taps. See itachi I can still see you. I smiled at him. God I was high. "Did you miss me?" I leaned forward again ignoring the blanket. I tapped his nose. "I know you did."

He glared at me. I don't understand him. No one was around. Just be Itachi with me. This psycho path that everyone feared he was not. I met some. He didn't have the right traits. Unless someone was around? Someone I couldn't see or sense? The pill was dulling my sensory abilities. It was nice to be honest it help ease the anxiety it gave me.

"Turn around," it was a command.

Slowly, I felt so slow, I twisted my body so that my back was to him. The blanket was wrapped around me and Itachi slid it down. He gave me goosebumps. It was the pill my rational mind tried to tell me but I couldn't believe it. Why would he do this if he didn't care? He got me here. He wasn't in charge of making sure I was okay. His mission was done but here I was sitting in his bed while he played nurse.

I laughed, "Nurse Itachi-kun." Definitely the pill. I couldn't focus. I remembered why I used to love to take these when Rayne and I joined the anbu. You see things you never want to remember. And the things I was exposed to as a genin would haunt me. Pills made it stop. Pills made it so feelings didn't exist if you didn't want them to. My tolerance was low now or this was exceptionally strong.

The stinging wasn't as bad at first. He had started on the back of my hands going to my shoulder. There wasn't much of an infection on my arms. I had checked in the shower. It was my back. I could feel it. The tight skin that oozed pus. The bandages didn't help as much as I hoped.

Somewhere under my right shoulder blade, I almost screamed when he touched it. "I'm going to have to cut some of this out." I felt myself get dizzy. Come on pill. Work.

"I can burn it," I reached back with my hand, "Just show me where."

"…No," he put my hand down. "This is deep and going into your lung. It explains why you keep coughing up blood."

"When did you learn all this," I twisted to look at him. "You weren't a healer in the Leaf from what I remember." I was looking at two or three of him. It kept changing. I blinked hard trying to focus. What did he give me? "I'll be fine. It won't let its host die." I wasn't sure if that was true but I didn't want what was about to happen, happen.

He gently pushed me down on my left side so my back was fully to him. "Heat this." he handed me a kunai. I focused. It was hard through the haze but I saw the tip go red. I handed it back to him hilt first. "You don't need your soshigan now?" it was more of an observation than question.

"Got to keep your enemies constantly guessing your next move," I whispered. Mother taught me that. Was he talking to me to get me to ignore him cutting into me?

"…Your sister gave me some clothes to give you. Tell me about her."

I thought about it. He would start again when I started talking. "She has hated the thing inside me since I was born. She was supposed to be the chosen one but it didn't choose her. She won't admit it but I think she's the one who tried to kill me after I was born. She was the disappointment to our parents and I was to be the savior of the clan. A clan that barely had any members left. We were all but extinct when I finished them off. She said the land of lightening had two elders left but I never met them. Or any from the other lands." I hissed the last word feeling him cut too deep into my skin. "If what they believed was true and we were one of the first dojutsus because we understood how ninjutsu works by using the elements I believe that we should have died out long ago."

"Why?" he was putting a large sticky bandage over the wound. It was hard to think this critically while being high. I just wanted to let my mind wander but it made the work he was doing more painful.

"Evolution is meant to make the offspring stronger. We are no match for, say, your sharingan for example. We were dying off because we were weak and couldn't keep up with the stronger shinobi. But they clung to life using their children as sacrificial lambs to save them. Akari can't see that we were _meant_ to go extinct. Our clan was weak and weak things should die." He had moved on to my lower back. Was I supposed to sit up? But he didn't move me. "She wants me to breed but I'm ending our line. She may have children but they will be weak sickly things. Our name has been forgotten for good reason."

"You believe you are weak?" I think it was a shock to him. As a child I was so focused on being strong. And I was.

I sat up. He was done. All the bandages on my back made my movement loud. I turned towards him. He tried putting the blanket over me but I ignored it. The pill or me who's to say? "The clan I came from was. I am not an extraordinary shinobi like you, Itachi. I practice. I found some of the secrets of the soshigan that have been long forgotten. Look at Akari she can barely control the elements and she's older than me. She had more time to practice. But look at me. I'm a slow healer and this thing in me will kill me before old age ever will."

I can't believe I told him that. I had read that those who have the god inside them can only release it a few times and they always die young. This would be my third. My body won't be able to handle much more. It takes away your lifespan using the god. She'll want a new host soon and kill me in her escape.

"Akari wants me around to take her feather when I die," I said. It was so hard focusing. "Itachi…" I was letting the pill take over. The pain made it easier to ignore but it was back. I moved toward him and cupped his face in my hand. "Don't let her take the feather. Whatever happens to me stop this cycle."

Itachi stood up, "Get some sleep."

I grabbed his shirt. He looked at me with is onyx eyes. "Itachi will you stay? Just for a while?" the blanket was pooled in my lap but I don't think he noticed. He laid me down on the bed and put the blanket over me. I was facing the wall. He slid in next to on top of the blankets creating a barrier between us. The candle that was lighting the room went out.

"…Just for a while."


	7. Various Storms & Saints

I was dreaming of a wildfire. It was taking over the field I was in. My control of fire wasn't working and I couldn't stop the fire. And there was a tapping. It was distracting me from my task I had to stop the fire.

I opened my eyes and looked at the window where the tapping was coming from. I groaned. It better not be Rayne. We just got back from a mission. I need a full 24 hours away from her and to sleep before I could put up with her attitude again.

I got out of bed and stumbled over. "Rayne, I swear, if you want…" I stopped talking when I saw Itachi on the other side of the glass. I opened the window. "Itachi-kun why are you here?"

The window was letting in a cold breeze and I shivered. I had three heavy blankets on my bed; a long tshirt and shorts were fine under the covers but I felt the cold of the winter air. There was a boy behind Itachi who was almost blending in with the shadow of the night. He looked a little older. Was this Shisui? Itachi told me about him before.

"I had an idea… well Shisui and I did," Itachi smiled at me. I noticed they both were wearing heavy cloaks.

I looked at him confused. "About what?"

Shisui laughed, "I think you got ahead of yourself, Itachi,"

"Sorry, Shikyo this is Shisui," Itachi introduced. I waved. "Remember talking about how you wanted to learn to control snow?"

I looked hesitantly at Shisui. They were both anbu I suppose I had no secrets from that organization. I nodded. "I think I need to learn better control over wind first." I had not made much headway with wind in the past year. We had been very busy breaking down the ring of men selling children. That business was all but gone throughout the lands. Soon we would be training. Mother wants us to take the chunin exams next year.

"Right, come with us." Itachi said.

"It's the middle of the night," I looked behind me. Mother and Kakashi were both on separate missions. I was home alone but the dogs were home and mother's dog was sleeping on my bed. She was old and was never called upon for missions now. We called her "Mama Dog" since she always took care of the pups and considered me her pup when I first came here.

"This is the only night our plan will work," Shisui said to me.

"Let me change," I said. I found pants and put them over my shorts and found my cloak and shoes. Mama Dog looked at me. I froze.

"Your mother was doing the same thing at your age; I won't say anything as long as you're back by morning." She said. I smiled.

I jumped through the window turning into the tumble to land on my knee. I closed my window leaving a little room to open it back up to get back in when I came home.

"You're smaller than I thought you would be," Shisui said.

My eyebrow twitched. "My mother said I was malnourished as a child and as a result it is taking longer for my body to catch up!"

"You're just small," Itachi laughed tapping my nose. "Keep up."

I followed them out of the village. It was cold out and I could see the snowcapped mountains in the distance. Oh no, was this their plan? Going to the mountains and see what happens? What if nothing happens? What if I can't control snow and all I'm capable of is water and fire? I'm less than mediocre at wind.

"Itachi-kun what was the plan exactly?" I asked as we jumped through the trees.

Shisui smiled at me. "I hope you don't mind Shikyo-chan but Itachi and I were talking about you and your frustration with learning snow." I glanced at Itachi that conversation was over a month ago. "There is a great snow storm in the mountain and Itachi has said you're more of a kinesthetic learner so we thought it'd help you."

I didn't actually like the idea of being discussed by someone I had never met but Shisui did seem nice so I suppose it wasn't that big of a deal. Maybe I will learn to control snow with my dojutsu if not…this will be embarrassing.

"But…what if I can't?" I asked.

Itachi scoffed. "Why do you always doubt yourself? You're so stubborn whenever you want to accomplish something you do."

"This is something not even you can teach me, Itachi-kun," I replied.

Shisui laughed. "I'm excited to see your soshigan. I have heard many things about you, Shikyo-chan. I can see why Itachi is so smitten with you."

I gave Shisui a dubious look. "We're friends." Shisui laughed again. "What do you mean you've heard many things about me?"

"A new dojutsu in our village being trained by the Uchiha's…word gets around." Shisui said.

I thought about that. It was true. Once I became a genin the "lessons" with Itachi and Fugaku stopped. Although I did train with Itachi occasionally; the last few times we saw each other was either in passing or we just talked. Life can really get away from you.

We were going through the snowstorm. I could see my breath. I wished I brought gloves. It was freezing. I never did well in the cold. When would we be stopping? Maybe I should be in control from now on. This was my power not theirs. I activated my soshigan. The swirling energy from the snow made me stop. I could see it. Maybe that was the trick to learning a new element; I had to see it in nature.

"Shikyo?"

Itachi was calling for me but this was mesmerizing. The swirling of the snow. I could see the wind and water in perfect sync. I looked at both of my hands focusing on the needed chakra for the element. I could do windjutsu. I just couldn't control wind by itself.

I raised one hand. I wanted to test this. Using only water chakra on the snow swirling in front of me I separated the water from the wind. The water floated in front of me. I would need wind. It was like boiling water. I had to use both elements at the same time.

I looked at Itachi and Shisui. "I see what I need to do." I would use the natural wind to help me.

"So this is the soshigan?" Shisui mused. "Her eyes do look like snowflakes you'd think this would be easy for her."

"From how she explains it she can see chakra nature. She can see the elements. Water and fire are the easiest for her to control but she knows she can use wind and lightning. When I first met her she completely extinguished my fireball jutsu. She could take my father's and throw it back at him. Those eyes show her the elements and their chakra all round us." Itachi told Shisui.

I looked at the two whispering boys. I stopped the snow storm around us. They both had their sharingan activated. I strained. This was harder than I thought. I had to use wind to make a barrier around us that wouldn't let the outside storm in. I let it go. The wind whipped us.

"So, maybe you had a good idea," I smirked at them. I moved the snow from the ground in the air not letting it be blown into the wind. Focusing, I made ten snowballs and threw them at the boys. They hit. I smiled. Before they could retaliate I moved the snow from their bodies and made a wall of ice. I could feel it taking a toll on me. I used fire chakra and melted the ice.

"Itachi said you could use lightning, Shikyo-chan?" Shisui asked.

I tried to steady my breathing. "I can use chidori, I have no idea how to create lightning, and I'm thinking I'll need to master wind first. All the elements are connected." I told him. I had an idea infusing fire chakra with the wind I stopped the wind blowing around us and it started to warm up. I had both hands out stretched. I should try to learn how to do this with just my mind.

"So you can create fire and water without there being a source?" Shisui asked.

I looked at Itachi. He knew this has he not discussed this with Shisui? "It's a little more complicated than that. Water is all around us; I can just focus it to make it tangible." I left the fire question unanswered I still wasn't sure how exactly I could make a flame with nothing to burn.

"We should head back. The sun will be up soon," Itachi said. He brushed some snow from my shoulders. "Didn't your mother say the first day of snow was your birthday?" I nodded at him. He grinned. "Happy birthday, Snowflake."

҉

I was looking over the Village Hidden in the Rain. The side of the building turned into a face and I was sitting on the outstretched tongue. I had been asleep for most of the past two days. The first time I woke Itachi made me take another pill. In the haze I was in I took it without thinking. I remember trying to talk to him for the two minutes I was awake. I wasn't sure about what. I just remember looking up at his blurry silhouette. Akari came to me once. I couldn't even focus on her. She was like a dream.

I was using my soshigan to make it so the rain wouldn't touch me again. Pain's chakra was still in the rain. I couldn't even fathom the amount of chakra he possessed. It was hard to read all the chakra in this building. It was harder to try not to feel it all. Being a sensor was starting to be annoying.

I heard his footsteps coming my way. I realized I couldn't get an exact idea of who it was because of the rain. Pain. He sat next to me. The rain was already wetting his hair and clothes. He was wearing his Akatsuki cloak so I guess he wouldn't get all that wet. Maybe I should've worn mine out here. Showed I was really committed to the organization.

"I did not sense you in the rain when you first came to the village; I see now how you were able to elude me."

I looked at all the piercings in his face and those eyes. There was something so strange about those eyes. They were old like mine. He kept staring at me. He was kind of creepy. His orange hair and pale skin made those eyes that much more menacing. They stood out too much.

"Show me."

"Show you what?" I asked. He waved his hand over the village. It was barely waking up. There weren't many people out. The sun had just risen but with how rainy it was it didn't make much difference. I stared at the rain. He wanted to see my control so… I made it stop.

It became unearthly quiet after the noise of the rain. The drops were suspended in air. I had stopped it in the clouds as well so they wouldn't release any more water. It wasn't just around us that I stopped the rain. I stopped it in the whole village. My soshigan was spinning in my eye I could feel it. This much focus and this much control was really using it to its limits.

One year in the Leaf we had a drought. It was getting bad and the Hokage asked me if I could make it rain. I had never tried before. Mother was convinced I could so I went on top of the Hokage Mountain and stared at the village and the sky for a long time. I think the Hokage didn't think I could do it but my mother convinced him to stay and eventually I blessed the village with rain. It was as close to Godlike as I ever wanted to be.

I hissed as I let the rain fall again. I held for well over a minute. I could feel my body freeze in the shock. It was like when I was younger when I was first learning the elements my body had to adapt to it. I was close to being back in fighting shape. My back was finally healing. I was feeling more energized. Like my old self.

"I sent Itachi and Kisame on a mission. You are your sister will be teamed up as well. We use two man squads. You are to return with the payment."

I looked at his eyes again. I couldn't read him at all. "Alright."

Akari and I were walking in complete silence. It had been a few hours since we left the village. Luckily it wouldn't take much time to find this guy we had to kill. He had a big bounty on his head and the Akatsuki wanted the money.

I would eventually need to send the Leaf a message. I would need to separate myself from Akari and the Akatsuki to write out a mission update and summon a bird. I wouldn't be able to do that in the Rain village. This mission would take maybe a day. We would probably be back by tonight.

"How has it been in the Leaf for you?" Akari asked.

I looked at her through my hair. "Why do you ask?"

Her mouth was covered by the neck of the cloak and her hat covered all her features. "last we spoke…"

"Last we spoke I was drugged and you were trying to impregnate me," I shot back.

"Sister, it has been 3 years, surely you are over that."

I didn't answer her. I was 15. I had gone to the Land of Water to talk to her about the clan's history. There were questions I had. I was developing the soshigan farther than I had read about when I was 11 and wanted more information about the ones that were "gifted" the feather. During that time Akari tried to impregnate me several times but it was when I learned that the phoenix drastically cuts one's lifespan.

"So, you haven't had children?" She asked me.

"No, I've told you this before. I'm not having a child." I gritted my teeth.

"Well your nieces and nephews are in the Land of Lightning being protected by the last two elders of the clan." I could tell she was smiling.

"How healthy are they?" I asked.

She was silent for a moment. "…As to be expected."

So they were sickly. She made it seem plural but she had told me she struggled to be or stay pregnant and then the child would still be Stillborn.

"Just let the clan die, Akari." I whispered. "Why do you hold on to it? Create a new life. You can still have a family if that's what so important to you."

"Not all of us were lucky enough to find new parents in a new land to recreate ourselves." She glared at me. Her green eyes glowed at me. Her eyes reminded me of an earthy green, tress, grass, and flora. Mine were blue as the sky. We were opposites. She's the one who taught to me control the element of earth. The only thing we had in common was our dark hair.

"I wish we could get along, sister. While I may have created a new life in a new land I always wanted us to have a relationship. My anger for you and yours for me if we could get past it…" I trailed off where was I going with this?

"You can't change the past, Shikyo. I named you that as a warning to everyone to meet you. So they'd know exactly what you are."

"You cannot keep blaming me!" I stopped walking. "Don't you think I would have liked to know my biological parents? Don't you think I know in the back of my mind what I did? But guess what I couldn't control this stupid thing in me. I didn't ask for it! I would _gladly_ give you this power if you want it." I put my hands out in front of me palms up the cloak was masking my form but I was open. "Take it."

She stared at my eyes. "We both know we can't kill the God." She continued walking. "I'll be there when you die, but it won't be by my hands."

She did want the feather. "Is mine the only one left?"

She didn't answer me I took it for a yes. Were they lost over the years? Did the others like me go off to die? Red, Yellow, White, Blue and Green feathers. All lost to time. Maybe I should do the same.

"It is the clan's sacred tradition I plan to keep it and teach it to my children." Akari told me.

We were coming upon the village where the last known reports of the target were. He had killed the head of some important clan so we were hired to kill him. I guess he was the head of another important clan in this area, so instead if inciting a war they hired us. I wanted to make this fast. Akari could just electrocute him or something. Maybe control his blood. I tried teaching her that when we were younger. I wonder if she ever learnt.

"We should ditch the cloaks," I said.

"No, we want them to know it's the Akatsuki." She informed me.

"We'll be a target."

"Are you afraid? I believe you said to Itachi-san that you are the true wielder of the elements."

I looked at her skeptically, "Why aren't I surprised you were spying on me."

"I think you two are suited for each other I just wanted to know if you were getting along. I would love to be an aunt you know." She giggled.

"Hard pass. I'm not looking to Itachi for anything like that." I said curtly.

"But the history is still there, no?" She giggled again as we entered the village. "He is known for using lightning and earth style can you sense him."

"No, maybe if I had met him before but there are too many people in this village for me to find just one. While we all have our own chakra signatures going through each in a populated area would not be possible for me." I told her as we walked through the shops.

There were people selling goods, children and animals running around. This is a common theme among all villages I've noticed. The general look of a village would be different but how most people went about their lives were always similar. Most people avoided us. This close to the Village Hidden in the Rain the Akatsuki were known by their cloaks. It wasn't fear I sensed from the people, more like a healthy respect and space…with some fear.

"Well, we should look at a bar for him." I told Akari. "I can take this cloak off and get information quickly."

"Fine."

Five minutes later I was leaving the bar with a healthy buzz.

"You weren't supposed to drink." Akari threw the cloak in my face. Was it that obvious?

"A couple shots won't kill me. He's in that hotel," I pointed to the large building. "He orders women to him. He said I would be just his type. So how about a little sister-sister action and get this over this. Follow me."

I could tell Akari did not like my plan but I knew how to do this. Rayne and I became really good going undercover and killing powerful people with this technique. Akari wasn't Rayne though. Rayne and I, no matter what the situation, always had each other's back. Akari, I couldn't trust her. Even if right now I was in the Akatsuki and we did have the same goal. She was my sister but she wasn't family.

When we entered the hotel I ordered Akari to hide our cloaks in her pack. She was wearing a black tank top and black shorts underneath. Her Kirigakure headband was wrapped around her waist. I had my crop top with fishnets covering my stomach and black pants. I mean it wasn't the best clothes but if anything I'll just take out anyone who gets in our way too. I went straight to the top floor which was guarded by body guards. Easy enough. Akari just had to play her roll. The shots helped. She should've loosened up too.

I giggled and twirled my hair around my finger. "Is this the right floor? We were told to come up here." I smiled as sweetly as I could. In all realness Rayne was a lot better at flirting than me. Especially with Ruka. Ruka could get whatever she wanted.

"Boss wasn't expecting anymore girls, I thought." One of the guys mumbled at the other.

"Ehh, let them through." The other said looking me up and down. They moved out of the way. As we walked by he grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear. "When you're done come out here and keep us company." He smacked my ass. Ugh men.

I giggled. "Of course, handsome, be sure you two can keep _up_ with me though." I winked.

We entered the room. He was the only man in the room. Other girls were passed out around on couches, the floor, and the bed. He was sitting in a chair staring at us. I could see the disgust on Akari's face. She wasn't good at undercover at all.

"He match the description?" I asked.

"That's him." Her eyes flashed. She released lightning from her fingertips. It went straight into his heart. The girls that were awake screamed. My soshigan activated and I stopped their breathing. Controlling wind meant controlling air so with no air they couldn't make any noise. They passed out in less than a minute.

Akari looked at me. "They're just sleeping." I reassured her. We went closer to the corpse. "Did they want a head or the whole thing?"

"Just his head."

"Stand back," I used various handsigns. "Wind style: Wind Blade Jutsu." I focused sharp wind blades from hands and the head fell clean off the body. I looked at Akari. "When did you learn such control over lightning?" when I used lightning like that I couldn't make it go in such a perfect straight line, not without the aid of a jutsu. Lightning was wild and hard to control.

She put the head in a bag, "You underestimate _my_ control over the elements." She smirked.

We left the hotel through the window our cloaks flapping behind us. We ran through the village. Akari had put the head in her pack. We were pursued by three ninja. They really did underestimate us. I used the kunai Akari had given me before we left and got two of the three. I wanted to try what Akari did. I moved the lightning through my fingertips. How did she make it so straight? Mine was alive and wild. I turned and shot it. It hit its mark but it wasn't straight. Maybe, she was right.

I saw her grin from the corner of my eye, "Come sister, the drop off point is a little ways away."

She handled the whole exchange. I sat outside moving the electricity between my fingers. This would bug me for the rest of my short life until she told me how she did that. Why wasn't I using my soshigan? It would have shown me. I sent the little shockwave straight up from my finger. It was wavy. It was almost making me angry. I know she would never tell me.

She came out of the building. She watched me move the current between my fingers. "It took me a long time to understand to calm the storm inside myself was how you calm the storm lightning creates."

What did that mean?

"Let's head back, hopefully we'll get back before dark." She smiled at me. It was so smug.

When we reached the Village Hidden in the Rain Akari went to give Pain the money. I decided to explore and ran right into a tall guy with a mask covering his lower face. He had green and red eyes. He wore the headband of Takigakure. He stared at me.

"Um, hi," this felt awkward. Could he speak? I think he was the one who suggested to kill me my first night. I was just looking for the rooms. I couldn't remember how to move about this building.

"Shikyo of Konohagakure. Do you know the bounty on your head?" he asked me.

"I don't think I have one." I was staring up at him he was tall. He had earth chakra…no water…no what I couldn't read him. He had all styles that couldn't be right. Was someone else near confusing me?

"Wrong. You have a giant bounty on you. We would have been better off killing you for the money."

"…Okay… I'm just trying to find my room." Not Itachi's this time.

He scoffed and walked past me. I wasn't trying to make friends but that guy was weird.

"Ignore him, yeah." A blonde with one blue eye showing entered the room. He was young probably my age.

"No, he seemed charming," I said sarcastically.

He grinned at me. He was kind of cute. He wore Iwagakure's headband. Come to think of it all of the Akatsuki's headbands had the slash through it. I will have to fix mine. I didn't even put it on today. "Shikyo, yeah?" he extended his hand. "Deidara."

"Nice to meet you," I shook his hand. It felt strange but I didn't want to be rude to the only nice one I've met so far. "I'm looking for my room could you point me in the right direction?"

"Itachi should be in there," there was an edge to his voice but he pointed behind him.

"Um, I assumed I would have my own." I said slowly. Although I did leave some things in there I should probably grab. He shrugged and left me. I guess I could grab my headband and ask Itachi where I should go. I don't think he'd want a roommate.

I knocked on the door. He was in there. His fire chakra was too familiar for me to not pick it out through everyone in the building. He opened the door. I thought he would slam it in my face. I put this guy through so much.

"Um, I'm supposed to find my room…" I trailed off as he moved out of the way to let me in.

"Akari took Orochimaru's room," he told me as he shut the door.

"And that leaves me…?" he shrugged. I scoffed sitting on his bed. "Well I don't want to impose. Maybe I can find a couch or a corner with a nice blanket." I smiled at him as he stared at me. Itachi. Maybe we could be friends again while I'm here. Akari was not expected and threw me off focus.

"You…can stay here again." He offered.

"That sounded painful." I laughed. "I can sleep on the floor if you prefer. Or if anyone is on a mission I could steal their room?"

"No, we all returned today. Its late we can figure something out tomorrow." I stared up at him. He wasn't wearing his cloak or his headband. He did look so tired though. Itachi is not my mission the Akatsuki was.

"I left my headband here," I informed him. He nodded and tossed it to me from his pocket. Was he expecting to see me? He had put the slash through the middle of it for me. It was almost shocking to see. "I..."

"You have no ties to the Leaf now. You're one of us."

I stared at my headband. I knew what this mission meant for me. For what my future could be. How I might lose my only home in order to protect it. It didn't hit me until I saw it. I almost felt like crying but I couldn't in front of Itachi. This was what the ninja world was. I had to calm the storm inside myself.

I see Akari.


	8. Kiss With a Fist

I was sitting across from Kakashi. He was in his chair I was on the couch. Make Out Paradise was cast aside. He was staring at me intently. I didn't know what to say. I had let him read the scroll I received about the mission. Was he choosing his words carefully? Was he mad?

"So…?" I asked breaking the silence.

"You will be labeled a rough ninja; we will have to hunt you down… if I were to see you I would be required to kill you. Shikyo, you will be throwing your life away." he advised.

I sighed. "Kakashi we both know I don't have much life left."

"We don't know that. You're different from the others." He was in denial. Mother left me in his care. He took it very seriously.

I looked at his messy gray hair. He wasn't wearing his headband so his sharingan eye was closed. He was wearing his mask as always. I had seen him a handful of times without it. Sometimes I forgot what he looked like underneath it. I remember Naruto and the gang asking me what he actually looked like without the mask and I had told them he had horrible acne that he hides. It was always fun messing with them when they were younger. Had it only been a year since team seven disbanded to be trained by the legendary sannin?

"My plan isn't to join though I told you that," I reminded him.

"Taken prisoner would mean death." He hissed.

"They want me alive!" I shot back.

"Itachi Uchiha is there, Shikyo."

I paused. The thought had crossed my mind but I tried not to pay attention to it. I had saw Kakashi near death because of him. "I can handle it." I said indignantly.

"Shikyo," he sighed rubbing his eyes. "Your mother would kill me to let you agree to this."

It was sad smile that was on my face. "She would think I was capable of this."

Kakashi glared at me. "I didn't say I didn't think you were capable. I was reminding you of what this will cost you."

"I'm aware of what this mission means… if I can protect this village…or Naruto even, it would be worth it in the end." I didn't know how to describe how I could see my own mortality in the future. "Do you remember when mother brought me home for the first time?"

He glared at me with one eye. "Don't change the subject."

I smiled. "I'm not. I just wanted to reminisce. I remember when you used to not like me."

"Come to think of it, I think I liked you better when you were afraid of me." He joked.

When I first came to the Leaf Village mother treated me to ice cream. It was my first time ever having any and it changed my life. It was something we would always do together. When she died Kakashi took me out for special occasions: successful missions, birthdays, when I got promoted to Jonin, or just when we hadn't spent much time with each other. After her death he really did make an effort to be there for me.

When I first entered the house he and mother argued over me. He called me a project that she would just discard when she got bored. I remember sitting on the couch listening to them. Their dogs eventually came out. I had always loved animals and they could sense it. When it was obvious they accepted me he had no choice. I was part of the pack.

For years he was nothing but cold to me though. He would ignore and avoid me. I had made efforts, especially when I was younger, to impress him. It wasn't just mother who I wanted to accept me it was him too. I was hoping since he had a dojutsu as well that he would help me with mine but he was in the Anbu then and never had time and when he did…I wasn't who he wanted to spend time with.

Mother told me he would come around eventually that I had to be patient, so I tried being interested in what he was. When I learned how to read I asked if I could read his books. Now that I know what they're _actually_ about I understand his reaction. He went out and bought me my own series about a girl and her ninja cat. He came to regret that. I never stopped asking for my own ninja cat after that. The dogs he always said, even when I asked them and made so many deals with them, it was still a no; but it was the first time I believed he might actually like me.

I was obsessed with cooking. Having spent most of life being hungry always having food around took a while to get used to. I would sometimes go without dinner because I was scared they wouldn't eat if I did. It took a long time for me to learn that we would always have food; so I learned how to cook. I found out his favorite meals and I made it for his birthday or just special occasions. I would do anything so he would see I wasn't a nuisance.

I tried so hard to bridge the gap we had. We would read together on lazy days. I took care of the dogs when he was on missions. It didn't get better until after mother died. I know he regrets it. I know he loves me like a daughter now. He was the only father figure I had. I was around for his dark days and he saw me through mine. He was the one to convince me to leave the Anbu. He told me to live my life how I wanted. When I told him it didn't matter that I would die young because of my curse he never lost faith in me.

When he passed Team 7 I was kind of jealous. He had never paid any attention to anyone close to my age besides my team. It took me awhile to come around to the idea. I tried to keep my distance. I knew about Naruto. I had known Sasuke when he was a child. I completely ignored Sakura. He told me the time would come when I was to train the new ninja. I guess that'll never happen.

"I still want a ninja cat," I gave him a cheeky smile. It was better to joke right now. This would be our last day together. I didn't want it to be sad.

"I'm allergic," it was something he always said.

"You've been… a good dad. I think if you were to have children they'd be lucky," I felt myself tear up. I could hide this from him couldn't I? How I knew I would die and I think this would be the last time we saw each other. I wouldn't meet his future children. I wouldn't be around to give him shit when he started getting old. I had known all this for a long time but it was here now. "I'm so thankful for you."

He hugged me. We weren't the type to talk of love or hug. Mother did that. Maybe we still weren't as close as I was with her but I cherished our relationship. All the lessons he taught me. Protecting me, even if that meant from myself. He was always there for me.

"I don't want to let you down," I whispered.

He was arm's length away from me. "You never have. Your mother would be so proud…If you feel this is what you need to accomplish in life I won't stop you…I am proud of you, Shikyo."

I looked down at my lap trying not to cry. Why was I so emotional? "Thank you, Kakashi."

I'm sorry.

҉

I had coughed up blood when I woke up. In a haze I rushed into the bathroom. My eyes nose and ears were all bleeding. It wasn't much. I was dying faster than I thought I would.

"I just need a little more time," I hissed at my body.

"Shikyo?" Itachi was behind me.

Fuck.

"I'm fine!" I turned to shut the door but he was there and he saw. He saw my weakening body. I'm so screwed. "I'm fine." I said again as he stared at me. Please be a bad eye day. Kakashi said his vision was dwindling right? Please be true. I had no evidence to believe such a thing.

"What's wrong?" I saw what could be concern on his face. No, that can't be he couldn't actually care, right?

I was only wearing a long t-shirt; I could feel how messy my hair was from sleep. Itachi wasn't wearing a shirt. I tried not to let it distract me. He was explaining to me about the Akatsuki when I fell asleep. Was he on the bed when I woke up? I couldn't remember.

"I… uh it's the phoenix," I was wiping the blood of my face. I felt fine. I still had time. I would _make_ time.

Itachi reached out and wiped the blood from the side of my lips. Keeping his hand under my chin he moved my face up to look at him. He moved my head side to side. I was trying to keep my breathing steady. Having an anxiety attack right now would solve nothing. He activated his sharingan. I froze.

He deactivated them. "I can't see anything wrong."

"I don't think even your eyes can see this," I whispered. His hand was still on my chin. Good, looking at his face would make it so my eyes wouldn't wonder. This was not the time to let old feelings surface. Last night was nice, it was civil at least. I'm glad I wouldn't be miserable. I could normally turn any situation in my favor.

He let go of my chin and went through the desk in his room. Last night I sat on the bed and he at the desk. I wasn't complaining. I think we both needed the distance. I tried not to stare but his muscle back demanded my attention, Muscles from years and years of training. He didn't have any scares on him Surprising for our line of work. Everyone I know shows some kind of tale of the ninja world on their skin. His are in his head I realized.

He brings me a vial like the last time. Why does he have this? I shut the door to the bathroom. Changing my mind I crack it and whisper _thank you._ Being rude wouldn't solve this. At least, for some reason, he was helping me. I keep my shower short and cold. I have something to accomplish today.

Itachi is gone when I reenter the room. I almost think this would be easier if I avoided him. He's been a distraction, and with Akari around I didn't need anything else distracting me from my goal. I had to send a message to the Leaf. My week was almost up.

I put on my black pants and the sheer shirt with a black crop top over it. I stared at my headband. I put it on. I went over to the desk and borrowed a piece of paper and a pen. What should I write exactly? I forgot my cloak.

Exiting the Akatsuki hideout I only ran into one member: the blonde, Deidara. We had both looked each other up and down but didn't say anything. He was cute and if our last encounter was true he seemed to be a talker. Maybe I should get to know him more. Liquor can make anyone talk.

I didn't know my way around the Rain Village very well but I remembered enough from yesterday on how to leave. It was the early morning not many people were out yet. It was more of a mist than rain right now. I still wouldn't let it touch me. Pain had all but confirmed it was his rain and he knew everything going on under it. I needed privacy.

I walked maybe an hour away from the village. This should be far enough. I stopped and activated my soshigan. Looking all around me I made sure I wasn't followed. Somehow Akari had dodged my senses and I wouldn't make that mistake again. No one. I was in the clear.

I bit my thumb and using the needed hand signs I summoned a bird. I tied the tiny piece of paper to its leg. I wanted to write more. Tsunade will tell Kakashi I'm okay I'm sure of it. I told them all our suspicions were correct and I had successfully infiltrated the organization. I also put I wouldn't know when my next message would be. This was the initial test. Either I died or joined. Luckily the latter happened.

I did wish Kakashi was here. I would like to talk to him about Akari. When I had returned from my homeland the first time I told him I still had family out there but I wanted nothing to do with her. That was still true, but seeing as were partners right now I'm stuck with her. I could use his advice on how to deal with her. I wonder if the Akatsuki trade partners often. Maybe I could try Deidara. I wonder who his partner was.

My next bird will have more information on the members. They already knew about Itachi and Kisame so I should really start paying attention to the other members, especially Pain. I think I should head back and get close with Deidara, besides Itachi, he's closest to my age and he did seem interested in me. I could work with that.

I started the long walk back to the hideout. At least I'll be back by the time most normal people would wake and no one would notice my absence…my soshigan activated as I sensed the massive amount of chakra. Kisame? No this was different. I froze looking around I couldn't place it. I could feel my pulse quicken. My body was going into fight or flight mode. And then, it was gone as fast as it came.

All my senses calmed down. That was weird. I walked faster; I needed to get out of here. I wasn't wearing my cloak! What if that was one of the Akatsuki members and they didn't know I was one of them. I did not need to be attacked. My back was almost healed now. When I looked into the mirror this morning I barley had any scabs and no scarring. I was so lucky but that didn't mean I was any match for whatever that was.

I made it back to the hideout in less than forty-five minutes. I tried to steady my breathing before I entered. I didn't want anything to seem amiss. Luckily, I didn't see anyone. Was everyone already on missions or were they still sleeping? I guess it was only a couple hours after sunrise.

I paused. I couldn't sense anyone. That was…no. I felt farther. I tried for the people on the street. Nothing. What in the world was happening? I opened the door to Itachi's room. I needed to grab my cloak. Why couldn't I sense anything?

And then I heard it; such intense coughing. I turned and saw Itachi in the bathroom. He was coughing something up in the sink. I saw the bright red liquid. Everything I was just fretting about evacuated my mind.

"Itachi!"

I rushed over to his side. He was panting and the sink was covered in blood splatter. This was worse than whatever I had. I put my hand on his shoulder. He didn't have a shirt on and I could feel his clammy skin. He finally noticed me and tried to shake me off but another coughing fit took over him.

The medicine that he's been giving me… it was for him. I took out the rest of the vial from my pocket. I only drank half. I was saving the rest in case he didn't want to share in the future. He dropped to the ground his back against the wall. He was shivering. I bent down in from of him and pushed the vial to his lips. He drank.

"Are you alright?" I wiped some blood from his face. He was still sweaty.

He looked at me with those onyx eyes. My blue eyes stared back. His fire. I could feel it again…but only his. I would figure it out later.

"…I'm fine." He tried standing but I could see his legs shaking.

It was like déjà vu from this morning. I put his arm over my shoulders. I was a lot shorter than him but I could at least help him to his bed. "Shut up."

I laid him on his bed. I grabbed a washcloth and put it under the running water of the sink. I blew on it chilling the water molecules. Going back to Itachi I covered his forehead. He's still shivering. I covered him with his blanket and using my soshigan I warmed the air in the room; only a couple degrees. I had to be precise. Was it sweat out a fever or freeze out? Ehh, seems like a "why not both" situation.

It took Itachi five minutes to be back to normal. Whatever medicine he had was amazing. I need to get me some of that. Maybe he'll help me out. I feel like he owes me now. I played nurse…oh wait I guess we're even…probably not he played nurse with me for a couple days not ten minutes. How is he the good guy all of a sudden?

"You good?" I asked. He glared at me. "Well, you're welcome."

He sat up. His skin was glistening with sweat. Alright, Shikyo, stop staring. I can tell I'm feeling better I'm starting to notice Itachi more and more not to mention remembering a lot from when we were kids. I tried locking away those memories years ago but seeing him here being so close to him it was getting harder and harder to ignore all those suppressed feelings.

I rolled my eyes at him, I went to grab my cloak when he reach out and took my hand. "Sit."

I sat on the bed. He let go of my hand. I reached out to check his skin again but he stopped my hand. "If you're still hot I can cool you."

He showed me the washcloth and wipes his neck. "Why didn't you drink all the medicine?"

I hesitated, "I…uh wasn't sure if you'd give me anymore in the future." I shrugged while smirking. "Lucky for you I'm cautious."

"Where have you been?"`

"Exploring," I waved it off. "Stop changing the subject, what's wrong with you?"

He stopped talking. He was dabbing his collarbone with the washcloth. My eyes followed his hands. I huffed. I feel like he was trying to play me. I stood up.

"If you don't want…"

"Shikyo," he interrupted me. He nodded to where I was sitting. I sat back down. And I waited, and waited…and waited.

"Ugh!" I shot up. "I'm leaving Itachi. I don't know what's wrong with you or why you insist I listen to nothing!"

He was on top of me. Somehow we switched places. He was so fast I wasn't expecting it from him. Not now after seeing him so sick. He had both my hands pinned on either side of my head. One knee was between my legs. I sucked in air. I could feel the heat from his body. I stared into his eyes.

"You have my attention." I said trying to stay nonchalant. Trying to ignore the weight on me. Trying to ignore all the feelings forming like a fire in the pit of my stomach. Trying to ignore this insane attraction washing over me.

"You…are too impatient."

"Somethings never change," I breathed. I had to focus on my breathing. Not the man on top of me. Just focus on the bad things. The massacre, he's going after Naruto, he smelled so good… no! He's Akatsuki, criminals… he is so attractive. Fighting with myself was going nowhere. And I was stuck like this until he decided otherwise.

I had never felt like I wasn't 100% in control of a situation with a man. Itachi Uchiha was surprising me at every turn. He was so annoying.

"Do you think so little of me?" he asked.

"…What?" I was dumbfounded.

"You test me," he raised both my hands over my head and locked them together with one of his. He trailed his finger down my face. "Using your body to get a reaction from me." His fingers traced my lips went down my chin to my neck towards my chest. "As if I am not a man." His light finger went straight down my chest to my navel stopping at the edge of my pants.

Focus on breathing. Focus on breathing. I was trying not to pant. I could feel myself sweating. My heart was hammering in my chest. He traced the curve of my waist to hip.

"I…um don't know what you're talking about." The smirk he gave me was enough to make me nervous.

"We are not children anymore, Snowflake."

He lowered his head. His lips grazed my jawline and when they met mine something inside me came to life. I felt a wave of electricity flow over me. My mind went totally blank. And I let him consume me. He wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I needed him closer. I struggled to free my hands. I wanted to touch him but his grip was firm.

He pulled away and I could feel myself panting. I was close to delirium. I had to focus. I had a mission and he was nothing but a distraction. I couldn't stay here anymore. I'd have to bunk with Akari. I was still laying down staring at the ceiling. I couldn't stay here with Itachi Uchiha the great disgrace of Konoha.

I sat up and looked him. I somehow still felt helpless to him. I wanted him more than I have ever wanted anyone. My body was almost vibrating with need. He smirked and leaned in again our lips barely touching.

"I won."


	9. What The Water Gave Me

Kakashi ran at me. I avoided his kunai. I didn't leave an opening for the fist that came my way. I blocked with my left and swung with my right. He jumped back and I mimicked him.

"Is this all the great _Copy Ninja_ is capable of?" I laughed.

He wasn't using any ninjutsu. I would just stop him and he knew it. I grinned. We hadn't sparred in a while. I forgot how fun this was. His team was supposed to be here almost an hour ago. He wanted me to meet them for some reason.

It was a rare day off and I wanted to sleep all day, like I always do, but that didn't seem like it was going to happen. I felt like a genin again; waking up early and training all day. Now it was more practice than training. There were always things to learn but less and less time the higher rank you were.

I knew their names: Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha. I knew Sasuke when he was a child and had seen Naruto causing mayhem in the village but I had never heard of Sakura before. Of course, I had spied on the three. I watched them overcome the bell challenge. I watched how they interacted while waiting for Kakashi.

I'm sure Kakashi knew I had taken an interest in them but he never said anything about it. This was the first team he had passed and to be honest I was jealous. Kakashi was _my_ teacher. He had been my teacher for years and now he had an actual team it was something that I was getting used to.

They had just gotten back from the Land of Water; my homeland. He told me how they defeated Zabuza: A legendary swordsman of the mist. I was impressed. I guess the fox demon came out and Sasuke awakened his Sharingan but most importantly they all survived. I wish I was there.

I saw Kakashi tense and I knew he was going to run at me but I held my hand up to stop him. I sensed something.

"They're here," I said.

He attacked anyway. I jumped back and laughed again. I spun the kunai around my finger and using wind chakra I threw it at him. He threw his at mine but I used chakra to move it course. His kunai missed my kunai and it sliced his sleeve. I caught his before it hit my face.

"Maybe you should use your Sharingan," I teased with a smug smile.

"Kakashi-sensei!" I heard Naruto yell.

He was such a hyper kid. How Kakashi dealt with this I'll never know. Naruto had blonde hair blue eyes and what looked like an obnoxious orange jumpsuit. Sakura was close behind him sounding like she was scolding him. Her bright pink hair made her green eyes look even brighter. She wore a red dress with shorts underneath. Sasuke was strolling in behind them. I knew his blue shirt had the Uchiha fan on the back and he had his hands the pockets of his white shorts.

"Kakashi-sensei! Are you alright? Are we under attack?" Naruto ran in front of Kakashi and took a fighting stance and stared at me. Focused. I'll give him that he didn't look afraid.

"Naruto, you idiot. Look at her headband," Sakura punched him in his head.

I heard him mumble at her. Sasuke was staring at me. Those dark eyes remembered me. Kakashi, do you not think of the past?

"Now calm down." Kakashi said to his team. Children. "Sakura, Naruto meet Shikyo." So he does remember the past. "Sasuke," he said as Sasuke came closer, "you remember Shikyo, of course."

I saw confusion and rage cross Sakura's face. Sasuke kept his face neutral but I saw something forming behind his eyes. Was he still angry with me after all these years?

When he was a child, after _it_ had happened, I visited him. And he yelled and cursed me. He blamed my leaving and not being there for his brother. I didn't know what to say. He was an inconsolable child. I let him take it out on me. I would check up on him occasionally in the background. Asking Iruka how he was doing in the academy, and making sure he wasn't killing himself with his training.

"So, what's the plan, Kakashi?"I asked kicking dirt. "I'm not a babysitter."

I saw their reactions Naruto would have exploded if it wasn't for Kakashi putting a hand on his shoulder. Sakura looked nervous and Sasuke's eyes narrowed. I had all their attention now. I couldn't hold back my smirk. Genins were so easy to read.

"Who is she anyway, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked.

"She's your mission," I could tell he was smiling behind his mask.

"Our mission?" Naruto asked mirroring my own thoughts.

"Yes, think of her as an enemy and your mission is to capture her. You will each attack once on your own and then as a team. Learn from your comrades failures and think out a plan." He sounded so excited.

"No offence but she doesn't look much older than us, how strong could she be," Naruto mumbled.

Kakashi laughed at me while I rolled my eyes. "Of course you will have some information on the enemy. Let's see, Shikyo, you're seventeen now….right?"

I scoffed. "I thought parents were supposed to know your age." I added an air of mockery for good measure.

I heard them murmur amongst themselves. _You're welcome, Kakashi._

"Anyway, let's see, Shikyo of the Leaf Village, a seventeen year old who became jonin at fifteen; chunin at eleven and genin at eight. Am I correct, Shikyo?"

I nodded. I'm kind of impressed he remembered all that. He didn't add the ANBU but that was fine. There is always some mystery to an enemy.

"Her strength is ninjutsu. Weakness is undetermined at this point." Kakashi was done. That's all the info he'd give them? That was nothing. They're genin they'd normally have more to go off of.

"That's not much to know about the enemy," Sakura said. Kakashi did say she had some of the highest scores in her year but that's all she had going for her.

"I'll give you three questions where I cannot lie," I said holding up three fingers. "Think carefully."

"Wait, wait!" Naruto yelled. "Is he," he pointed at Kakashi, "really your dad?!"

I laughed listening to Sakura and Sasuke chastise him. Kakashi was rubbing the back of his head trying to get them all to calm down. I put a finger down.

"To answer Naruto's question," I said over all their voice. They all looked at me. "It's complicated."

"That doesn't answer his question at all!" Sakura yelled at me.

I smiled still holding two fingers up, "Then ask a more relevant question."

"What is your weakness then?" She asked. There was a smugness about her.

"Ice cream," I laughed again putting a second finger down. Genin were so simple they don't think about all the possibilities. "A good question would have been what the key to defeating me is. You have one question left," I looked at Sasuke. "Choose wisely."

I saw his smirk and felt the Uchiha fire swirl around him. How smart are you Sasuke?

"Show us your Kekkei Genkai."

I tilted my head and smiled. It wasn't a question but who was I to deny him? I wonder how much he knew about the Soshigan. Maybe he wants to know what it really looks like. Every time he tried to spy on me I sensed him before he could see anything. I'll grant your wish Sasuke.

My eyes flashed. The wind whipped around us. I made the earth tremble. I tried not to move I could feel the Sharingan watching me. The clouds came with the wind. Rain drenched us all and I made lightning strike right in front of them. I heard their screams and saw the way Kakashi looked at me.

It all stopped. The wind died, the clouds dried up, and the earth stopped shaking. I realize I didn't show them fire. I breathed out fire and suck it up through my nose. The shocked look on their faces was so satisfying. What was Naruto saying about how I didn't look threatening?

I was watching my shadow clone easily fend off the genin. Had Kakashi noticed I had swapped yet or was he still being a _teacher_? Oh there he is. He looked right at me. I was in a tree looking down on the five of them. He appeared beside me.

"How long has it been out there?" he asked.

"Since Naruto ran at me," I answered. I had let Naruto hit me and used the substitution jutsu. My clone came out and I've been up here ever since.

"None of them have even hit it; you know you could have gone easy on them."

I scoffed, "You should have told me why you dragged me out here then."

"I recommended them for the chunin exam. I thought you going against them would help with their problem solving skills." He pulled out his book.

"Well, Sakura could use some improving in… everything. Sasuke and Naruto need to learn how to fight as a team not constantly trying to outdo the other," I mumbled to myself. Kakashi was more interested in his book than what I had to say.

They had retreated and were talking amongst themselves. Were they actually planning out their attack? Did they finally notice my clone's weakness? They turned to my clone and readied themselves.

"Oh," I grabbed the book from Kakashi. "Watch."

"What?" he asked looking down.

I grinned. "Sasuke knew me when he was younger I'm sure Ita… I'm sure he remembers how using my Soshigan took me a minute to bounce back. He had used his Fireball Jutsu right before they retreated. His Sharingan had to have noticed."

"But… you don't have that problem anymore," Kakashi pointed out.

I winked. "You said to go easy on them."

Sakura and Naruto went to either side of my clone. Sasuke started his hand signs. They were doing like I thought they would; took them long enough. Sasuke's fireball flew at my clone. She was looking at Naruto and Sakura. She lifted her hand and the fireball went out but she would be frozen for about two seconds. They acted the second the fire went out. Naruto tackled my clone. Poof. She disappeared.

I could hear Naruto screaming. "You'd think Naruto, of all people, would know it was a shadow clone."

Kakashi snorted at me. I threw him his book and jumped down from the tree. I could hear Kakashi following me. He did love big entrances. We landed by the genin. Naruto pointed an accusatory finger at me.

"You! It was a clone?!"

I laughed. "Of course. What hope do three genin have against me?"

The anger I felt radiating off of the two boys made me want to laugh harder. This was fun but I doubt I could ever become a teacher. I definitely wasn't patient enough to handle children.

Naruto screamed and ran at me. He used Shadow Clone Jutsu and created two clones to run with him. I smirked. I felt my eyes flash as I held up one finger. Lightning jolted out and went right through one clone.

The other two stopped. "What… how did you?"

"Naruto, stop reacting so recklessly." Kakashi reprimanded him.

"What just because she's your daughter…" He started.

"Not his daughter," I interrupted.

"Whatever! You were going easy on us. You couldn't even fight us yourself." He complained crossing his arms. Demonic chakra came off him. Was he so mad that he was tapping into the Fox's chakra? Up until now I could barely sense the fox sealed within him

"And how long did it take for you to notice it was a clone, Naruto? From what I could tell it was Sasuke who came up with the fireball plan," I reminded him. Sasuke glared at me, Naruto wouldn't look at me and Sakura had backed away like she sensed a fight starting again. "You should be glad you even got to destroy my clone." I added.

"Look guys it was a great exercise. You exploited her weakness and took her down. Mission accomplished," I think Kakashi was trying to ease the tension.

"No," Kakashi and I looked at Sasuke.

"No?" I asked the Uchiha.

"I want to fight you once more. No clone." He looked so determined.

I looked at Kakashi who shrugged at me. What do you have to prove Sasuke? Whatever his vendetta was it wasn't against me and I wasn't a punching bag.

"No, you had your chance," I told him.

I felt the Uchiha fire swell within him. His anger was consuming him. He wasn't mad at me. It was what I represented to him: his past; a friend of his brother's. Did Itachi speak of me to him? I know he saw us train occasionally but did he know the extent of our relationship? That I considered us friends' not just rivals. Not just thrown together because our parents were friends but somehow we became friends. Did he not know I felt betrayed as well?

He ran at me anyway his Sharingan shining with hatred. I don't know what I did to him to warrant such loathing. He jumped in the air and started his fireball seals. I stopped it before the fire left his mouth. I think his confusion only made him angrier but it made his attacks even more obvious. I grabbed the fist aimed at my face and using my free arm I grabbed the high collar of his shirt and swung him onto the ground.

I appeared above him and locked my Soshigan with his Sharingan. "Tell me what do your eyes see?"

I was floating in the middle of the lake. The rain was falling down on my face. I didn't bother to stop it. Pain could know where I was. I doubt training would be against his wishes. For some reason after the Itachi situation I kept having dreams of disappearing into the lake. At first I thought it was because of the embarrassment but I think it was my instincts telling me something.

Besides, the cool water felt nice on my bruises. I was not told by anyone that part of the initiation process was to fight pretty much all the members of the Akatsuki; except for Pain and Konan.

I had fought Kakuzu and Hidan. Kisame told me they were zombies and couldn't die, so I took that seriously. Kakuzu apparently didn't understand that elemental jutsu didn't work on me and kept trying until he had to switch to one on one fighting. Thanks to Kakashi and Gai I'm actually quite fast to make up for my lack of strength. Of course, I could use elemental jutsus but nothing seemed to affect him. I think we were fighting for about ten minutes when Pain called for it to stop and sent in Hidan.

Hidan and his giant scythe. He really wanted to cut me with it. Anytime it came close I would turn to wind. It was the best defense. Was I supposed to use a kunai to defend against that thing? I hit him with chidori and it didn't even faze him. I had to change immediately into wind to defend against the next attack.

They weren't showing their full strength and I wasn't showing mine. It was mostly about running out the clock. The fight with Hidan was maybe five minutes it was up to Pain to decide when he saw enough.

Tonight was Deidara and Sasori. I wouldn't be fighting Itachi or Kisame thankfully. I feel like either of them could injure me. Pain said he didn't need to see those fights. I guess Itachi had showed him enough. I kind of wanted to face Akari. Just for the embarrassment and to prove to her I was stronger.

I heard his footsteps before I sensed him. I was so focused on the water that it was dulling my senses. I pulled a senbon needle out of my hair and threw it at him. He became crows.

"I don't talk to clones," I whispered.

I could feel myself loosing tangibility. It stated in my fingertips. A tingle was going up my arms. I took a deep breath and let myself sink into the water. I hope I don't lose myself. I kept Kakashi around when I tried this with wind. I needed an anchor.

I could feel it happening slowly, first my hands and toes, then it moved up my arms and legs, but I was yanked out of the water before the process was complete.

I sucked in air. Itachi was holding me by my neck. He squeezed when he saw what was left of my body.

"You shouldn't have done that," I hissed. My voice sounded far away in the white noise of the rain. I was half water now. I wouldn't be able to stop this. "Let me go."

"What did you do?" he asked.

"Wanted…to… see if I could," I felt like I was underwater.

He let go and I broke through the surface of the water. I was water. I could sense all the life around me, from the algae to the fish. I was the lake. I could feel Itachi's chakra keeping him on the surface of the water.

I needed to reform. Time seemed to be going so slow in this state. When I was wind time seemed to speed up, when I was first learning it felt like days I would be stuck in that state when it was only an hour.

I felt ageless like a millennia could pass and I would remain unchanged but I had to focus. Each drop of rain distracted me so I had to focus on Itachi's chakra. He was my focal point. It was so hard to focus it was so slow trying to become solid again but if Itachi was still waiting it couldn't have been that long right?

It happened all at once. I was one with the lake one second and the next I was sucking in lake water. I needed air. I kicked my way to the surface and inhaled as much air as I could. To my left Itachi was staring at me. His hair was wet from the rain.

"How long did that take?" I panted.

He studied me and deactivated his Sharingan. I wondered if he was watching me in that form. "Not even five minutes."

I sighed; time was so drawn out in that state I would have to practice it more. "What do you want, Itachi?"

He was looking down at me. I hadn't tried to stand up yet. My body was shaking and I could feel my chakra system trying to steady itself.

"Do you think it wise to waste so much chakra when you are being tested?" he eventually asked me.

I scoffed. I focused chakra into my feet and slowly ascended until I was standing on the surface. My crop top and spandex shorts were dripping down into the lake. The rain was beating my hair into my face. I felt my Soshigan flash as I dried my clothes, skin and hair. I thought about using it to keep the rain off me but as Itachi reminded me I needed to conserve chakra.

"Am I being summoned?" I asked.

He gave a curt nod and started walking towards the building. I looked at my hands they were still shaking but for another reason. Flashbacks of the night where I almost gave myself to him flowed through my mind. I wanted to slap myself as I watched his form move farther and farther away. I still wanted him but I had to control myself. He wasn't why I was here.

I followed him grabbing my cloak where I had left it on the shore. When we entered the headquarters I went to go to my room to change but Itachi stopped me.

"I have to change," I snapped. I didn't even have any of my weapons on me… or a bra! I had left this morning for one thing. I didn't expect to be thrown into the ring the second I got back. I also had a huge bruise on my ribs thanks to Kakuzu. That would be a focus point for both of my opponents. I might as well give up. Deidara and I have been talking lately but I doubt I could distract him from that and Sasori? I haven't even met him yet. All I got from Deidara about him was something about art. It was a lot of art talk with that kid.

Itachi put a hand on my ribs. I tried not to hiss at the pressure. "I thought you knew healing jutsu?"

"This is what it looks like after I tried," I said looking down at the hand over the dark purple skin covering my side. My body was taking longer to heal. More evidence I didn't have much time left

Itachi gripped me tight on my hip and pulled me into him, the hand that was still on my bruise almost made me squeal in pain but the shock, thankfully, didn't let it escape. "Sasori is a puppet." He whispered into my lips.

I could feel the heat radiating off him through the dampness of his cloak. My back started to sweat from the anxiety of being so close gave me. How was I supposed to think straight with him so close? With his lips hovering over mine? That little distance, it took all my self control not to throw myself into him, to abandon everything and just give into the pull of him.

Itachi, thankfully, walked away leaving his words swirling through my head. _Sasori is a puppet._ What could that mean? A puppet of the Akatsuki? Aren't we all?

We were in the basement of the building. This all reminded me of the chunin exams fighting others as spectators watched and being judged on my abilities. My Soshigan was a secret that I didn't show until the final round of the chunin exam. Now they knew what it was and I didn't feel the need to hide it; besides the little things I've discovered along the way.

The room was huge. It was covered in solid concrete so thick none of our strongest attacks could even make a crack in the walls or floor. Probably a good thing since Deidara's specialty was explosion and could bring the whole building down on us.

Deidara was waiting for me on the far side of the room his long blond hair was covering half of his face. His headband showed his missing-nin status with Iwagakure. I knew underneath his hair was his eye scope. His cloak was covering most of his form besides his blue pants and sandals. I also knew his clay pouches here on his hips.

The rest of the Akatsuki were against the wall. I met Itachi's eyes. He gave me a slight nod. Was that supposed to be reassuring? Deidara walked toward me, he smiled as he neared me.

"I'll go easy on you, yeah?" he joked.

I smiled and nodded towards our audience of eight. "We wouldn't want to bore them."

We both looked at Pain. "Begin."

I looked at Deidara one visible blue eye, " _When_ I beat you, Deidara-kun, you owe me a drink."

Deidara jumped back laughing, "And when I beat you, Shikyo- _chan_ , what do I get?"

He was pulling out clay and feeding it to the mouth on his left hand. This was technically a Kekkei Genkai could I stop it with my Soshigan? It was also heavily earth based one of my weaknesses. I put on my cheekiest smile, "Whatever you want."

A bird formed in his hand made of clay. I could see the question in his face. He was wondering if it would work as much as I was. I looked at the members lined up watching us. They were wondering too. Even Akari. What had happened when she fought him? Or did she? Was this just for me?

"Art is an explosion, right?" I asked reading his mind.

He smiled at me and the bird flew. My Soshigan flashed and I could see it: Earth _and_ lightning chakra. While we had spent time talking and learning about his past with the explosion corps, he had never once showed me his explosion technique and now I can see why.

I tilted my head to the side and the bird stopped flying. I saw his eyes narrow behind the two fingers he was using to channel his chakra. I could feel his struggle to make the bird move but I wasn't going to let it happen.

"I'm curious," I called across to him. He grunted; concentrating too hard to form an answer. "Make it explode."

"What?" I saw the confusion on his face. I also felt the force on the bird weaken.

I smiled. "This is why we're all here, dear Deidara, to see if I can combat your explosion technique. Let's give the people what they want."

I saw the chakra changing the electricity forming and… I had to pick one. Keep holding the bird in place or stop the explosion. I groaned pulling both my hands out of my cloak. I would have to focus different chakra through both my hands. One to hold the bird the other to stop the electricity. This was more work than I wanted. I was worried about Sasori. If Itachi had to warn me about him I had to take him seriously.

I heard Deidara screaming with concentration. I focused harder. I felt liquid dropping down my face. My nose was bleeding. I was going to lose it. I let go of the clay bird and concentrated solely on the electricity. Lightning type was easier to control for me than earth. The bird being freed from my hold shot at me. I caught it in my hand. I could feel my Soshigan spinning in my eye keeping the explosion from happening.

I looked up at Deidara. He dropped his hands and stared at me. He looked more annoyed than anything. I saw him reach for his clay pouch again.

"Enough."

We both looked at Pain. He nodded at Deidara who started walking towards the rest of the Akatsuki. I sighed with relief letting my Soshigan disappear. That took more energy than I thought it would. Deidara had a strong will he almost over powered me or if he used a bigger bomb I don't think I could have stopped him.

I wiped the blood from my face as Sasori walked toward me his bulking body hidden underneath his cloak. When he and Deidara passed each other Deidara looked back at me and almost looked…worried. Was Sasori that much of a threat?

"Your powers won't work on me, girl," Sasori grunted.

I tensed. This is what they were all trying to warn me about? That I couldn't use my Soshigan? Am I that underestimated that they think it's all I'm capable of? Do they think I rely so heavily on my Kekkei Genkai that I can't defend myself without it?

"Sasori of the Red Sand, am I correct?" I asked taking off my cloak. I was wearing my black sports bra and fishnets with black shorts. This is what all this was leading up to. Kakuzu used every element he was to test my control. Hidan was to test my defense. Deidara was to see how my Soshigan worked against Kekkei Genkai. Sasori, are you testing my offense?

"Correct, surprising my name is known by someone from Konohagakure." His voice was rough and his face hidden was behind a mask.

I jumped back leaving a good distance between us. "I'm well versed in missing ninjas. Plus," I added nonchalantly, "I can taste the sand in your chakra."

"Begin," Pain's voice rang out.

Needles flew at me from Sasori. I didn't even see him move! I jumped to the side but they followed me. I zigzagged my path trying to avoid all the needles flying my way. They finally stopped when I heard the wind move. I looked to see Sasori's _tail_ coming straight for me. I had no time I became wind.

I thought I heard someone yell; trying to stop me but it was too late. Something was wrong. The air was heavy. I became tangible on the other side of the room behind Sasori. And I saw it: where I once was a heavy smoke covered the area.

"Poison the air." I said.

Sasori turned to look at me. He had a scorpion like tail I had never seen before and his mask was gone showing a puppet like face. From what I remember from the file I read on him he used puppets not that he _was_ a puppet. Was it false information?

"It's was a good idea," I said lightly. I smiled. I had to keep this lighthearted. He saw a young girl: someone who wasn't a threat to him. "But, as I don't actually breathe while I'm in that form, it had no effect on me." I shrugged at him keeping my cheerful smile on my face.

Should I go offensive? Making hand signs as quick as I can, "Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu." the fireball engulfed Sasori but I heard the needles again.

I jumped out of the way again. I looked to see Sasori. I burned his cloak away. His puppet body looked like a scorpion. He had a mask on his back, no doubt some kind of armor. His tail came at me faster than last time. I was mid jump. It tried putting my hands up to block the blow but it smacked me across the room.

Okay, it didn't hurt as much as it could have, although, my rolling had knocked most of my hair out of the ponytail I had it in. I looked at Sasori through my dark hair he was the first Akatsuki to actually knock me down. Kakuzu sure put up a fight and got a good kick at my ribs but Sasori was impressive.

I looked to the side and there was the clay bird I had discarded from my fight with Deidara. My Soshigan flashed and I sent the bird flying at Sasori. I channeled lightning chakra through it like I saw Deidara try to do. It exploded. I could hear Deidara screaming about the explosion and the beauty of his art. I sighed getting on my knees. It looked impressive but that didn't mean it actually had any effect on him.

A dozen puppets came from the smoke "Oh, for the love of-"

"Enough," Pains voice rang out.

I did a mental thank you to all the Gods I could think of. I stood myself up my Soshigan fading. Akari came up to me holding my cloak.

"That was impressive, I would not have thought of using Deidara's clay against Sasori." She wiped some dirt off my cheek. "When Pain said he wanted to see how strong you were I thought he meant we would fight, you took on nearly the whole Akatsuki and all you have is that bruise on your ribs."

"They weren't trying to kill me," I shrugged. "For the most part I played defensively."

"Itachi, Shikyo," Pain said. I looked at him. Did he say Itachi's name too? "Akari and Kisame, come with me.

I locked eyes with Akari; she looked just as confused as I did. She handed me my cloak as we followed Pain, Kisame and Itachi to Pain's office. It was small room with a desk. Five people felt crowded in this little room. With the sweat I had built up it probably wasn't as warm as I thought it was.

"There is a mission in the Land Of Lightning for Shikyo and Itachi," Pain said. I felt myself flinch. I looked to the side and locked eyes with the Uchiha. "There is a prominent family that is having a celebration to anoint their new leader. Shikyo and Itachi are to go there and assassinate the new leader."

"Why us?" I asked. If it as a simple assassination why was this a big deal?

"The only shinobi allowed are from renowned clans." Pain explained. "To get in would be more of a hassle than to just use your Kekkei Genkai to allow you in." I guess that made sense but Itachi was a well known criminal wouldn't they want to attack us? "They care not on your ninja status. It's a bragging right to have an Uchiha be present."

"Why not send Akari," I couldn't help myself from asking. "We're from the same clan."

"You are better known, Shikyo. Itachi and you will leave tomorrow." Pain dismissed us handing Itachi a scroll. "Akari and Kisame will have their own mission."

I looked curiously at Akari but she wouldn't look at me. I followed Itachi out the door. He stopped and looked at me. He opened the scroll and said "They want ninjas who know how to be proper."

I snorted. "This will take us almost a week to get there. We will have to go around the Land of Fire." I was mentally planning in my head.

"Shikyo," I looked over my shoulder to see Konan. I don't think I've talked to her yet. She held up a long elegant looking dress. It was black and had the red clouds of the Akatsuki, a plunging neck line and a long slit up the side. It looked small up against her but would probably be a perfect fit for me. "Wear this on the last day of the mission."

I gingerly took it. It was silk. "Thank you," but I said it to air.

"We leave at sunrise." Itachi said as he walked away.

Alone with Itachi Uchiha for more than a week; the Gods must hate me.


	10. Big God

"Shikyo!" I heard my mother's voice from far away but I couldn't focus on it. The main character was about to go through a life or death trail! This was important.

"One more chapter mother," I mumbled not taking my eyes from the page.

"Kakashi," I could hear a commotion but didn't look. The ninja cat was coming to rescue the kunoichi from the enemy! "You had to get her those books? She never puts them down."

"She wants to read and I helped, you should be happy you say I don't pay enough attention to her," I could hear Kakashi say to her.

"Will you two shut up," I snapped closing the book. Mother's face looked annoyed. Kakashi was holding a side of his head. She must have smacked him trying to get his attention. We were both reading. This was the only time I spent time with Kakashi: when we read. Mother wasn't wearing her normal clothes she was wearing a yellow sundress.

"Shikyo, come with me," I gave a questioning look to Kakashi who shrugged at me and followed my mother to my room. She went to my closet and started going through my clothes.

"Mother what is going on?" I asked watching her.

"We have been invited to a dinner party for Itachi," she looked back at me and smiled.

"Why?" I asked. It wasn't his birthday. That was a few months ago what could be happening?

"He's been promoted to chunin. I ran into Mikoto in the market today and she invited us." Mother was still rummaging through my clothes.

"Oh…shouldn't this be a family dinner? Why invite us?" I asked. I hadn't seen Itachi much since becoming genin he never mentioned the chunin exams.

"I think he asked for you," my mother mumbled, when I was about to protest she continued, "Don't you have any nice clothes? Like one dress?"

"No," I said simply. "You know I like shorts."

My mother looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Well we're going to change that."

We were looking at clothes… so many clothes. She couldn't decide what she wanted me to wear. Blue, red, purple and pink, she could not make her mind up and it was getting annoying.

"You aren't helping Shikyo," she said showing me another dress.

I barely looked at it. "Because I don't care. Why can't I wear, like, pants? Can I make Itachi his favorite dessert?" I asked changing the subject abruptly.

"Do what you want, Shikyo, go find a shirt and nice pants if that's what you want." She sighed. She looked so tired. She was putting the dress back on the rack.

"Are you okay, mother?" I asked but she was walking away.

That was weird. Mother never acted like this. Was she stressed out? I was walking through the clothes barely looking at anything. Was it from the last mission? I told her nothing happened and I was okay but she's been acting weird.

"Shikyo!" I looked behind me to see Ruka and Rayne.

"What are you doing here?" I asked dumbly.

"Shopping, duh." Rayne said. Her brown hair was braided in pigtails. It framed her face and made her copper eyes even more startling.

"What are you looking for?" Ruka asked. Her blonde hair was braided too. I've learned over these past few months that Ruka and Rayne's mothers were best friends so they've known each other since they were born. They were more like sisters than friends. It was useful for our team they could communicate with just a look.

"Mother wants me to find something nice to wear for this dinner we're going to tonight," I said faking interest in yellow top.

Ruka's blue and green eyes widened. "Let me help you!"

"When it comes to shopping Ruka is the one to go to," Rayne said smacking my hand that was holding the yellow top. "Not your color."

"So, what kind a dinner is it? Are we thinking dress or like a nice shirt and some khakis maybe? What color would look best on you? Do you want me to do your hair?" Ruka spoke it all in one breath.

"Um, I was thinking a nice shirt and pants, and I guess blue?" I answered avoiding one subject but I saw Rayne's eye narrow at me.

"But what's the occasion Shikyo, Ruka needs to know." Rayne said while Ruka nodded at me with wide eyes.

I could feel my face getting bright. "Itachi got promoted to chunin and mother is making us go have dinner with his family." Both Ruka and Rayne broke out in the oohs and aaahhs and pinching my cheeks; calling me cute and adorable. "Stop stop stop," I hit their hands away. "We've been friends for years!"

"Friends," Rayne said. "He's cute and an amazing shinobi. We've seen how you guys talk to each other."

"I know exactly what you're wearing!" Ruka grabbed my hand and dragged me away.

I wasn't in a dress, not technically. Ruka picked out a long blue shirt. It was a soft powder blue that she _knew_ would bring my eyes out. It was a long sleeve but the sleeves were cut open. It was pretty and I'd probably never wear it again. I was wearing plain black spandex shorts. Ruka said I actually looked my age instead of five. I chose to take that as a compliment.

Dinner was… pleasant. The adults talked a lot about what being a chunin meant and all the responsibilities coming Itachi's way. I felt bad for him. It was a lot of pressure for one kid to bear. I also think I finally convinced Sasuke to stop hating me. Before dinner I was entertaining him by forming water into animal shapes and having them chase him. Itachi was scared I was going to soak him but I flicked the water off him before our parents found out.

"Who picked that out by the way?" Itachi asked indicating my shirt.

We were walking after dinner. I had brought his favorite dessert for him and I think it was the first time I saw him smile since we arrived. He didn't let Sasuke come with us. He called it "Ninja talk" but we haven't talked much the entire walk.

"What you don't think I could choose this shirt, dress… thing?" I asked making my sleeves swish in the air.

"Well, since you called it a "thing" I'm going to say no," he laughed.

I think we were walking towards the docks. Itachi always liked to sit there.

"I ran into Ruka and Rayne while shopping," I said rolling my eyes. "They took over. I was more than happy to let them."

"From what your mother has been telling my parents, you're the leader of the three." Itachi said.

We reached the dock. The lake wasn't particularly big but it was pretty; especially at sunset. We sat down at the edge of the dock looking at the sky.

"On missions, I guess." I shrugged.

Itachi was silent for a moment. "My father told me what your missions are."

I looked at him startled. We weren't supposed to talk about our missions. I pulled my knees to my chest wrapping my arms around my legs. "We've all seen things, terrible things. I don't want to talk about it."

"But you do it for the village?" he asked.

"Itachi-kun?" he looked at me. "Do you think it's foolish of me to want to protect those who can't protect themselves?"

"No," he said slowly. "I think you're brave."

I smiled to myself. I felt my eyes flash as I shaped the water into the form of fish, dolphins, and seahorses. I made them dance in front of us. I felt the mist on my face.

"When did you learn that?" he asked.

"It makes people smile. We don't see many smiles when we're out." I smirked and jumped onto the surface of the water. Itachi looked at me curiously. I made the rest of the dancing creatures fall, splashing him in the process. I laughed at his face and ran the second I saw him twitch towards me.

Itachi appeared in front of me. He was always so fast. I dropped the water from beneath me and made an air pocket. Standing on water and letting it flow above me. It was like I was in a bubble.

I could see Itachi staring at me. I could see his Sharingan shining. I had never tried this but now was a good time. I moved the water from under him; he dropped, and landed in front of me. I smiled at him our dojutsu staring at each other.

"How are you doing this?" he asked looking around us. I tapped my cheek bone pointing at my eye. "No, I meant, I know you can control water and fire but isn't this also air?"

"I think," I said looking around us. "I can control wind. Don't tell anyone, not yet. I'm not sure."

"This would be your third chakra nature." Itachi said.

"I think I can control all the elements." I looked up and moved us like the water we were standing on was a platform for me to control. "At first I thought maybe it was just water and fire for me. I could see wind and earth but I couldn't figure out how to control them for awhile but," I closed my eyes and focused, wind blew through us. "That was me!"

"You've come far from the anxious little girl," he said looking amazed at me.

I laughed, "I'm glad we're friends, Itachi-kun."

He looked curiously at me, "Friends?"

I smiled bigger, "Best friends."

* * *

"Does silk wrinkle?" I asked Akari.

I was in her room and we were being kind of _sisterly._ Her room was a mess; clothes and weapons everywhere. I was sitting on her bed hugging one of her many pillows to my chest. She was admiring the silk dress in front of her full length mirror. One of the reasons I came to her was because I knew she was the only one with a mirror in her room.

"Of course it does," she said rolling her eyes. "Just steam it if it's not too bad."

I groaned, "It'll be in my backpack for like a week, it's going to wrinkle!"

"I can always just seal it in a scroll for you," she said not unkindly.

I smacked myself in the face. How did I forget about fuinjutsu?! A week and a half to two weeks was my estimate to how long we'd be gone. Alone. I groaned throwing myself back on the bed. Staring at the ceiling hoping this would calm me down.

"Try it on," Akari said.

I sat up. She was still admiring the dress in the reflection of the mirror but it was maybe a size too small. How did she grow to be an average height and I'm this short? "Why?"

She looked at me through her reflection and shrugged, "Make sure it fits." I got up. Taking the dress I was about to put it on over my clothes when Akari stopped me. "No, it'll look all lumpy with those shorts you have on!"

I rolled my eyes at her. I threw my shorts at her and took the fishnet shirt I was wearing off as well. Sliding the dress on felt foreign, I hadn't worn one in a few years. The silk was cool against my hot skin although I probably couldn't wear my sports bra with it. The neck line went way too down.

"You got curves hidden under all those baggy pants you wear," she laughed.

"I'll need a bigger chest, not hips." I said shaking my head.

"Shut up, seriously you look great. Maybe good enough to get the Uchiha's attention." And there it was. That's why she was being nice.

"Akari!" I groaned. I finally looked at myself. My hair was up in a messy bun and you could see some slight bruising on my shoulders from being thrown across the room by Sasori. I turned and the deep back this dress had made the phoenix on my back stand out. The bright blue against the black was startling. I spread my arms out keeping my gaze over my shoulder at my reflection. You could almost see the feathers move with my arms.

"It looks brighter than the last time I've seen it," Akari said.

"Third time's a charm," I mumbled putting my arms down. I turned back and faced my reflection. It did make me look curvier than I ever thought I was. I looked at Akari and then at myself. We both had dark hair and bright coloured eyes. Maybe our cheek bones were similar too. We did look like we could be sisters I suppose.

"What?" she asked seeing me stare at her.

"What did our parents look like?" I asked before I could stop myself. I could feel the aura in the room instantly change. Akari's whole body stiffened. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. The few times that I've seen her since she told me we were related I never once asked about our parents. I asked about the clan, yes, but never our parents. I felt like an insult to the woman who raised me, like she wasn't enough because she wasn't biologically my mother.

She went to her bedside table and rummaged around until she pulled out a photo. She handed it to me. It was a man, a woman and a little girl maybe four or five years old. The woman looked almost exactly like Akari now, only her hair was brown. Her green eyes were just as bright. The man had our black hair and my blue eyes. I could see my lips in the woman and my nose from the man. It was a little disorienting. 18 years and this was the first time seeing my birth parents.

"I didn't think you cared," she whispered.

"I…" I had to clear my throat. "I have always been curious. You just made me feel like I had no right to be." She was holding another photo in her hand. I nodded toward it. She was almost hesitant to give it to me.

"Your niece and nephew," she said. The girl looked so much like Akari at that age it was startling. Her hair was wavy and her green eyes shone just as brightly. She didn't look sickly at all. She looked strong and happy. The boy on the other hand was maybe 5 years younger his skin was almost translucent and his hair was such a sickly brown. "Sora, she's 13 now and Haru he's 8. She has fire eyes." She had so much pain in her smile. "He hasn't awakened his Soshigan but he's always practicing. He will be a strong warrior."

"Why aren't you with them, Akari?" I murmured.

I saw the change in Akari and she snatched the photos from my hand. "We do what we must in this world, dear sister."

Itachi and I set off at sunrise. When I finally got myself up and grabbed all my things Itachi was waiting for me by my door. Akari put all my stuff in scrolls. Apparently backpacks were looked down upon. I guess it would look lumpy underneath the cloak and that would kill the whole Akatsuki aesthetic. I twisted the ring Pain gave me. It had the kanji for moon on it in gray.

We had been walking for a couple hours. No hurry. We would probably arrive a day or two before the three day festival started if we don't run into any trouble. It took me awhile to wake up. I was up late with Akari. She and Kisame had a mission too but she didn't make it seem like it was a big deal.

The forest was bursting with life: birds, rabbits, and insects. When I had nothing to distract me sometimes it was hard to cancel their chakra out. When I was child it was overwhelming. The walk might have been quiet if not for nature. Every now and then a gust of wind would burst through. I would add my own chakra to it going as far as I could senses could reach.

"Itachi," I asked suddenly curious, "Are you a sensor?"

I could see his dark eyes look at me from the side. "No."

"I see," I mumbled. "So, you haven't noticed that we're being followed."

"What do you mean?" he asked. I wonder if he relied on Kisame's Samehada to sense faraway chakra when they were on missions. Or did they just never care?

"It's faint. They're right on the edge of my abilities but whenever the wind blows through I can sense them." I explained. We kept a steady pace and neither of our faces gave away the tone of the conversation.

"Plus their bird," Itachi looked above me.

"Huh," I said glancing at the hawk. "Missed that."

"How many?"

I used my chakra to make wind this time and focused on them. I could barely feel them. "More than three less than ten… I think."

"That narrows it down." Itachi chided. Was that a joke?

"I told you they're on the edge of my abilities. They're more than a kilometer away but no more than two. Their chakra is almost all the same. I'm guessing from a clan. We're probably in their territory; they might leave us alone when we leave." I speculated.

"We will ignore them for now, stay vigilant." It was an order. Who made him leader?

"Obviously," I muttered. "I could just incapacitate them, I'd make it fast."

Itachi stopped and stared at me. All that was visible of his face was his eyes. His Sharingan glowed. It almost felt like he was sizing me up for the first time since we fought a couple weeks ago. "Sometimes," he said slowly. "I see so much of the girl who protected the weak and then this side of you comes out."

"This is the world we live in," I said walking ahead of him. "Come along Itachi-kun, we can't let our followers know we are arguing."

"Is that what we are? Arguing?" he caught up to me so easily, he had what maybe seven or eight inches on me? I finally grew from fifteen to sixteen and just made it past to the five foot mark.

"No," I smiled at him. "We're having a pleasant conversation so that bird doesn't report back to our friends that we're on to them."

"You're very good at faking emotion." He observed.

"I've had years of practice," I said rolling my eyes. "You remember what I was originally groomed for."

"I recognized Ruka Sato and Rayne Hayashi," Itachi said. I guess we would have to keep talking now that we started. "Who was the male you were with?"

I would have to answer this. I had no ties to my teammates now. "His name is Kai, we met in the anbu."

"You were anbu," he said it like it explained everything.

"When I came back after meeting my sister I joined. I thought," I gave an exasperated laugh. "I thought I would actually be using my strengths, but it was the same as when I was a genin, being sent to men for information. It's like I told The Third they're worse than pimps; pimps admit what they are."

Itachi was quiet and I couldn't stop talking. It was almost a cathartic feeling finally getting it off my chest. "We put the needs of the village before our own."

I snorted. "Until we break. Ruka always wanted to be a veterinarian. She loves animals but now she only works with kids. She never joined the anbu I don't think she would have survived. Rayne joined after me and they used her like they used me. She got hooked on anything that would numb her mind, pills, booze, hunger."

"And you?" Itachi asked.

"You must understand, no one actually touched us. Sure, close calls, but we were never harmed physically. Rayne's genjutsu, until I was trapped in yours, was the best I've ever seen. I can control _blood_. It would take a lot more than force to take advantage of us."

The wind blew through us stronger than before. I could sense a storm coming. The strangers were the same length away. I wonder how much longer we'd be on their land. Did they see our cloaks and know who we are and that's why they're keeping their distance?

"Shikyo," Itachi said sternly.

I snapped my attention to him, was my being lost in thought suspicious? "What?"

"You were far away," his fingers came up and grazed my cheek.

I tried not to flinch away; it was always so startling when he touched me so kindly. "Sorry, strategizing."

"They're no threat." He said it so easy. He truly feared no one. "Tell me more about Kai."

He knew about Ruka and Rayne; I talked about them a lot when we were younger. Ruka was born being able to heal others. She mostly worked in the hospital now, she only came on the last mission because Rayne told her it involved a Jinchuriki and she was worried about us. Rayne could use genjutsu since she was a genin. Add in my mastery of two elements by the time I was seven and you had yourself quite a formidable squad.

"I met Kai in the anbu. He'd been in there already for a couple years. I joined his team and then Rayne. He was a captain by then. His strengths are weapons." I left out that even Gai thinks his taijutsu mastery is amazing. "All three of us left the anbu at the same time. Then we formed the team you saw."

I left out that _I_ was the one that had the breakdown. Images flashed in the back of my mind: girls as young as three being used and abused. We stopped the selling of children for a while. Maybe we should have stayed more wary. We could slow it but it never stopped. And until I was fifteen I looked like I was ten, perfect bait to be whispered things to, important information that a child couldn't understand. I pushed the images down. It was too distracting getting sucked into that world again.

"You girls were trained for one thing and that's all you would be to the village," Itachi said reading my thoughts.

"You think I don't know that?" I asked.

"Three young pretty, girls, stronger than they look, and mentally strong enough to take the mission that would destroy a weaker person." Itachi acted like he was reading a report.

I looked at him shocked. I don't know why this never occurred to me.

"The anbu kept a close eye on you three; I read the reports when I joined." That's right he joined a year after I became a genin. "I guess they weren't done with you if they made you and Rayne join officially."

"Wait," this was becoming too much. "Did my mother know?"

"Who do you think wrote the reports?"

I stopped walking. She knew this was all we would be to the village. The nightmare we all had to endure. She didn't like it either. I saw how it affected her too but she never stopped it. We did what was expected of us. Demanded of us.

Itachi was in front of me His hand lightly grazing my cheek. I couldn't breathe couldn't hear what he was saying. This was not the time to be touching me.

Wind whipped around us. Was this me or the storm following us? I had to get my emotions under control. "Stop."

Itachi's hand flinched away as the wind immediately stopped. Something was wrong. I could sense them behind us but now there was more in front of us. We walked into their trap.

"Itachi there's more in front of us now. That's why they never attacked." I warned.

Itachi turned his Sharingan in front of us. He slowly kept walking. I activated my Soshigan, so this is how we were going to play it. This is how Kai liked to play it too: calmly walk toward the enemy like we had no problem. Like we wouldn't kill them before they knew what was happening. I followed him. The wind whipped our cloaks behind us. The ones behind us were picking up speed. I could finally count their numbers four behind us four in front of us.

"Eight all together," I murmured barely opening my mouth. Not that it mattered they were far enough away still that they couldn't hear me.

"You'd think they'd come more prepared." Itachi murmured back.

I glanced at him and smirked. What would it be like fighting with him? This wouldn't take long. I would make sure of it. I could feel the shinobi in me overcoming all other feelings. Was it the first rule that said no emotions?

They waited for us in the clearing. The storm that was following us whipped our cloaks and hair around us. They were definitely part of a clan their chakra tasted of Earth and something else. It wasn't an element, not entirely. They all had brown hair and brown eyes, similar facial features, round faces, small noses, and wide eyes. Their forehead protectors showed Kusagakure allegiance.

Itachi made to walk straight past them. It was like they didn't exist to him. I could sense their change in chakra. I don't think they expected _us_.

"Akatsuki," the one directly in front of us said.

The ones behind us were almost here but slowing waiting for some kind of signal. The one in front sent a kunai at Itachi's feet. He paused. I could imagine the look he gave me them. I kept my eyes ahead not looking at him.

"What is your business here?" their team captain asked, he was obviously in charge.

I stepped forward, I could handle this, and we didn't have to hurt them. "Just passing through." I said it coolly. No threat in my voice. Itachi to my left handled that. "You will not be harmed if you stand aside and let us pass."

They whispered amongst themselves. I heard them acknowledge who Itachi was but I was a mystery. Itachi and I locked eyes. What were they thinking? And then the ones behind us charged while the ones in front of us started their jutsu. I didn't even notice a signal.

I put my hand up and stopped the flow of elemental chakra. Four ninjas attacking at once add in the four coming quick this would drain my chakra. I barely had time to acknowledge their dumbfounded looks when the ones behind us attacked.

Itachi was just watching me. The new group started a different jutsu and I put my other hand up towards them. This was different than the ones in front of us. I heard them call to the first group and they started the same jutsu. I was trying to suppress it trying to stop their elemental chakra from forming but it was heavily earth based and they were forming it with something else. Something I couldn't sense properly. It changed the earth chakra.

"Shikyo?" Itachi asked.

"I can't stop it!" I groaned dropping my hands. I let go what little hold I had. Maybe if it was one or two I could stop it but eight all forming a chakra signature that I wasn't familiar with.

They slammed their hands on the ground. I looked at Itachi; his face as stoic as ever. Why wasn't he doing anything…was he a fucking clone? I'll kill him.

Walls came up from the ground around us. The earth chakra inside it was so faint so warped by whatever Kekkei Genkai it was they had. I looked up thinking about jumping out but they blocked out the sunlight; trapping us in the dark. I put my hand on the wall. We were trapped in a metal box?

I slammed my hand against the wall and turned toward Itachi. "You didn't do anything!"

"Neither did you," Itachi retorted.

"At least I did something," I growled into the dark. I formed a fire in my palm creating a little light in the darkness. Using my free hand I poked Itachi in the chest sending a light jolt through him. He didn't react I slit my eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked looking at me strangely.

"I thought maybe you were clone… hoped actually." I was still poking his chest using a little more force each time.

Itachi grabbed my hand. "I'm real. How would it help this situation if I was a clone?"

I sighed. It wouldn't change anything him being here or outside. "Let go of my hand, Itachi."

He didn't. "What do your eyes see?"

"Nothing," I whispered. "This is earth chakra but not. You saw I couldn't stop it. I can't knock these walls down." My frustration was starting to form. I have gone against non-elemental users but never have I been trapped. Plus, I was with the Itachi Uchiha, how did they trap him too? "You let this happen," I hissed yanking my arm back.

I could see the smirk forming subtly on his face. The shadows danced around us casting shadows on us. "I wanted to see what you are capable of."

I wanted to hit him. I locked eyes with his Sharingan. "Okay Mr. Prodigy." I could see the smirk fade for a faint second. "Get us out of here. Show me what the great Clan Killer Itachi Uchiha is capable of." I spat the last words.

I expected him to retaliate. I could see the anger in his eyes though the Sharingan never showed much besides anger. He reached a hand out and grabbed a strand of my dark hair. "I think you forget I'm not the only one with the power to kill clans."

I froze. He can't be comparing the acts of an infant to what he did. "We are nothing alike."

He made a noise that almost sounded like a chuckle but he forgot how to laugh. I saw them change. His Sharingan. I could almost hear it so this is what the Mangekyo looked like. I could feel the power coming from them. Something in the back of my mind told me to be scared told me this was a not fight or flight. It was flight and I had to run. Run as fast as I could.

Itachi pushed him behind him. He turned and I heard him say "Amaterasu."

I saw the black flames attach to the wall of metal. They gave no light only the fire I still had in the palm of my hand showed what was happening. My Soshigan was spinning. It hurt. It was too high level of a jutsu and it almost felt like it was over powering my Kekkei Genkai. I saw a little bit of sunlight coming through.

"When I tell you, jump through." Itachi said. From what I could see from behind him his eyes were closed. How much power did it take to create this? I ignored the black flames slowly eating away the metal and focused on Itachi. This drained almost all his chakra. Why use this? He didn't have to we could have found another way.

"Itachi-." I wanted to say something. That he didn't need to use such an extreme jutsu. I could have focused maybe I could have found a way to bend their jutsu but he cut me off.

"Now, Snowflake."

I dived through the opening landing in a tumble pulling my kunai out. Snowflake. When did he start calling me that? Was it before I was even a genin? When he described my Soshigan to me he said it was like watching a snowflake fall against the night sky. It was beautiful and deadly. These ninjas were about to find out.

Eight in all. I slashed the one immediately to my left. Seven. I threw two shuriken into the chest of the shinobi behind me. Six. Two charged me. Using both my hands I sent pure lightning chakra through both their hearts. Four. I could see their scared faced. Half were left. I jumped at the next ninja. He moved unexpectedly so when I slashed his neck the blood splashed my face soaking my hair. Three. I turned. Two were directly behind me trying to use a jutsu. I stopped their chakra flow. Earth chakra. Luckily for me it wasn't their metal jutsu. I formed chidori in both my hands and moved as fast as I could. One. Panting I looked and sense for the last one. He was behind a tree. I could sense his scared chakra and I appeared in front of him.

He was just a kid. Maybe eleven. What was he doing out here. I froze. He looked at me straight in the eye ready to die. I stabbed the tree by the side of his head with a growl.

"Tell your people they brought this on themselves. I offered peace. Tell them not to meddle in our affairs again or this will be the fate of your entire clan. Do you understand?"

He nodded and ran. I watched him. He was quick but he was too young to be out here. I looked back at Itachi. His right eye had blood dripping down his cheek. I couldn't look much better. My hair was soaked in blood.

"Shi…" Itachi feel to the ground.

I ran to his side. Did he faint? My Soshigan showed me he had a minimal amount of chakra left. I felt something fall on my face. I looked up. The storm had started and rain was showering us.

"For fucks sake."


	11. Hurricane Drunk

"There's a party tonight," Rayne said casually as we all sat in the hot springs.

The steam was so thick I almost couldn't see Ruka who was sitting across from us. Since we joined the anbu sometimes I felt there was an invisible line between us three. Ruka and Rayne's friendship was something I was so jealous of during a lot of my younger years. The feeling of being your true self around someone and they wouldn't judge you or leave you was something I've never felt…

I had heard of the party. I knew a couple of the villagers always threw one at least once a month. Non-shinobi. Civilian's parties always got crazy for some reason. Ninja weren't supposed to drink or have sex according to our code. We were horrible ninja and we didn't care. It wasn't like anyone cared about us.

Rayne never drank she said became too much like her father when she had alcohol but she loved pills. Ruka was always smoking now, no party needed. She said it calmed all her anxiety. She liked parties for the dancing. Maybe it was because since becoming a medic-ninja she saw way too much death for her liking. She was always the softest, the warmest too kind for her own good. She was Rayne's polar opposite. Rayne was rude, honest and cold.

"I'm free," Ruka smiled from the relaxing water or the idea of actual freedom I wasn't sure.

"Good, we all need a night to be us." Rayne sighed slumping so far down into the water below us that I could barely see her eyes.

 _Please…_

"Shikyo-chan," Ruka had moved to my right. "Has Rayne-chan been looking thin lately?"

"We've had a lot of missions lately and have been relying heavily on food pills and you know how she hates those pills." I said. Rayne rarely ate lately. I noticed it more and more but it wasn't my business if she wanted help she knew how to ask.

"I warned you two about them," she sighed. Ruka looked tired, really tired, like she needed a whole week of sleeping and then a month off to look rested. "You're actually looking older finally."

There was Ruka's old self: smiling and happy and always teasing me. The older sister I never had. So different from the one I did have. Akari. It's been over three years and I had only told Kakashi about her.

Thankfully my cheeks were already red from the steam that she couldn't tell the difference. I almost wanted to pull my towel closer to my body. I had wanted a woman's body for so long that now that it was finally developing it felt unnatural.

"She got her period," Rayne laughed. I splashed water in her face but it only made her laugh harder. "Hey stop it with the eyes. You're getting hot and you finally stopped looking like a five year old."

"Not like that stopped her from getting what she wants," Ruka joined in. I'm the youngest I was always being teased.

"I used to call us "virgin whores" but she ruined that," Rayne and Ruka continued laughing and I joined them.

We all found ways to distract ourselves.

 _Please kill me…_

"I hope you're being safe," Ruka said seriously. "Now that you can for sure have a child! I know you're always saying you are but I just want to remind you…"

"Ruka-chan, please," I said slapping my hand over her mouth. "Stop."

* * *

Ruka was dancing. I always loved watching her dance. She always looked so happy so free. I couldn't figure out how to for the longest time until I memorized how she moved. It's a useful skill to know.

The house we were in was huge. The Feudal Lord's nephew or something was throwing this party. There was minimal security which meant he either lost his guards or this was supposed to be a small gathering which got crazily out of control. There were probably over one hundred people here. It was getting harder to move around.

The house looked new or they were refurnishing it. Most rooms were bare. No decoration, no pictures, or plants. Most rooms had either a bed in a corner or a couch. The large room we were in now had a couple chairs and a couch against the wall and the rest was wide open. Loud music and bodies dancing in the low light. Rayne and I had taken the chairs and the little table.

"You know with such light security they should be glad we showed up," Rayne said. She was wearing tight black pants and a low cut white shirt showing the bones of her chest. She didn't look like a shinobi which was the point. Blending in. Being nobody.

"Water break," Ruka said coming over and grabbing my cup. I tried to tell her it was indeed not water but she was already gulping it. "Ew, how can you drink this?"

She handed me back the cup, "It gets better the more you drink."

Ruka grabbed the empty cup I had on the table. "Water please." It was dark enough in here so I activated my Soshigan and filled her cup. "That one guy from the last party is here."

"I saw him too. Cute and only has eyes for our Shikyo-chan," Rayne laughed. Her voice rolled lazily from her tongue.

I knew who they were talking about: the boy with red hair and eyes. He looked a couple years older than me, maybe sixteen. I hadn't tried to talk to him yet. He was with a different girl the few times I've seen him. It wasn't my style to slide between two people.

"Explain why each time we've seen him he's always with someone else then?" my mouth felt a little thick but it wasn't bad. Still in control but it made it so my chakra reading skills were harder to use and easier to ignore. I wanted to be a normal girl for the night. Not an anbu.

We always said if we weren't shinobi we would have ended up party girls going from village to village finding the best places to score. We'd marry rich and be totally lazy. Never have to worry about anything ever again. We would be like the ones we protected: never acknowledging the ones who died for us. It was a fantasy, so unrealistic but fun to imagine.

"Maybe he saw… you… with that girl last time. Fuck if I know… what that guy is thinking," Rayne's voice drifted in and out. Her eyes couldn't even focus on us.

"It's early and you're already fucked up," Ruka's disapproving voice was like a mother's even if she was younger than Rayne.

"Fuck. Off." Rayne spat.

I rolled my eyes at them emptying my cup in a quick gulp. Sometimes they argued like sisters, sometimes like an old married couple. It could be hard to listen to. I was going to tell them I'd be back with more drinks but they were too busy glaring at each other so I didn't bother.

I weaved my way through the crowd looking for the kitchen where all the bottles would be. I could feel myself wobble a little as I stumbled into people. Maybe I had a little too much to drink.

 _Please..._

Maybe it wasn't enough.

Finally finding my destination I looked at all the choices available.

"Need help," a smooth voice whispered in my ear.

I tried to hide how startled I was. I didn't even sense him. Too many people and drinks made my sensory abilities useless. What did it matter? It wasn't like he was a threat to me anyway.

His smirk made his red eyes sparkle. "Looking for anything in particular?"

"Lychee Sake?"

He went to the corner of the massive amount of alcohol. He was wearing all black a button up short sleeve showing off muscular arms and torso with tight pants. The dark clothes made his long red hair stand out even more. It was strange but his eyes were almost the same shade of blood red. When he returned pouring what was left of the bottle in my cup I tried not to stare.I had to think of something to say. Why was I speechless?

"I've seen you around." Good one Shikyo.

He chuckled. "I've seen you too; always with those girls... Your sisters?"

Rayne did say he saw me with that girl a month ago. "Best friends. They might as well be sisters though."

"Not you?"

The crowd was surging into the kitchen as if everyone in this house needed a drink at the same time. I nodded my head toward where I had come from and he followed me. When we entered the room where I just was with Rayne and Ruka I saw them dancing together. Ruka was probably trying to get Rayne to sober up a little. We sat where Rayne and I had originally been.

"What's your name?" I noticed now his voice definitely didn't sound sober. His tongue was thick with drink and he brought a whole bottle with us.

"What does it matter?" I asked. I never wanted names.

"Alright," he smiled like we were playing a game. "But I'd like to call you something… make something up."

"Ami." It was the name of the kunoichi from my favorite book and the first name to come to mind.

"Ami? You don't look like an Ami."

I smiled now. "You said I could make something up. Maybe that's my favorite name."

"It's such a common name though. I'm sure if I yelled for an Ami at least ten girls would come."

"Oh, I'm sure more than ten girls would be more than willing to be called Ami for a moment of your time." I laughed.

He gave me smug smirk. "I could say the same thing about you."

The question everyone always _loved_ to ask, "Lucky we have each other's attention then."

He laughed at that but didn't push the issue farther, "Fair. Well Ami-chan I'm Daichi." He held up his cup. Talk about common name. Hypocrite.

I met his with mine. "Nice to meet you."

And we talked about nothing for a while. I knew the story well. Ruka, Rayne and I were just normal girls from the village who liked to have a good time. Not from an important family nothing about us worth mentioning or remembering later. Painfully boring. Average. And so was he but I ate it up. He was going to take over his father's butchery in a year or so and he wanted to have a good time while he still could. When the topic of shinobi came up he shrugged them off. Tools. He pitied us.

So we drank the whole bottle and danced. Danced together, danced with Ruka and Rayne, danced with nameless faces until I couldn't remember anything. Could barely see anything. Couldn't focus. Could barely speak. The voice. It was gone. I was gone.

The world came into focus in a room. Daichi had his shirt off and I was on top of him. For being a civilian he sure had a muscular body but I guess throwing around carcasses would cause one to build muscles. He tasted of sake and cigarettes. I didn't mind. His hands wondering my body was all I could focus on. I was panting I needed him.

"How old are you?"

I paused. Did I seem inexperienced to him? "Am I not pleasing you?"

"No, no, you are. You just seem a little young. I don't want to take…" I cut him off with my mouth. His fingers were light on my back causing me to shiver.

I took my shirt off I wanted him to touch me everywhere. "You talk too much."

I awoke in Rayne's room on the floor. Rayne and Ruka were still sleeping in bed and the world was spinning. A pounding in my head made the world way too bright. I sat up and immediately regretted it as my stomach clenched. Luckily I was way too dehydrated for anything to happen. I crawled to the pile of clothes in the middle of the room. I had a pill or two to help with the headache; take the edge off the hangover. Plus I desperately needed water.

I've had worse hangovers I told myself filling a cup in the kitchen sink. I drank down three cups. I've had worse. I could walk. I made it to the kitchen by walking. I didn't crawl. I would be fine. My stomach clenched and all the water came immediately back up. I groaned filling my cup again. I was still so thirsty.

 _Please…_

Rayne and Ruka came stumbling in.

"At least you aren't naked like last time," Rayne mumbled sitting down at the table.

I looked down. I didn't even think of what I was wearing: Tank top and underwear. She was talking about the last year. Naked in the bathroom using my Soshigan to drink from the sink. I could barely get up then. Almost drowned myself with how out of control my chakra was. Ruka wanted to take me to the hospital. She was convinced I was going to die.

"We have an anbu meeting in an hour," Rayne moaned her head in her hands.

"New captain," I said to Ruka seeing her questioning look.

"You went that hard last night knowing you'd be…" Ruka began but I started heaving into the sink. Such a mother she came to hold my hair and rub my back.

"It's fine, Ruka." Rayne said. "Just make Shikyo breakfast. She'll bounce back."

Ruka steered me toward the table and sat me down my cup filled with water. I laid my head in my arm the pills growing sticky in my sweaty hand.

"Don't take those until after you eat," Rayne ordered.

I wanted to tell her to shut up. Her voice was her hurting my head. I knew how to deal with a hangover. I'd be fine.

"So what happened with that redhead?" Ruka asked.

I could hear the stove turning on and the smell the eggs. My stomach twisted. "What always happens." I breathed.

"You guys were gone for a while, plus, your neck is a mess." Rayne laughed.

"I'll heal them in a minute." Ruka piped in.

I nodded. Flashes of last night coming back to me. "He was better than most." I heard myself mumble.

Ruka screeched causing me to wince. "Is my little Shikyo-chan in loooove."

I saw Rayne smile at my pained look. "A good fuck and love are different."

"Breakfast," Ruka said giving Rayne and I a plate of sunny side up eggs and toast. She grabbed her own plate and sat next to Rayne.

This was Rayne's place. She moved out of her mom's when we became chunin. We always stayed here. Sometimes it felt like we were all living in this one bedroom apartment.

I pushed around the food more than ate it but it stayed down so I swallowed the two pills.

"Wait, two, Shikyo!" Rayne tried to stop me.

"I need it," I whined. "One doesn't do it for me anymore."

Ruka looked perplexed like she wanted to say something but she thought better of it. She finished her breakfast and looked at my neck.

She let out a low whistle, "I can tell you had fun. The phoenix covers the ones on your shoulders so I'll get your neck."

"Thanks, Ruka-chan."

"I always wondered does anyone ever ask why you have a huge tattoo on your back," Rayne asked nibbling at her bread.

"Not really," I said simply. I felt his hands on me again tracing the feathers so lightly, the heat of his fingers mingling with the phoenix. I shivered but Ruka must have thought it was more gagging.

"You leave for how long when you're 11 and come back with a tattoo. You take teenage rebellion a little too seriously," Ruka joked while I felt my skin being healed. I had to close my eyes the glow of her hands hurt. "All done."

They didn't know what the phoenix really was. What I learnt in the Land of Water of my heritage. I couldn't tell anyone. I tried telling Kakashi multiple times but I just couldn't get the words out. For some reason I couldn't tell anyone that I was a monster and the only reason I was alive was to die.

 _Please…kill me._

"I'm going to take a shower," I said standing up.

"Make it quick, we're leaving after." Rayne called.

"She's drinking too much lately," I heard Ruka say to Rayne.

"And you know exactly why," Rayne snapped.

The heat made me feel a lot better. I washed the sweat off my skin and hair. Stepping out I used my Soshigan to dry myself. Rayne had thrown my anbu uniform in here. I didn't even notice. I threw my hair in a bun on top of my head. It was getting too long now near my waist. Maybe I would cut it soon.

Rayne was dressed when I came out. Ruka was still wearing shorts and a long t-shirt. She worked tonight at the hospital. She was really considering just working fulltime there. No more missions.

We all nodded. It was so weird how the shinobi mask came so easily over us our duty before ourselves. Konoha should be proud. I felt like we owed it nothing.

When we entered the compound most shinobi were gone. It was later in the day so either most were on missions or at home. We headed towards Danzo's meeting room. My feline-like mask thankfully covering my face. I was still sweaty and I was sure paler than normal. Rayne's mask was fox themed. She said she didn't feel that bad today lucky her.

Our new captain was standing next to Danzo. He had a hawk-like mask and a cloak covering his anbu uniform. Danzo old and bandaged stared at us. We bowed simultaneously. I could sense our new captain's chakra, but he didn't have much or was very good at hiding it plus it wasn't elemental based so that made it a little harder for me to sense. Danzo was good at hiding his chakra but since I knew what I was looking for I could still sense him. His chakra was ugly and I hated it. There was too much pain in it. I never tried to focus on it for too long.

"Soshi," that was my codename. "And Ichika," Rayne's code name."Kaito has your new mission; dismissed."

That was it? We had been wondering why we were being assigned to a new captain. We had one before, a woman, when we went for information. Would we be having different kind of missions now?

We made it to the locker room before Rayne finally said something. "Are we not going to work on our teamwork first?" She sounded annoyed.

"The mission is in two days, we could do some teamwork exercises before then," he said shrugging.

"Don't you want to know what we're capable of?" I asked. My voice sounded thick and deeper than normal.

"I know what you two do, this won't be much different…well now you'll have to kill more." He amended.

My first few missions before Rayne joined involved killing. I can kill without making a mark on the body. I felt like they wasted away our potential but we did do so much for village. How many attacks have we stopped? Looking back at my younger self I was so dedicated to this village and protecting everyone in it but now... I knew I shouldn't think what I was thinking. I never said it out loud. Even Rayne who was always angry never said one bad word about the village. Why was it just me and this anger inside?

Kaito took off his mask. I held in my gasp and thanked the gods for my mask. Daichi? How? I should have sensed it but I didn't sense any chakra from him last night and I didn't see the anbu tattoo. How did I miss this? Rayne stiffened and I saw her look at me. What do I do? He will eventually see my face.

I slowly, painfully took my mask off. Even his neutral face couldn't hide his shock. I had spent years learning body language. He couldn't hide it. "You…"

"Oh we're so fucked," Rayne muttered taking her mask off. Her copper eyes glowed with her irritation.

I didn't know what to say as we stared at each other. What could I say? "Sorry." I don't know why but it was all that could come out.

"We can't…we won't speak of this ever again." He put his mask back on and he left.

"Well seems you two already worked on your teambuilding skills," Rayne scoffed. I could tell from her face she was as just as shaken as I was.

"I should quit the team, go back to being a chunin or something," I felt like I was going to throw up again.

"Fuck that, you're fourteen, he's at least sixteen, and he should be able to control himself. Shikyo," I looked at her. I didn't want to deal with this. I wanted to hide. She put both her hands on my shoulders and her copper eyes stared into mine. "You can't sleep with him ever again. You hear me? Ever."

I remembered the light and rough touches of last night an almost perfect blend. Something inside me wouldn't let him go that easy.

* * *

"You can't be serious," Ruka said shaking her head.

Rayne had just finished filling her in. I still couldn't believe it. I felt so sick. I just wanted to disappear. Ruka had listened to the whole story her mouth falling open wider with each detail.

"I think I'll go home," I said. I was sitting on Rayne's couch my head in my hands. I couldn't tell if I was feeling bad from the situation or the hangover. Maybe it was a combination of the two.

"Are you sure? You can stay here," Rayne offered.

Gods how bad did I look that she was being nice to me. "No, I'm fine."

"Shikyo…" but I had already turned to wind and was on my way home Ruka's voice like an eerie whisper following me.

 _Please…please…_

I appeared in our living room. I couldn't sense any chakra. "Kakashi?" it was quiet. His dogs weren't even here. How long had he been gone now almost a week? When would he be back? Everything was as neat and as tidy as I left it. I hadn't spent much time here lately either always with the girls.

 _Kill me…_

"Shut up," I hissed at myself. Now was not the time. Going up to my room I threw off my anbu uniform leaving me naked. If I take a bath would I feel better? Would it help me focus or would I be able to ignore what was happening? What did I want right now?

 _Please…_

"Stop."

 _Please…kill me…_

"Shutupshutupshutup," I was grabbing my head. Her voice was still haunting me all these years later. Why? Just go away leave me alone. I needed clarity. I needed…

A forearm pinned me against the wall. I could feel a gasp stuck in my throat. I was losing it. I didn't even sense him. That stupid fucking voice that wouldn't go away. Even now him pinning me I couldn't sense a chakra signature. His red eyes were glaring into my blue eyes. I turned to wind and appeared on the other side of my room.

"What the fuck are you doing here," I hissed rubbing my throat.

He looked where I just was and then back to me confused. He's my new captain didn't he read my file?

"Who sent you after me?" he demanded.

"What?" Sent me? What did he mean by that?

He scoffed and threw a shirt from the floor at me. "Get dressed."

I caught it. It wasn't like he didn't just see me naked last night. I put the shirt on. It was a long on me one that I normally slept in so it went to my knees.

"Look Kaito-san," I had to be polite.

"Who sent you?" he cut me off.

I groaned. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're anbu and you just happen to appear at all the parties I went to?" he mocked.

"Look, you went after me…" I started.

"Because that was your mission: to entice me," he cut me off again.

Okay, now I was annoyed. Was he really going to stand there in my house and call me a whore? "No. One. Sent. Me." I stressed every word trying to get through his thick skull.

"Then why were you there?"

I sighed and sat on my bed. What was wrong with him? Why did he think I was sent to sleep with him? Sure, I'm sometimes sent to do that but mostly we're just there in the background over hearing what our enemies say. The few times where we would have to sleep with someone on those missions we somehow got out of it. A lot of time Rayne would jump in and say we're a packaged deal and cast her genjutsu when we were alone. We had never actually slept with anyone we didn't want to. Even if we were looked down upon and called whores we knew we weren't we kept our dignities.

"I didn't know who you were. I saw you a couple times, _you_ talked to me and I like to forget for a few hours," I stared straight into his eyes. He was still standing by the far wall.

"Then…you weren't sent to test me?" he asked slowly.

"No, I was just as shocked as you were."

Kaito put his hand on his head like he was thinking too hard about the situation. "That doesn't make sense, I'm sure Danzo-sama knew. He always knows."

That's what this was about. "Were you supposed to be protecting someone?" Did I distract him from his duty? I had seen him with girls before. It can't be that.

"No."

"Then why are you so sure I was sent to sleep with you?"

He started pacing. What in the world was his problem? I should make him leave. "What's your real name? So far I've been told Ami and Soshi."

"I don't think…"

"I'm Kai," he bowed a little. "Given our complicated situation I would like to actually know who I'm dealing with."

"My name is Shikyo."

"Why do you live with Kakashi Hatake?" I stared at him, how did he know? "I was looking around your house before you got here."

"His sister was my mother; this should all be in my file. Didn't they give you one on us?" I asked.

"All the file had on you two were your mission details and codenames, nothing about who you really are." He kept pacing like he couldn't look at me for too long. "How old are you?"

I rolled my eyes. I don't look that young. "Fourteen, and you?"

"Sixteen, turning seventeen in about a month," he looked very annoyed now. "God you're so young but I guess I shouldn't be surprised given what you do."

"Shut up," I hissed. "I only sleep with people I want to sleep with got it? I'm not some whore for the village."

"But your missions…"

I stood up and I could feel my Soshigan activate as the ground started to shake. My anger and Kekkei Genkai caught him off guard. "I do what I can for my village, but I don't spread my legs for it."

"The Soshigan," Kai came closer completely ignoring the threat I was and looked into my snowflake eyes, "I've heard about it, a girl in the village with a dojutsu no one had seen or heard of… I see that's why you have a picture of the Clan Killer Itachi Uchiha."

 _Stay calm._ I couldn't let the world shake again so I kept my face as expressionless as possible. Itachi. I hadn't thought about him in a while. When I came back from The Land of Water when I was 11, or was it 12 it's hard to remember, I was questioned extensively if I knew what he was planning. If I left so close to the massacre because I was scared for my own life. I didn't know. I knew he was stressed and there was a lot on his mind but never once did I consider he's do that…It was still hard to believe. I should check on Sasuke again. I know he told me never to talk to him again but I always felt relieved when I saw him alive.

"And? Are you done?" I deactivated my Soshigan.

"Not even close," he said stepping back. "I have so many questions."

I sighed sitting down on my bed again. I grabbed under my pillow and pulled out a bottle. I couldn't handle this sober. "I'm a terrible shinobi I go against all the rules…maybe we have that in common."

He looked stricken. "I…"

"You don't have to defend yourself to me," I took a gulp.

He sat down in front of me and held his hand out. I passed him the bottle. "More lychee sake?" I shrugged at him.

I reached towards my bedside table and grabbed the photo of Rayne, Ruka and I. We took it last year. I had one of us when we were genin with my mother and one when we all got promoted to chunin. I can't remember the reason why we took this one last year maybe because we were all taking separate paths at that moment and didn't want to let each other go.

I pointed at Rayne, "Her name is Rayne."

"And the one with the different coloured eyes?"

"Ruka, she's a medic ninja now, considering being a full time doctor." I explained. I don't know why I was telling him all about us but I guess he could just look it up and would when he left but I wanted him to know us the real us. "We've been together since we were genin." I reached into the drawer of my bedside table and pulled out our genin photo.

"How old were all of you," he seemed shocked by how young we looked but it could also be because I looked five.

"They were ten and I was eight. That's my mother."

"You were all so young. Obviously I knew you all had talent if you're anbu young but…. What can you do exactly? The Soshigan I mean?"

I put the picture away and grabbed the bottle out of his hand taking a drink. It was never a good idea to drink on an empty stomach but I could be sick later. Two day until the mission. "I control the elements."

I activated my Soshigan and held my free hand up, I focused chakra into it fire appeared, then water, and then lightning. I made the wind blow around my room blowing our hair around our faces. He felt that earthquake he knew it was me. I took another drink. I could already feel it.

"You're beautiful you know," he said grabbing the bottle from me as if he needed liquid courage to keep talking. He polished the bottle off and put it between us like it would stop him from doing something we'd regret. "You wore all that makeup last night like you were trying to look older but your eyes…"

He reached out and moved a stray piece of hair out of my face. I held my breath. He was so close and he was touching me. The alcohol was trying to take effect but Rayne's voice was echoing in my head. His face was moving closer to mine making the sweet smell of the sake invade my senses. What was it about him that lured me in? Where was this attraction coming from?

"We can't." Why did I say that? I moved my face to the side trying to break the tension by moving his hand away from my face.

"Why?" I could hear the strain in his voice and even disappointment but he didn't move his hand out of my grip.

"Rayne was very adamant that we couldn't continue with…whatever what this is."

"And what is this?" I looked at him at that question. What kind of question was that? We couldn't be in a relationship he's my captain. It was very unprofessional…but then again so was this whole situation.

"I'm not looking for a relationship," I said plainly.

He sighed with…relief? "Oh good, for some reason I thought you might be expecting a lot from me," he laughed pulling it out a flask from his back pocket. He took a long drink and handed it to me. I took a drink and it tasted so strong I almost wanted to spit it out. "Not for the faint of heart but it'll get the job done faster than your sweet sake."

And it was almost instant. The world started feeling lopsided and I was relaxing. The anxiety that constantly followed me was slowing down as well. And there was Kai drinking something disgusting and talking about how we didn't know each other at all. I wonder if it's the alcohol that keeps him talking. I noticed it loosened my tongue as well.

"I don't like it," I could feel the revulsion on my face. I handed it back.

"Hang out with me more and you'll learn to," he smirked like he did last night. I could feel the tension between us rising again and my lack of clothing was becoming more and more apparent to me. He drained the rest of flask and I felt my heart start beating faster and faster in my chest.

"We shouldn't," I said weakly looking at the hands in my lap. Who was I trying to convince him or myself?

"You don't seem like the kind of girl that likes to take orders…being a bad shinobi as you put it," he whispered

I tried and failed not to smile at that. I looked up meeting his eyes, "I'll have to start following your orders soon."

He leaned in and a protest died on my tongue. His hand on the back of my neck not letting me escape; his lips blending into mine. The other hand on my thigh going slowly up my long shirt. I had to stop this but I couldn't. He made me feel alive for the first time since my mother died. I had a soul that ached to be touched and he somehow found a way to take the edge off it. Maybe it _was_ loneliness that made me act this way but this filled me something I never expected to find.

"Tell me to stop," he whispered in my lips his fingers teasing me. An ache was slowly forming in the pit of my stomach. How could I tell him to stop when I wanted this more than air?

I reached up and held his face in front of mine. "Don't stop."

And I gave into whatever this was. I didn't think of the consequences of what this would unfold for us. Why should I care when this felt right. For the first time something felt right. I didn't even care when he left the second it was over.

* * *

Author's Note:

So this chapter really got away from me I hope you enjoyed it anyway!

Next chapter won't have a flashback since this one got its own chapter.

Thanks to everyone who reads this. :)


	12. Rabbit Heart

The storm was going strong outside the cave. I had created a barrier so the heat from the fire I had going wouldn't escape. Itachi was still unconscious. I had carried him to this cave. He's lucky I sensed one close by I almost felt like leaving him to the elements.

His chakra was slowly going up while mine was draining. Alright, I shouldn't have. I know I shouldn't have but I couldn't let Amaterasu go out without knowing if I could control it and let me tell you carrying a passed out Uchiha slung over your shoulders and concentrating on a fire that wanted to burn itself out was almost impossible.

My hand was shaking; my eyes and ears were bleeding. It was causing so much strain on me keeping the flame alive, it would just eat more and more of my chakra. I can understand why Itachi collapsed but this was a reckless move on his part. Maybe a power move because I was getting too complacent around him? Did he want me to fear him? Given his history and skill set he could kill me easily. I knew that. And I couldn't die. I still had a mission…one that I've been neglecting.

I have plenty of notes on all the members I faced but I was never alone long enough to send it to the village. I sucked as a spy. They probably thought I was dead. Who knows maybe I will be soon. I don't see how I'm useful to this organization at all. They have Akari. What could I do for them?

"What are you doing?"

I was so lost in my reverie I didn't even notice he woke up. I was panting and while I had gotten the blood out of my hair I could feel my own dripping down my face, down my neck. I was a mess.

"Element," I grunted pointing my free hand at the flames. "Elemental wielder." I pointed at myself. Less talking was needed. I needed to concentrate if I were to make this myself.

He didn't say anything after that. I was too focused on the task in my hand to pay attention to what he was doing. I closed my hand. Amaterasu died out. I wanted to sigh in relief. The strain that the fire held on my body immediately left me leaving behind a heavy wave of lethargy that made me want to curl around the fire and sleep. I had to ignore it. A weary mind lost focus and I was too invested in this to not follow through.

I closed my eyes prepared for the worst. I flicked my hand open along with my eyes. I could see the chakra forming in a slow circle around where I wanted the flame to burn. I hissed feeling the amount of chakra leave my body. I was almost starting to shake with anticipation. Could I actually do this? And there it was my hand burst out in flame.

And it was blue…

 _Blue_ …

"What the…" I slumped to my knees. I was too tired and my anger was taking over. The phoenix's fire? I didn't think I could call upon It. The world was spinning. My vision was getting darker and darker. I couldn't faint I wouldn't but maybe sleep would be good... just a few minutes… I felt my eyes close.

"Shikyo." But his voice was too far way to pull me back from the abyss.

The sound of rain pulled me from my dream. It mixed in with the sound of her young voice still demanding the same thing of me all these years later. I could feel the fire still going near me and I could still feel my barrier I created at the mouth of the cave trapping the heat in. Itachi was near me but…asleep. His chakra was still slowly building. My chakra reserves were almost full again. The storm was giving me more energy than I'd normally get on my own.

I opened my eyes. Itachi was on the other side of the fire. I could see the flame's shadow dancing across his cloak. The sun was beginning to rise but it wouldn't make much difference with how hard the storm was going. We had lost half a day of travel because of that clan and…our…recklessness. I needed to get a grip but so did Itachi. It was like we were children again constantly trying to outdo the other. He always won then. What competition did I pose? I was nothing compared to an Uchiha. Nothing.

I sat up slowly stretching my back facing the fire. I would let Itachi sleep as long as he needed. We could make up the lost time faster if he was in decent shape. The mission would be annoying but we would get it done and then I could go back to gathering more intelligence against the Leaf's enemy. My distraction would be gone. Akari and I weren't exactly making up but we were getting along. She was still my sister. Some part of me loved her as much as I hated her.

I tried not to think of Ruka and Rayne. The girls I considered my sisters before I knew I had one. I would probably never see them again. When I got news of my mission I told them we needed a girl's day. We went to the sauna. I let Ruka dress me up and do my hair. I didn't argue with Rayne the whole day. We went to our favorite restaurant. I tried making it a great memory for them to look back on for the rest of their lives.

I wonder what they thought about what happened to me. Kai would have to calm them down. Normally that was my duty when it was the both of them. The team had a strange dynamic. Kai and I were one pair and Ruka and Rayne were the other. We were each other's keepers. If one was acting out it was the responsibility of the other to get them back on track. If it was both Ruka and Rayne it was my job. If it was all three of us Kai had to step in.

We had the odd situations Rayne and I going at it or sometimes Ruka and Kai would argue but for the most part we were always on the same page. My team. Kai was supposed to be team leader initially but when we formed the team he told the Hokage I was better suited for the job.

My last day with Kai I was unkind. I had broken it off with him in the beginning of the year. Since I turned 18 I knew I wouldn't have much time left and it wasn't fair to him to waste his time with me. I kept as much distance between us this whole year. I could even tell he wanted to leave the team for a while but that night after I left Ruka and Rayne I went to him. Not to sleep with him. I think he expected that when I showed up but I just wanted to be with him. I was selfish and wanted to be held one last time. We had three years of an on and off tumultuous relationship. I would probably always cherish him but he deserved more than I could give.

Lightning struck tearing me, thankfully, away from my brooding. It was best not to think of my friends. Kakashi included whom I missed more than I thought I would. I stood up and took my cloak off. If I couldn't make my mind go blank I would force it.

I stepped into the rain. The wind made my long hair tangle and the rain stung my skin. I wasn't wearing much: spandex shorts and my fishnets with a sports bra so the cold demanded all my attention. Water was the first chakra nature I discovered. I actually don't remember how I learned how to control it or when my Soshigan was first activated. It was like I first came to being when I was four. Akari refused to tell me more from before that time. Wind was the third element I could use. Akari said I went out of order growing up in the Leaf. I should have learned Water, Wind, Lightning, Fire and then Earth. My eyes were snow. Wind should have come much easier than it did although I did master all the elements in the end.

I activated my Soshigan. My sensor skills were not remarkable but in a storm with wind and water raging around me I could sense as far as the storm was alive. It was like I became part of it. The storm was huge the rainy season had begun with ferocity. Would the winter be just as frightening? Would I live to see it? Did I want to?

A part of me could understand why all those rogue ninja were so devoted to the Akatsuki and I had to continually remind myself why I was here. I was not here of my own will like the rest. Some investigating and I found out it was because Akari, with I guess some help from Itachi, (even Orochimaru had mentioned me before) convinced them I would be useful. For what I still didn't know. It had to do with the phoenix I just didn't know exactly what.

There was a point in my life where I considered becoming a rouge ninja. When I was 15 and I ran away for a couple months I should have been considered one. Once was excusable but twice? They should have left me a chunin or punished me somehow. The third Hokage always had such a soft spot for me for some reason. I don't think I deserved his mercy but I was grateful. I still am.

My relationship with the village had strengthened the last two years. My resentment though, never really left me. I could ignore it however; I could look past all the things I disagreed with now. Tsunade is a great leader. When she became Hokage I demanded her to assign me the craziest and most dangerous missions. I didn't need a team if she felt it was too much to ask the others. She accused me of having a death wish. I did but I didn't. I just knew I was going to die soon. I think that's why she let me do this. If anyone could do this it would be me. _She_ even heard rumors of me during her time away from the village.

The rain had drenched my hair but I wasn't cold, not yet. There weren't any chakra signatures to worry about. No one was in this storm; either hidden or not willing to go out in it. I would check again soon but no one was looking for us from what I could tell.

I looked back at the cave as I deactivated my Soshigan. Itachi stood in the opening of the cave just inside the barrier I made. It was wind charka. It would keep the heat from the fire in and let the smoke leave. It hid our chakra signatures and wouldn't let anyone in. I couldn't sense him. He was so close but it was like he wasn't even there. Good to know I still have some tricks.

He wasn't wearing his cloak now just his regular ninja attire. His hair was out of the ponytail he normally had it in and his Sharingan was activated. Was he wondering about what I was doing? Could the Sharingan see how my chakra melded with the storm jumping from raindrop to raindrop in all directions? We locked eyes as his eyes turned back to their regular onyx colour.

The rain gave me clarity from the turbulent emotions he always evoked in me. Why was he being so… kind to me? I wasn't used to it. Was he being told to do this? Try to keep me at ease when all it was doing was putting me more on edge? Or… I really couldn't see any other reason. He had to still see me as that little girl who looked like she never grew up. An eager little girl who wanted to please everyone. The scared little girl who was never really sure if she'd be abandoned all over again.

He never met the angry me. He said I changed and I had. Far more than he will know but he said he could still see the old me. Was she becoming harder and harder to see? I remember thinking a lot about how I wasn't feeling like myself anymore and wanting to be the old me but sometimes that's who you become. Or was it that the old me found it easier to come out when confronted with so much from my past.

"Good morning, Itachi," I said as I walked back into the cave.

He didn't answer me he looked one last time at the barrier and then back at me. That's what he was trying to do, figure out the jutsu. "What is this?"

"A wind barrier. A clan secret." I winked. That was a lie.

I sat down by the fire. I could dry myself but this would take more time and I could see he needed it. Probably breakfast too.

"Are you hungry, Itachi?" I asked warming my hands. "I'm still a decent cook."

I had lost the love for it. Cooking. It used to be all I did in my free time when I wasn't training: making anyone around try my recipes. I always brought lunch when we trained together and made his favorite dessert on his birthdays. I only found out his birthday when he lost a bet to me.

I pulled my wet hair over my shoulder feeling it drip on my legs and let it soak in the heat. "Why not dry yourself?" Itachi asked.

I looked up at him he was standing near the fire but not near me. He also wasn't exactly looking at me more like looking through me. Not focusing on me. "Do your eyes hurt?" I couldn't help myself from asking.

The look he gave me… I saw surprise, confusion and then anger. I could help. Pain was a different healing than wounds.

"I can help," I said looking into the fire. "I'm…capable of helping if you'd like."

He didn't move. He closed his eyes as if the conversation would stop.

"I know Amaterasu causes pain in your eye. It bleeds. I could barely look at it." Ruka taught me years ago how to ease the pain. I wouldn't go blind from using my Soshigan but overuse makes my eyesight blurry and sometimes made it hard to open them. Last night they hurt from all the focusing on Amaterasu but I felt better when I woke up.

He kneeled in front of me his eyes still closed. He was actually going to let me do this? Would it be both or just the right one? I put my hands over his eyes. This wasn't about making your cells multiply to heal a wound it was about the nerves inside your body. It was fooling your brain into ignoring them.

I could feel his warm skin against my still cold hands and focused my chakra. I've never done this to anyone but myself before. I kept all my thoughts on my task. Ignoring the fact that this was the longest we've been this close since that night in his room. It took longer than it did when I did it to myself. His nerves were stubborn and took convincing.

A flash of emotion went through me. It was an almost emptiness caused by a deep… sorrow. I had to ignore it. I've become very good at blocking out emotions caused by chakra reading but since I was connecting our chakras they were still washing over me.

I could see the tension leave his body when I withdrew my hands. It took more chakra than I expected but as long as this journey didn't have any more delays I would be fine.

"I thought you said you weren't proficient in healing jutsu."

I smirked "The brain is easy to persuade."

* * *

We walked through the storm for days but it didn't slow us. We did cut through the Land of Fire to make up some time but no complications arose. I wasn't sure who was more stubborn during our journey me or Itachi. Pushing our bodies to their limits. Waiting for the other to break down first. Little victories. Were we on the same side? Or did he know we weren't on the same side at all. I had a mission. He had his own. Whatever it was he had to have something driving him in life and he didn't let anyone get on his way.

We had stopped by a lake near the border of the Land of Frost and the Land of Lightning. We slept under the trees the storm had left a day ago and I could sense nothing coming our way. We would probably reach our destination tonight.

Itachi slept near a tree still in the shade from the rising sun. I had been awake since the break of dawn. I wasn't sure what it was something in me felt like I had to do something. I had taken a swim in the lake tried to let the elements talk to me but I couldn't understand what was calling to me.

I stood my bare feet in the cold water my eyes closed listening to the gentle breeze fluttering about. I couldn't tell what direction I was being called from. Was it because this could have been my homeland? My eyes were snow. Was this supposed to be where I was supposed to end up? There was something calling me like the Land of Water did but I didn't even belong there either. I had tried two times and both times I went running back to Konoha; to my friends waiting patiently for my return.

I looked at Itachi still sleeping. Even sleeping he didn't look at peace. I had asked a couple times for our mission scroll and he wouldn't allow me to see it. He was hiding something. It was the only thing that made sense as to why he was being nice to me. There was something on that scroll he didn't want me to see. I had some mission that I wasn't being told about. And I wasn't sure how dangerous it was going to be.

I sensed a shift in his chakra. Was my gaze waking him up? I looked back across the small lake as heard him wake. I closed my eyes again feeling the Sharingan on my back. I had gotten used it. I could ignore it but when I made him mad like I did the other day… When I didn't let the fact that I wasn't told everything about our mission drop he activated his Mangekyo and I _felt_ the terror take over me. Something about that change in chakra over rode my senses and I had to back down. Maybe it was just a survival instinct warning me something was very wrong with Itachi Uchiha. I doubt our clans were ever supposed to interact like we were.

Itachi came near me standing in the ankle deep water. "What are you doing?"

I opened one eye to look at him. "Letting the elements talk to me."

"And what are they saying?"

I closed my eye, took a deep breath and let my senses take over and… I gasped as my hand shot out taking Itachi's. I tried opening my eyes but couldn't. I could feel the wind push through us and the once tranquil water bubbling at my feet. I could see…pain. Blood. Terror. Confusion. Violence.

"War." I whispered.

I let go of Itachi's hand as the wind died and the water calmed. My whole body was shaking. It was like I was transferred to the battleground. But when was it? Was that an old war imprinted on the land like a scar or was it something to come?

"War?" Itachi's voice was soft.

I walked back to the ashes of our fire from last night. Without even thinking about it the fire started as I sat in front of it trying to make sense of the vision.

"It was an old war… before the nations were established. My clan was here fighting…your clan." I looked at Itachi.

"All the clans were fighting in the old days." Itachi said standing near me.

"I know but your clan's history with the Senju clan is legendary. The land of Frost is a strange place for the Uchihas to be… and fighting my clan." I looked at Itachi and shrugged. "It's just an old vision of my people from the phoenix."

Itachi stared back at me. I wandered if I looked as crazy as I sounded. Talking of things that happened generations ago. From what I know about history it would make sense for our clans to fight. Practically every clan fought back then.

I sighed, "You know this is where I would have been sent."

Itachi looked at me curiously and I saw his eyes glance at the lake quickly.

I laughed, "Not here, here. The Land of Frost." I activated my Soshigan. "If my clan had enough members obviously but on the rare occasions when a child was born with different eyes than the nation they were born in they'd be sent away."

"Not the Land of Snow?" he asked.

I shrugged. "From what I read the Land of Frost is where they sent snow eyes."

I closed my eyes and the fire died along with my Kekkei Genkai. I sealed away the blanket I had back into my scroll. I looked at Itachi who was looking ahead at the road.

"Something wrong?" I asked putting my cloak back on. It still felt foreign to wear it.

He looked down at me and started walking.

I guess not. I followed giving a last look at the lake. My vision showed me my clan gaining the advantage to the Uchihas. They were relying on jutsu and, well, the only thing my clan ever had going for it was the fact elemental jutsus were useless against us. I smirked a little catching up to Itachi.

"When did you learn more about your clan?" he asked into the silent morning.

"The second time I ran away." I said. "No, I guess I learned a lot when I was eleven." _But you weren't there when I came home._ "Anyway, I met with Akari twice."

"And you decided you would kill her on your third meeting?" he asked unexpectedly.

I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face. "No. if I wanted her dead she'd be dead."

Itachi looked at me from the corner of his eye. "You sound very certain."

"I am. It's the duty of the younger child to exceed the eldest…" I trailed off. The words sounded familiar like he said that to me long ago but when?

Did he just roll his eyes at me? "You sound like when we were young."

"And that means?"

"Overtly confident."

I scoffed. "I'm just being honest." I _felt_ the difference in the land of lightning. We just crossed the border.

"With your lack of control?" he nodded toward my hands.

I looked down confused and felt my fingers tingle as I unconsciously moved lightning through them. I shook my hands and stopped the sparks. "We just entered the Land of Lightning."

"Explains why your breath became visible when we entered the Land of Frost." He looked at me curiously. "I thought you said you mastered your Kekkei Genkai?"

"I have!" I defended.

He closed his eyes to me. That was probably the most we have spoken without pissing each other off this entire trip. Was my control slipping? No it couldn't be. Nothing happened when we passed through the other lands. And I've traveled to almost every country and I've never noticed anything like what was happening happen. I glanced at Itachi who was looking straight ahead. He was the only thing different.

An ear splitting screech rang through the early morning. Itachi and I stopped at the same time and locked eyes.

"Do your eyes see anything?" I asked making the wind blow around us.

Itachi looked all around but didn't say anything. I couldn't sense anything through the wind. Another screech rang out; not as loud this time, it almost sounded weaker.

"It sounds like a cat." Itachi mused.

"A _cat?_ They make noises like that?" I asked. As much as I've always wanted a cat I've never actually been around many. Uchihas have a connection with ninja cats he would know what they sounded like.

"When they're fighting." He looked at me. "I took you to the ninja cats when we were young."

"I remember but I never heard…" The cat screeched again and it was definitely hurt. I looked down at the earth. My wind couldn't find them but maybe…

I slammed my hand down through the surface until my hand was covered to the wrist. I've only done this a couple time, all the plant life was hard to distinguish between, it makes finding what I'm looking for more difficult. I focused. If they were fighting there would be a disturbance I just had to find it.

"Found her." I mumbled and took off ignoring Itachi. Maybe it was foolish to want to stop wild animals but something told me help. Not very Akatsuki like of me I suppose. Oh, well.

I slowed down when I reached where I last sensed the injured feline. Whatever it was that attacked was gone but the area showed the scuffle. The shifted dirt and blood showed the tale. I followed the blood to a bush. I moved it a little to the side when I heard the weak hiss. I pushed farther in and saw the white cat now stained red. It was panting and obviously hurt but somehow had the energy to swipe at my hand.

"Hey girl. It's okay let me help." I cooed. I reached with my other hand towards her. She reached out and scratched my hand but I ignored it. "It's okay girl. I won't hurt you." She backed up farther into the bush.

"She's hiding her kitten from you," Itachi said appearing behind me.

"Wha..?" the cat tried to lunge at me but fell and I saw the white with orange kitten hidden behind her. It hissed a pitifully.

"She won't make it and the kitten will soon follow." Itachi looked away from me.

I reached through the plant and felt the cat ignoring her hissing. Itachi was right she was fading even now. If Ruka was here I had no doubt she could save her but I can't I wouldn't even know how to begin healing an animal.

"I'll take good care of your kitten," I whispered petting her head. "You don't have to worry she'll be safe with me." she stopped hissing and her gaze held me. She could understand me and was holding me to my word. "I promise. Everything will be okay. You can go to sleep knowing she's taken care of."

She closed her eyes and I reached passed her and took the tiny kitten in my hand. Her ears and bobtail were the only orange parts on her the rest was white. I held her to my chest and she immediately started purring. I stood up and saw Itachi staring at me. He seemed to ignore me as he reached for the kitten taking her from my hand. She fit perfectly in his hand. "She'll need a name." he handed her back and walked back to the road.

We made it past Kumogakure; with me sensing the ninja before they could us and Itachi's genjutsu no one knew how easily we made it through their land. I decided on the name of Kori for the kitten. I thought about naming her Tora after the cat in the books I loved but she deserved her own name. She liked lying on my shoulder or in my shirt. She also liked Itachi. When we stopped for lunch she walked right over to him as he ate. I saw him pet her when he thought I wasn't looking. She could eat meat; at least she still wasn't nursing. She must have been the runt of the litter. I tried not to think of what happened to her brothers and sisters.

I could see the destination ahead of us. I had my Soshigan activated. Our Kekkei Genkai were how we were going to make it in this village. It had tall walls and guards closely spaced along the perimeter. Nothing would get in without their knowledge. A very private village.

"I've been here before." I suddenly realized. "When I was a genin."

Itachi barely looked at me. "Not surprising."

"Which clan hired us?" I demanded.

Itachi didn't look at me he kept staring straight ahead. I could feel him willing me to be quiet.

"Itachi. What. Clan." I hissed grabbing his arm.

He finally looked at me. "We're almost there. Control yourself." He shook my hold off.

It couldn't be the clan I was thinking of. It couldn't. We eliminated their business nearly ten years ago. They had nothing left after we were done…but I didn't keep track of them for the past four years? In fact since I left the Anbu I hadn't checked up on any of the clans involved in the flesh trade. I tried to forget what I used to do. I blocked it all out.

When we came upon the gate to the village the guards eyed us with untrusting eyes. The wooden structure looked like I remember it. It had the Kanji for the Land of Lightning in the middle opening, a watch tower on either side with more going down the metallic fence that surrounded the village. Not much had changed.

The Fog village. That's what they called it. Surrounded by mountains on all sides it's always storming here so when the fog gets trapped in this small valley it helps the village blend in thanks to their gray walls. Some days it's practically invisible unless you know where you're going.

"Business here?" one guard asked. Itachi didn't say anything but handed the man a scroll. He nodded at his partner and signaled to the watch tower above. The gate barely opened enough for one person to pass through. "Welcome to Fog Village. We value our privacy here and respect the privacy of our guests no matter who they are."

He knew who Itachi was. He looked nervous but didn't let that get in the way of his duty. The other guard was eyeing my face, my eyes, not even trying to hide his curiosity.

"Where would we find a hotel for us?" Itachi asked.

I guess I couldn't just lead us around. That might be suspicious even if the people liked to mind their own that didn't mean they wouldn't notice how an outsider knew exactly where to go. It had been ten years but we stayed here for months and I remembered a lot more than I wanted.

"If you're looking for a cheap hotel you can stay on the main road. If you and your wife would like a more luxurious stay take a left at the café." He answered.

 _Wife?_ I tried to hold in my sneer at the thought as I followed Itachi into the village. It looked pretty familiar. Some new shops and old ones I remember from my genin days. The old hotel where we stayed at had been repainted a bright white but I could see the paint was starting to chip. Years ago it was just a wooden hotel with maybe ten rooms. The three of us hanging out, arguing, laughing, trying to ignore what would be happening that night.

Itachi walked right passed it so I guess we were going to the fancy hotel. It was dusk not many people were out and as we turned pass the café it was closing down although I could still smell the sweets they undoubtedly made fresh. It made my mouth water even Kori popped out from my shirt from the scents. When we passed a pet shop I made a mental note to go there in the morning to get some supplies. I wonder if they still had that book store. It was a couple streets away. I would have to look for that as well to see if they had any books on how to train kittens.

I could see how they were starting to decorate for the festival. It would be in the center of the village where they had the wishing fountain. Farther down the street than where we were headed. The _luxurious_ hotel was a three story building painted white with black trim. The lanterns were lit meaning they still had rooms available.

I was focusing so much on what I remembered of this village I almost missed one big thing: the entire feel of this village had changed. I was still developing my sensor skills when I was a genin but I could feel the tension in this village back then. Keeping their head down knowing what the head family was doing had taken its toll. No children were ever seen out this late like I was seeing now. It was more relaxed than I could imagine this place ever becoming. The weight was gone but there was also something else. There were more ninja than I ever thought here. All different chakra sizes and elements; it had almost tripled. They could just be here for the festival and the new clan leader being appointed…but I doubted it.

The hotel had a nice aura around it. I don't remember it from years ago it was too nice with its fountains and footbath. The village had changed my denial wasn't going to change that. The lady running the inn wore an obviously expensive kimono; bows pearls and an intricate design of cherry blossom petals flowing around it. When she saw Itachi and I she smiled brightly and the smile only faltered for a fraction of a second when she saw our eyes. She was used to this kind of company it seems like.

"Oh, you love birds got here just in time. I had almost closed for the night," her tone was kind and inviting but I didn't appreciate the assumption of a relationship. "I have one room left: second floor excellent view of the mountains. Two keys?"

I wanted to sweet talk her. Get another room or maybe a second bed but Itachi was taking the keys before I could react. "Yes, thank you, my partner and I were wondering what was still open at this time of night to get some dinner," Itachi sounded almost charming and the older woman… blushed? What? Was he using genjutsu?

"Afraid most shops have closed to prepare for the festival tomorrow. We have a chef that can bring up the dinner we're serving tonight." She was smiling and messing with her hair. She had to be under some kind of genjutsu.

"Sounds fantastic," he reached for me and it took all I could not to flinch from his hand. He gripped my hand too tightly and I had to hold back a glare. "We're famished from our journey."

She giggled at us. "Your eyes are very complimentary to each other. I'll send something right up." She exited to the back room.

I jerked my hand from his grip. " _Partner_?"

He looked me up and down and I could feel my bewildered expression giving my thoughts away. "I'll explain." So I followed him to our room.

We entered the room as I tried to look as nonchalant as I could muster. I folded my cloak and put Kori on it on a side table as I heard Itachi close the door. I felt him deactivate his Sharingan and I lunged at him. I threw him on the bed and trapped his left arm under my knee. I didn't act quickly enough as his right hand gripped my wrist that held my kunai I had aimed at his eye. I could feel his chest move under me in another situation this would be a precarious position but the anger kept me focused

"Explain. Tell me why I'm here. What is my role in all of this?" I hissed. My face was inches from his.

"You seem to already know." He said indifferently.

Of course. I'm always used this way. For some reason no matter how skillful I become there's only one ever been one use for me: exactly where I was, in a bed with a man. His grip on my wrist tightened and I dropped the kunai. I could feel his other hand twitch under me like he was considering whether or not he could get me off him.

"One thing," I mumbled finally letting my Soshigan fade.

I took off my shirt with my freehand. I was still wearing my long sleeve from the land of frost and the cool air made my skin prickle. I had caught Itachi off guard I could see it in his eyes and his grip on my wrist loosened. _One thing._ I reversed the hold on my wrist letting my shirt fall to the ground and unpinned his other from my knee. I guided both to my hips.

"This?" I asked. I slowly moved his hands over the curve to my waist. I leaned in closer and whispered in his ear. "Is this really all I'm good for?" I straightened and guided his hands up letting him feel my ribcage so slowly he could count if he wanted to until his fingertips were creeping under my bra. We never broke eye contact and I could feel his pulse quicken. I could _feel_ him reacting under me. The time where he thought he could take control of me was gone. I was in control now.

"A good fuck for some quick information." I threw his hands back at him and jumped to the edge of the bed. He sat up and I could see he was starting to sweat. Did he really not know what I was capable of?

"Tanaka?" I asked we still hadn't broken our eye contact.

He nodded slowly. I hissed a curse under my breath and went for my cloak. I was going to see this for myself. "Stop."

I snapped my hand out as he tossed the scroll to me. I glanced it over trying to understand what I was reading. The Tanaka were no longer the head clan here. It was another clan named the Abe who brought peace here almost ten years ago when the Tanaka clan was "mysteriously" weakened. They're now in the weapons trade and they want to be head of the village again. It didn't necessarily say I had to sleep with anyone but it did say the Akatsuki wanted their weapons by any means necessary.

I looked up at Itachi as he threw my shirt back to me. "You took them down ten years ago."

There was a knock at the door, the dinner Itachi ordered if I had to guess. He moved quickly to the door and gave me a look that I didn't completely understand. At my puzzled face he gave an exasperated sigh and looked down. Oh. He wanted me to put my shirt on. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. He didn't even wait until I had it on before he opened the door.

"Oh pardon," it was the inns owner. It was surprising she personally delivered the food. When I pulled my shirt down I saw her blushing more than earlier. Was this how she really was? I'm still not convinced he didn't have some kind of genjutsu on her. "Your dinner Uchiha-sama." Itachi handed me the empty bowls and chopsticks and I went to put them on the little kitchen table.

"If I may be so bold," I heard her whisper to him. "Your wife and you make a very striking couple especially with your eyes. The light and the dark it's why I had to come up here myself, you see beauty must always be appreciated young man."

I had to hold in my laughter after hearing that. I turned back to see Itachi whispering in her ear. He took the container and closed the door to her prying face.

"What'd you say to her?" I asked not being able to stop my curiosity getting the best of me.

"I'll tell you some other time." he opened the lid and I almost forgot why I was so mad; the smell of rice, fish and vegetables took over my senses. It even woke up Kori who started meowing incessantly. Itachi gave her a good sized chunk of the fish before setting it down on the table.

"Sit." He stare was a challenge. I wanted to leave to do some investigating but I had a feeling it would not end up well for me. Itachi sensing my hesitation activated his Sharingan. "Don't make me hurt you, Snowflake."

For some reason that made me laugh. "You couldn't even if you wanted to." I sat down anyway and took a serving for myself. "I took the Tanaka down on accident."

Itachi just waited for me to go on. I didn't want to talk a lot about what happened.

" _'Almost ten years ago_.'" I quoted. I shook my head; it had been a long time since I thought of this. "They were one of the worse sex traffickers and it took a long time before my mother could get an invite here. This was our last mission and we were here for almost six months. I took so long for them to trust us…I lost control and…" I concentrated on shoving food in my mouth. It wasn't important anymore.

"That mission was missing from your file. I only heard rumors." Itachi mumbled.

I scoffed. "No one knows what really happened that night." I locked my blue eyes with his red. "It doesn't say _who_ hired us, but I have a feeling I know who it is."

"You can't kill him."

I looked down at my hands that were clenched on my lap. I didn't need permission from him or anyone the fact that he escaped my wrath years ago wouldn't stop me now.

"Why are you trying to make it seem like we're lovers?" I asked.

Itachi stayed quiet for a long time until I finally looked up at him. "It's easier this way." I just stared him. That wasn't an answer. "I thought…it would make things easier for you if the people of this village think you're taken."

I stared, baffled, that he thought he was _helping_ me. Itachi Uchiha who are you? "Did you put the inn keeper under genjutsu?"

Itachi smirked, tiny, but it was there. "I merely compelled her to tell some of her friends about the lovely couple she met."

"You're insane. If anything we'll be watched more now." I sighed.

"You act as if that will bother us. Keep your composer. Go shopping; get the cat whatever you want. Act like a woman newly in love and this will be easier to get to the heart of the mission." There it was he let it slip.

"You're making me more attractive in _his_ eyes," I snarled. I stood up and I could feel the panic in my chest. "He doesn't get to have me not again… I'm good at going undercover. I can sneak into their compound easily they'll never notice me. I can wear a disguise, a wig, and contacts. He can't remember me from all those years ago. I could get close enough and poison him or better yet just slit his throat…"

"Shikyo," Itachi grabbed me by my shoulders. "You have more control than this. Think clearly."

But his words had no meaning. "If I leave now I can easily blend in and find out how to get to him. I probably wouldn't even be gone…" Itachi activated his Mangekyo but somehow it didn't shake this insanity taking over me. The sad part was I knew I was being unreasonable but I couldn't take control of myself. "Do it. Use your Mangekyo and trap me in your Tsukuyomi." I was out of my mind.

"You'll regret that."


	13. No Light

Itachi and I were supposed to be training. He had came by the house and asked me to join him. It was one of those rare days where we both had a day off together. I had wondered slightly why he wasn't with Shisui. I had just become a chunin and he was an anbu now. What could I possibly do to help him improve? I tried not fool myself into thinking he simply missed my company.

We were lying in a clearing. The sun was warm on my skin, summer was almost over and this was a warmer day than there had been lately. We had tried training but Itachi seemed so distracted it was like he wasn't even paying attention to the world around us and was stuck so intently in his mind.

My sensor skills were improving. I felt like I could actually sense emotions from people now. Chakra told me so much. First it was their chakra element then emotions seemed to wash over me when they used an elemental jutsu but now I could sense it just by focusing. Turmoil was what I felt within Itachi. No one was around. If they were trying to conceal their chakra I would still know. Even Kakashi couldn't hide from me now.

"Are you alright, Itachi-kun?" I asked. I kept my eyes closed. If he wanted to lie to me I would let him. I didn't want to impose more than I already was.

"Why do you ask?"

I thought about how to word this. Could I just say female intuition? Although I don't think he saw me as a girl. I'm ten now but I barely look seven. Would I always look so childlike? When Ruka and Rayne were my age they looked like they were on the cusp of their womanhood while I looked like I should be starting in the academy. I would just have to hope that what mother said about me being a late bloomer was true.

"I... you just seem distracted is all," I couldn't help myself I opened one eye too look at him. He looked relaxed right now. He wearing his anbu uniform minus the mask and the sun was bouncing off him making his hair shine.

I quickly closed my eye when I saw Itachi's eyes start to open. I could hear his quiet chuckle. "I'm just tired from my anbu missions." It was a half truth. I just have a feeling something more was going on. "You never told me about your chunin exam."

"What's there to tell I passed," I sat up. A slight breeze was pushing my hair around my face. It was getting so long. Maybe, I should have braided it back.

"I heard you didn't use your dojutsu until the last round," Itachi sat up too pushing my hair that was blowing around his face out of the way. I twisted it around my shoulder…wait was he keeping tabs on me?

"Mother told me to keep it a secret. Show them what I could do without any help, plus my first opponent was an earth user and I can't do anything with earth chakra," I could hear the frustration building in my voice. Water and fire were easy and I was so close to mastering wind. "I did learn something new."

Itachi looked at me curiously. I used the needed hand signs and chidori formed in my hand.

"I've seen you use chidori."

"Patience Mr. Genius," I activated my Soshigan. Focusing my free hand over chidori I pulled excess lightning chakra into my free hand. I let out a soft breath. This took all my attention. I deactivated chidori and moved the lightning from hand to hand pushing it from fingertip to fingertip.

"When did you learn this," I could see his interested expression as I pointed my finger at a tree and all the energy went flying out.

"I just thought since Kakashi-san won't help me I'll figure it out so after electrocuting myself like ten times I think I'm one step closer," I smiled hugging my knees to my chest the breeze suddenly had a bite to it.

"I thought you wanted to do it in order," Itachi questioned.

I snorted "What order? Why do I have to just focus on one? Mother and Kakashi-san keep saying I have to focus on wind but what do they know? What does anyone know about my Kekkei Genkai? I have no one to teach me…" I trailed off when I saw his hurt face. "You know what I mean…senpai." I hid my smile in my knees.

"I told you not to call me that."

I laughed. Maybe he wouldn't talk to me about his problems but I could distract him for a little bit. Just for the moment. "I'm sorry but you know what I mean. I have no one to go to with my questions."

"You can come to me," he mumbled looking down.

"I appreciate it, Itachi-kun," I bumped his shoulder with my shoulder smiling. "I'm just… frustrated! I can see all this chakra around me but I can't figure out how to use it. And Earth!" I glared down at the ground like is somehow betrayed me. "Don't even get me started on earth chakra."

"You should study with earth chakra users if you're that stumped by it," Itachi suggested lying back again with his hands under his head.

I groaned putting my face against my knees. That's what he always says practice, practice, practice…and we had company coming fast.

"Hello Kakashi-san," my voice muffled.

Itachi sat straight up. I could feel how tense he was next to me.

"I thought I'd find you two together," he chuckled coming out from the trees. He was wearing his anbu uniform as well and his mask was on the side of his head. I once asked him why he wears a mask under his anbu mask and then mother said he wears a mask _under_ his actual mask. What was so crazy about his face?

"We're training," I said before Itachi could say anything.

"You know how your mother worries when you run off without telling her," Kakashi lectured.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I looked young but I'm not a child.

"It's my fault," Itachi said. "I asked Shikyo-chan to meet me here at a rather early time. I apologize for any inconvenience I've caused."

I tried to hide my shock. Did Itachi just lie to Kakashi? Why?

"I see," and I saw his change of demeanor he was no longer scolding a child he was all business. "There's a meeting tonight at dusk."

Anbu business that's why he was actually here. Of course. I doubt mother even said anything about me leaving this morning. He liked to poke and prod at things that didn't concern him. I never understood how he can act like I'm such a nuisance but then think I should tell him about my friendship with Itachi. I knew they were on the same team but I never asked about what the anbu did. It wasn't like I would get any answers.

Itachi nodded and Kakashi disappeared into the forest.

"Sometimes I think he doesn't like that we're friends," I said looking where Kakashi just was feeling his chakra fade.

"Really?" Itachi said giving me a curious look. "I think the opposite."

"What? I know he's like my uncle or something but he's always so curious about us training together." He also liked to tease me about Itachi but I wasn't about to admit that.

"He told me he's glad you have friends because you're weird," Itachi laughed a little.

"He called me weird?" I could hear the shock in my voice.

"Well think about it," he said tapping my nose. "You came here a few years ago from a different land, you have a dojutsu no one has ever heard of, and you became a genin and chunin now rather young. You hang out with older kids while you look…" he gestured at me.

Rude. "I told you what my mother said," I said indignantly.

"I know," he said cutting me off. "But most girls your age are more concerned with looking cute for boys not taking down an organization of child traffickers."

I paused, maybe most ten year olds did think that way but I never really talked to anyone my age. "No one thinks Ruka and Rayne are weird."

Ruka and Rayne. Itachi and Shisui. Best friends. Closer maybe. I didn't have one like that. Your mother can't be your best friend. I've always kind of been alone but it didn't bother me. Not entirely. Not when I didn't think about it.

"They aren't watched like you. Everyone wants to know what you're capable of…Rain Bringer."

"Shut up," I tried to hit him but he easily blocked my hand. "No one calls me that anymore, right? Wait; don't tell me I don't want to know."

I looked at our hands that were still touching. Strange, I didn't feel his inner turmoil as strongly now. Was I being a good distraction like I was trying to be? No, it was still there in the back of it all, ever present. Itachi saw me looking at our connection and quickly moved his hand.

"Why are you sad Itachi-kun," it slipped out before I could stop it.

"Wha..."

"I'm sorry," I said looking away. "I can kind of sense emotions through chakra now. I didn't mean to invade your privacy, but I can feel it." I looked at his dark eyes. They did show sadness in them. "You're conflicted about something."

"You're getting too perceptive, Shikyo-chan," he said. There wasn't anger in voice though, like I feared there would be. "…What would you do for this village?"

What did this have to do with anything? "I guess anything they ask of me." I could hear the puzzlement in my voice.

"You guess or you would?" his voice was intense.

"I would…this is my home. I hold no love for the Land of Water. I have done everything they've asked of me no questions asked."

"Everything." His conviction was almost frightening.

I looked away. Her little voice whispered in my ear. _Please kill me. Please._

"…Everything."

"What would you do for this village," Itachi asked again.

I hesitated he just asked me this, "I said anything they asked."

Something was wrong the world around us didn't look as clear anymore all the edges were blurry like we were suddenly underwater.

" _Please kill me,"_ Itachi's mouth moved but her voice came out.

I jumped back startled. "Wh-what?"

Itachi stood up his kind demeanor gone. "Who is she?"

"What? What is happening?" This was wrong. Were we training again was he using genjutsu? This couldn't be reality. What was I supposed to do in genjutsus? I couldn't remember he never tested me like this. Itachi would never intentionally scare me…would he?"

"This is where you go to hide? The past," he asked looking around and then down at himself and frowned.

"It's nice here," I whispered. "Nothing bad has happened to anyone." I looked down at my hands they were shaking but they didn't look like my hands anymore it didn't look like the forest surrounding Konoha and the sky had turned red. What was he doing?

"Except to you." He sighed. And her voice screamed everywhere again and again.

"Stop!" I said covering my ears and it did so intensely like the whole world stopped with it. Then there was no forest we were just standing in empty space a red moon above us.

"Shikyo," but he didn't say my name like he used to. There was something wrong. Was this really Itachi? "Show me."

"I-I can't," I was hugging myself to keep from shaking. "What do you want, Itachi-kun?" he's never showed this side to me and why was I so scared? This wasn't how a shinobi should react but I felt like I couldn't get a grip on reality and now I had no control.

 _"Use your_ _Mangekyo and trap me in your Tsukuyomi. Do it!"_

 _"You'll regret that."_

The words rang out into the emptiness my voice sounded wild. That's what was happening as the years caught up to me and my shaking stopped. He trapped me in his genjutsu and I asked for it because I think in that state I thought nothing could be worse than what was going through my head. Looks like he turned it around on me.

"You're hiding it quite well," he said. "All that escapes is her voice and I can't find it."

"Repressed memory." I said. "It should stay that way."

We were both in our child forms, I was ten he was twelve. Only one year left before it all fell apart. It was nicer here. Sure, we were both obviously going through some internal shit but nothing _drastic_ happened yet. And I liked remembering the past when things were easy compared to now. Childhood naivety most likely, shit was always bad, it's all about what you can handle.

"Let's look around."

 _No!_

But it was too late the world was spinning and forming into…my bedroom. I had to be about sixteen. Bottles were thrown about everywhere, clothes and weapons. I was on the bed sleeping and Kai was next to me. This was when things we getting bad drinking, drugs, and popping pills. How we managed to keep everything hidden I'll never know.

"Shikyo!" it was Kakashi who just suddenly appeared in the room.

Oh no, it was this day. No, I didn't want to see this. This was my mind couldn't I change what memory we saw? I tried looking away and focus on a memory from when I was six reading in my room from the series Kakashi bought me, and I saw the room ripple Kakashi was starting to fade...

"What are you trying to hide from me?" Itachi was behind me and he put his hand under my chin and made me face the scene.

My hungover or was I still drunk teenage self shot awake. "Fuck."

I saw the horror in my eyes as I saw Kakashi. He looked beyond angry and with me awkwardly trying to hide Kai, who was also waking up, wasn't helping anything. My hair was a mess and my make up was smudged around my eyes. Thankfully I wasn't naked when I stood up but seeing how wobbly I was I was obviously still drunk.

"Leave," I said to Kai from over my shoulder.

"Don't move!" Kakashi bellowed. Kai stopped halfway to my window.

I had never seen him as mad as this situation and I don't know how I stayed calm. _I_ wanted to slap myself I couldn't imagine what Kakashi was thinking.

"Just leave," I said softly and squared my shoulders at Kakashi not letting him break eye contact with me. Gods, I was a nightmare. Kai just vanished I guess I never looked to see him leave. He always did handle his alcohol better than me. "You're home early."

"That's all you can say," the disbelief in Kakashi's voice made me want to look away but Itachi was still making me look. This was the biggest fight we ever had.

"Well if you didn't come home early we wouldn't be in this situation."

"Shikyo you're in the anbu and you're acting like this? Please tell me that wasn't your captain."

My reaction gave me away. I probably could have lied but even I felt the shame on my face. Why did Itachi want to see this memory? What was he looking for?

"Do you know the repercussions for this? For him? What are you thinking? Do you think he even cares about you?"

And I/she started to laugh. Looking back it was obvious what was going to happen only a few months from now but I needed to hit rock bottom sometimes it's the only way to know which way is up. "No. I don't think he cares about me because no one does. Don't you get it, Kakashi? I'm worthless. _This_ is all I'll ever be good for. Deluding myself into thinking someone could love me after all I've done. That's foolish."

The room swirled again and I let out a shaky breathe, really it shouldn't have taken a toll on me like this but this is what genjutsu does it can take a simple emotion and amplify it until it over takes you.

"What are you trying to prove Itachi?" I asked. He was still standing behind me with his hand on my shoulder.

"What are you hiding?" he whispered in my ear.

The scenery changed and I was looking at my seven years old self. I was in the kitchen staring at the oven constantly turning the light on and off. My mother came in wearing a silver sweater and dark pants.

"Shikyo let me help."

"No, I'm almost done! The potatoes and vegetables are done and the fish is almost ready to be flipped."

"Shikyo it's _your_ birthday I should be cooking for you," this wasn't her first time trying to get me out of the kitchen.

"Get out," I was pointing a spatula at her like I wasn't afraid to hit her. "Besides you're a horrible cook."

My mother rolled her eyes and said "Well, your guests are here."

"I'll be done in five minutes!"

Man, I was a stubborn little shit when I was younger. My hair was just passing my shoulders it was back when I still kept it short. This must have been my birthday party.

"What are you looking for?" I asked Itachi looking at him for over my shoulder.

"I wanted a happy memory." He sounded confused.

"I wouldn't go in there she's already threatened me twice," I heard my mother warn.

Itachi entered holding a present wrapped in white wrapping paper and a blue bow.

"I told you!" I whipped the spatula at Itachi obviously thinking it was my mother again thankfully he had quick reflexes.

"Your mother was right about you guarding this kitchen," he blocked the spatula from slapping across his face and smiled.

"Ah, sorry Itachi-kun," I immediately hid the spatula behind me like that would hide all the evidence.

"We got this for you," he handed me the tiny present.

I saw how I looked at the oven one last time before taking the gift. I cared more about making the dinner perfect than a present. I untied the bow and unwrapped the paper. Inside was a little box. Opening it I pulled out a silver necklace with a small snowflake charm.

The scene froze. "Itachi?" I was enjoying watching this one at least.

The world spun and we were staring at a giant door with locks on it. Then we were thrown to another memory. I was maybe four and I was sitting around a poorly made fire with Akari. We were laughing. Seeing us so young I did see the resemblance when we smiled.

The door appeared again and it was like we bounced off it throwing us into another memory. I was on the ground panting and Kai was standing over me. The cocky smirk I had and his eye roll meant I just said something I found hilarious.

"Your taijutsu is better than I expected for a ninjutsu user," Kai remarked extending a hand to me.

"I have many skills," I pulled him into me.

The scene changed before we saw anything and there was the door again. Her voice screamed and we were thrown again. This time it was just me staring down at the village with bloodshot eyes and a look of disgust on my face. This was the day I left the village. My thoughts were floating around us.

 _I'm never coming back._

The door popped up again and again we were thrown around my mind. I was laughing with Ruka and Rayne in a sauna. The door. Itachi and I in a bookstore. The door. Kai, Ruka, Rayne and I hanging out in a café. Door. Kakashi giving me the books. Door. My mother and I eating ice cream. Door. Helping Kakashi train team 7. Door.

"You won't find it." I turned to look at him we were our actual ages again. It dawned on me that he was a year younger than Kai for some reason. "I don't know who she is anymore." He just stared at me I could tell he didn't believe me. "You won't find it. Whatever it is you're looking for is buried; you'll need a new tactic."

"Did Kakashi tell you what I did to him?" he whispered he was running his fingers through my hair. I froze. I knew _exactly_ what happened to Kakashi because of Itachi. In an instant I was staked to a cross looking down at Itachi a sword in his hand. "Is this more to your liking?"

Actually, it was, I could take pain. I could take the torture because he couldn't break me it would jeopardize the mission. Although, he could do whatever he wants to me I shouldn't act like I had him all figured out. These aren't the regular rules we were playing by.

"She had it locked away," I muttered. The cross vanished and I landed in front of him. Why was he prying so much?

The scene became the Tanaka compound. Ruka, Rayne and I were in similar kimonos to my mother who was in front of us.

"We had anbu with us this night. There would be a raid and they were going to take out as many as they could…but something happened." I said looking at my younger self. "I know but I don't know. It's like being told a story from when you were a baby you know it happened but it's not really real."

We were in a plain room. Some blankets on the floor and a couple lit lanterns with the Tanaka crest on them. The sound of the battle outside finally registered to me. "Alright you two, help as many children as you can, and stay out of the way. Ruka try to heal who you can."

"Yes sensei," we all said.

We entered the battle and each went in a different direction. Ruka was helping a small boy with a gash on his head. Rayne was directing two kids to an exit away from all the bloodshed. That's when I heard the girl crying for help. The scene was starting to fade around the edges like I didn't actually remember that day well. My nine year old self ran for the door but it was the same door we kept running into locking us out of that memory. She ran through and the world we were in went dark and all I could hear was her begging for me to kill her over and over.

"I know I killed her. She was in a cage and just so beaten down. Her eyes looked so dead that I think she would have killed herself without me." I said looking at the place my past self just was.

Then _he_ appeared out of the darkness, his dark features and wicked face still show up in my nightmares, although she haunted me for some reason. He couldn't be much older than I am now but when I was younger I just saw a monster. And then the world went dark except for my screaming.

"I fought him," I said turning to look at Itachi, "and then…"

The world burst into flames and I was laying on the ground bleeding. The body on fire ran off. I was crying and curling into a ball. Every scream made the flame intensify and seeing what little of my arms I could I saw some feathers start glowing lightly. I was tapping into the phoenix. My mother appeared and was trying to console me. I believe I would have let the phoenix out and killed everyone that night if it wasn't for her.

"Shikyo its okay I'm here. Look at me. Shikyo look at me." My eyes opened and my Soshigan was spinning wildly out of control. "You need to stop the fire okay? Do you understand; you need to put the fire out."

"No no no no no no." I was repeating it to myself.

Kakashi suddenly appeared with his anbu mask still on. He bent down and put a hand on my back trying to calm me. "Harumi look where she's bleeding."

My mother pulled me into her lap. "Shikyo please stop the fire. If you put it out we can help you."

"It hurts mother," I said my face buried in her chest. "It hurts."

"Shh its okay. Look at me." I looked up at her my eyes still spinning. "Stop the fire I know you don't want to hurt anyone and I know we're safe by you but think of Ruka and Rayne they're out there and your flames are spreading."

I buried my face back in her chest and nodded. The flames all around died out. The world was dark except for the three of them.

"Kakashi take her," My mother said handing my tiny body to him. "I'll put her under genjutsu. Her powers can't be trusted."

"Harumi."

"She'll be okay," she said putting her hand on my head. "…I'll make sure of it."

I looked back at Itachi as the world went red. "She took me to some kind of healer. The next few months I don't remember at all. The next thing I can clearly remember is her telling us we were going to the chunin exams. Are you satisfied? You found out my secrets."

"No."

Anxiety had me frozen. That was my voice but it sounded different, wrong, and demonic. Itachi disappeared and everything went dark except for the red moon reminding me this wasn't real.

"Shikyo, you forgot about me."

"This isn't real, this isn't real." I said covering my face with my hands. "You're not real." I whispered bending down trying to find solid ground.

"Shikyo," she tapped my shoulder and I looked into the eyes of my nine year old self, only there was something wrong. Her face was gaunt across her cheekbones like she was near death. Her eyes were wide and blood red. "Why did you forget about me?"

"I…I…" I couldn't stop staring as I felt my pulse quicken just by looking at her. She was bleeding everywhere.

"You let me die," she cried tears of blood.

"I… I didn't kill you." I whispered.

She snarled at me. "You abandoned me and left me here alone to die!"

"I had to," I said looking down at my hands. "You were so broken she had to fix you."

"You forgot about me!" she accused.

"No," I said grabbing her. "You're still with me."

"Liar!" she spat and her voice echoed everywhere.

"She had to fix you. You were weak and had given up. If you had been stronger you'd still be here!" I yelled. I felt like crying so I leaned into my anger.

"You left me alone in my pain!"

 _It hurts it all hurts. Why can't I die? What would it matter? I already feel dead._ I let go of her and covered my ears falling on my knees it was like the voice went directly into my eardrum.

"You never left me. You're what I see in the mirror every day." _WEAK!_ "You're the anxiety that keeps me up at night." _BROKEN!_ "You are the panic at the thought of someone abandoning me." _WORTHLESS!_ "You are everything I want to change about myself." _NEEDY! INSECURE! WHORE! MONSTER!_

I could barely hear myself over all the yelling but she was still staring at me crying those awful blood tears. My eyes couldn't help looking at all the wounds she had; her legs were soaked in blood, scars on her face. I can't remember ever looking so bad.

"Don't you see?" I groaned the loud voice making me dizzy. It was my voice telling me every bad thing I've ever told myself. I could feel the pressure building in the back of my throat. I wouldn't cry. This was _still_ Itachi and I couldn't let him win. "You had to die. You were weak and only the strong can survive."

"She never loved me did she?" she cried harder it echoing making my bones vibrate.

"She did it for you, she made you strong. Aren't you glad I forgot? Don't you want to?" I huffed. I could barely hear myself over her wails.

She finally stopped crying and her empty eyes stared at me her mouth curling into a cruel grin. "You'll never forget and you'll always be broken."

My voice started again louder this time. Grabbing the side of my head and screaming did nothing to drown out my own voice. Every horrible thing I've ever said to myself echoed around my brain every new word bringing a different form of pain: anxiety, self hatred, desperation, jealousness, depression, guilt and finally apathy. A vast emptiness spread within me.

I finally opened my eyes and saw Itachi staring down at me. "…Stop."

I felt like I was flung back into my body. The scene hadn't changed at all. Itachi was staring into my face. His Sharingan was the last thing I saw before the lethargy from the emotional turbulence caught up to me and I fell to the floor.

* * *

For three glorious seconds I forgot who I was when I woke up and then last night hit me. All my unstable emotions overtook me. I felt like I was drowning in them so I allowed myself three minutes where I curled in a ball and streamed and cried into a pillow letting it all flow through me. My body felt heavy and getting out of bed took all my strength. I'll give this inn one thing: their beds were comforting during a mental breakdown.

Standing up my stomach immediately dropped and I couldn't control my urge to vomit. Luckily I made it to the bathroom in time. Was this still shock? I guess it would explain my cold sweats. I understood why Kakashi was put out of action for so long because of Itachi. The mental torture took its toll on your body as well.

The knock at the door made me want to scream again. I stayed as quiet as I could; praying whoever it was would just leave but they knocked again. I groaned wiping my mouth as I went to the door. Opening the door it was the innkeeper with what looked like food.

"Oh good you're awake, your husband asked me to send you up lunch at noon." She beamed at me.

Lunch? Noon? When was the last time I had slept this long?

"You look a little sick dear," she seemed worried. "Are you expecting?"

I was so taken aback it woke up my other senses. "What?! No, of course not."

She laughed at me. "You're still young keep your beauty while you can, children will age you." She handed me a container full of food and left saying. "But when you do decide to have children come by again. I would love to see how their eyes turn out."

The smell of the food made me want to gag again. I put it on the table and threw some of the bird meat to Kori who was just waking up. "Be a good girl," I whispered petting her head heading for the shower.

Where was Itachi? I thought as I made the water freezing for the first few minutes. I guess I'm grateful he wasn't here when I woke up I don't think I could handle it. I made the water warm and washed the sweat and tears away. I tried not to look in the mirror when I woke up but my quick glance showed me my eyes were bloodshot and I looked paler than usual. The innkeeper was right to think I looked ill. I was.

Getting out I put on tight black pants and my regular sports bra with mesh over it. My skin still tingled from the shower. It took awhile before I felt clean after what happened.

 _Keep your composer. Go shopping. Act like a woman in love._

There was still a mission. What was going on inside me didn't matter. I put Kori in my shirt and put on my cloak. I could carry on. I had to; I didn't have any other choice besides talking to Kori distracted me from my own thoughts.

"Alright pretty girl," I said walking out the door, "we'll put on our prettiest smile and trick everyone into thinking we're happily married to…"

He wasn't scary at first. Well, I was scared, of course I was. Itachi Uchiha could possibly be the most gifted ninja to ever exist and I know I could never take him on and actually survive if he wanted to kill me. So far he hadn't but I _needed_ to stop pushing my luck with him; Stop being so angry for the past and just focus on what I need to do: get in contact with the Leaf let them know who their enemy is. I'm letting my own personal demons get the better of me. Last night just proved to me I need to let things go and move on.

 _After I kill him._.. And if I mess up the deal to get the Akatsuki more weapons…so be it. I'll take the consequences.

I went to the pet store that was close to the inn. I had taken most of my savings with me when I left the Leaf. I left Kakashi some money and a list of groceries I always bought. Hopefully he didn't just start living off ramen like he always did when I was on long missions.

I picked out a food and water bowl set that said ME-OW. I couldn't get over how cute some pet things were. I've never been able to spoil any of the dogs so I'm going to spoil this kitten. It will at least make me smile. Kori seemed more interested in the balls with bells inside them than the feather toys. I got both anyway. I stopped myself when I saw the clothes. There was only so far I was willing to go.

The cashier told me the library was on the other side of the village. I told her the kitten was a wedding present from my husband. Hopefully I did it in a convincing manner. When I wasn't focusing on what I was looking at my mind would wander back to last night and the face I could feel myself make was not that of a happy newlywed.

Walking through town was a literal trip down memory lane. A lot of things had changed though: More people were out, unsupervised children ran carefree, a couple people actually smiled at me. One time I was sent to the store to grab food for all of us and an older lady nearly had a heart attack seeing me alone. She wouldn't leave my side and walked me back to the hotel. She then chastised my mother for nearly 30 minutes about how dangerous the village was. She didn't know who my mother was pretending to be. What we were supposed to be.

I went out of the way to check out the village square. They were setting up tents for the merchants; it looked like almost all the decorations were up. The fountain in the middle of the square had flowers floating around in the water. Tonight would be more about food and shopping for the festival. Tomorrow would be dancing, drinking and all sorts of craziness. The last day was supposed to be the feast and that's when things would play out. I could feel my heart pounding at the thought.

The library didn't have much on training cats. I guess I would figure that out with time but what they did have was the next installment in my book series. I couldn't help myself I bought it right away. The book had evolved over the years no longer a little genin the protagonist was a jonin now and wanted to be the Kage of her village. Would she become it in this book? I had to find out. How many more books would the author write?

I was wasting time walking through the town trying to remember things from back then. I know I would wonder the village late at night when I was younger anxiety took its toll on my sleep and I was committed to knowing every route you could take here. Things came back slowly. If I stopped focusing it came back easier.

"Excuse me! Miss Shinobi!" I heard a voice yell.

I looked around I was on the outskirts of the village now, more forest and farmlands. When did I wonder to this area? To my right an old lady was waving for me. "What me?"

She rolled her eyes at me, "do you see anyone else around." Well she had me there. "I need help."

What was I a genin again? Pfft old people see a Hitai-ate and think we're here to help with all their tedious chores. "I'm not a shinobi of your land." I said about to leave her.

"Ah, they're all busy and I need help with my garden. Wait! Wait!" She yelled as I started to walk away. "I could pay you of course, 1000 yen."

That would be useful I just spent way too much on the cat. Alright, she bought me. I walked over to her fenced land. Behind her was a garden full of vegetables. Her dark hair streaked with gray was in a bun and she wore ratty old clothes covered in dirt. She had brown eyes and upon further inspection she was probably older than I thought she was.

I leaped her fence and followed her to the side of her simple house. It looked as old as she was. She should have asked me to fix her house instead of gardening. "Alright young kunoichi." Her wrinkled face deepened with her smile. "I need my new tree planted here."

Against the side of her house was a sapling in a pot with a shovel next to it. Well, at least it would be easy. "Alright." I said activating my Soshigan and focused on the earth chakra to make a hole in the ground to fit the sapling in. I grabbed the sapling took it out of the pot and placed it in the hole and filled the hole in. "That all?" I asked deactivating my Soshigan.

"We have to water it!" she said inspecting the way I planted the plant. Did she doubt my gardening skills? I focused just above the sapling. Earth always made my Soshigan activate but molding water and air chakra? I didn't need it visible to form a small cloud. It sprinkled water on the tree giving it a nice shine. "A little more, this plant will be thirsty."

"It's going to rain tonight you might want me to stop." I said. She looked at my curiously but nodded anyway and the cloud disappeared. Kori poked her face out from behind my neck, hidden in my hair, and meowed at the old lady.

"A sweet kitten," she cooed reaching out to scratch her chin. "That was much faster than I believed possible let me make you lunch." She was quick for being so old and I followed her listening to her complaining about how lazy the village's shinobi were.

"Oh it is so cold in here!" she exclaimed when we entered. I felt myself start sweating. She thought this was cold? Outside was much colder and she seemed fine in her gardening clothes. "Start a fire will you?" she pointed at her fire place. The fire was dying, sure, but it didn't need any more wood. I added my chakra to it just to make her happy and the flame rose higher.

Her house was small and tidy. She kept a lot of nitnacks on shelves spread out around the room. She seemed to have a thing for collecting small little porcelain dolls that looked like elves. I took my cloak off and hung it behind my chair at her table. It was too warm in here but old people get cold easily I suppose.

"What's your name girl?" she asked putting a kettle over the flames of her fire.

"Shikyo," I said. I saw her eyeing my "tattoo." She had a sharp look about her. She wasn't suffering from the slowing of mental abilities that seemed to affect the elderly. She was very keen to my every move.

"You're married to the Uchiha? Word been going about the Clan Killer and his beautiful bride." She kept her back to me as she said this but I could still here the disgust in her voice.

I snorted. "What happened to this village respecting privacy?"

That made her laugh as she put a cup down and filled it with tea. "Oh no secret will ever escape that fence surrounding us but among the villagers? We don't normally have much to talk about."

 _Act like a woman in love._

I smiled taking a sip of the green tea, "I understand that. No matter where we go I guess a bad reputation follows."

"Status of an outsider doesn't matter to us. Good gossip is all we care about." She placed an empty plate in front of me. "What's your Kekkei Genkai? Excuse my candor but I doubt the Uchiha would choose you if you weren't skilled."

That made me laugh harder than I expected. The elderly really didn't care about much when they get to the end do they? I activated my Soshigan and looked up at her. She didn't look scared but she didn't look as relaxed either. "Just a remnant of a dead clan." _Clan killers have to stay together._

"Dead, eh?"

Water eyes stared at me.


End file.
